You may want to check Part 1 and Part 3

You will have to read this as if you were watching a tv series.

Previously on LessonInLife… “Cruel Process, Wild things and Weekend”

Like I said, usually when you reached step 3, you already have made the decision. For those who still can’t make up their mind, there’s always other tools you can use that may help.

4) Criteria Weight Solution
This tool is actually widely used in a feasibility study. Let me demonstrate it for you. Take my case criteria for example, “Manner”, “Nice conversation” and “Nice to look at”.

First I have to assign some weight or figure to the “manner”, which is the most important to me. The higher the figure, the more important it is to me. In this specific case I assign as follows
Manner - 3 point
Nice Conversation - 2 point
Nice to look at - 1 point

Then scrutinize both girlfriends, which is better in term of “manner”. If A is better, give her 2 points and give B 1 point. Here’s how to do the calculation : Girlfriend A - Manner (2 point), Nice conversation (1 point), Nice to look at (2 point). Multiply the point given to the weight of each criteria.

For example, 2 X 3 = 6, 1 X 2 = 2, 2 X 1 = 2
The total for girlfriend A = 10 points

For girlfriend B - Manner (1 point), Nice conversation (2 point), Nice to look at (1 point).
1 X 3 = 3, 2 X 2 = 4, 1 X 1 = 1

The total for girlfriend B = 8 points.

Using this tool, the logical decision to make is choosing girlfriend A.

* Please note that I am not in anyway objectify woman. The examples are just to help you better understand the weighing tool which is an acceptable means to justify your choice scientifically. It can be applies to any others such as choosing real estate, career etc. If I offend anyone, do let me know and I will rewrite everything using other examples.

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This is the first of How To Make Decision Series. You may want to check Part 2 and Part 3

At first I would like to do another topic. But somehow this topic seems more relevant to one of my friends (who is reading this).

So how do you decide on thing?. How do you decide between girlfriend A and girlfriend B? or which house you should buy? There are so many way to decide on things. And I believe all of us have develop an internal system on the methodology. Here’s mine. I’m taking the girlfriends case as an example, simply because it is more fun hehe

1) Do I really need to make that choice?

• First ask this question, because a 7 years old and/or a 70 years old definitely doesn’t need a girlfriend. Why torture yourself with the dilemma. Sometime and by sometime, I mean, all the time our mind will think about things that have no relevant to us. For example, worried about getting fat, when you are actually underweight with a lifestyle of an athlete. Stop torturing yourself!

2) There is always option C and D.

• You are going to make an important decision. Of course you will have to check if there is any other alternative. Option C is actually to choose both options. And option D is to choose neither. Consider this for a change.
• FYI in engineering, there is the term “do-nothing”. For example, flood happens once every year and workers cannot come to work. The company can either invest millions to construct water disposal system, or we can just declare that days as paid leave to all workers, and only loss thousands

3) Decide on your criteria (Quality that must be present)

• For example, the criteria in choosing a girlfriend maybe manner, nice conversation, and nice to look at. Do note that the quality must be clear. If, for example, when you look at girlfriend A - “I’m comfortable talking to her”, and when you look at girlfriend B - “But she’s funny”, then you’ll be repeating that argument for the rest of your life, while singing “Disana Menanti Disini Menunggu”. No point!
• It may be cruel but you have to know which is better in term of the criteria you define.

• Note : Criteria can also be in negative form, for example, the girlfriend must not be smoking. If girlfriend A does smoke and B does not. Immediately choose B

• The criteria based selection is a cruel process. If for example girlfriend B has no manner. Immediately end the decision making choosing girlfriend A. The point of this process is to make the decision and not to entertain the dilemma. So be strong ya!

Mind is a very wild thing. It can be thinking about one thing and later think about a totally different thing immediately. That’s why it is sometime good to have an organized decision making skill. Believe me, the process may look like it take a long time, but when you are so used to it, effective decision can be made in seconds.

Up until this point, usually you have come up with a decision. If not, no fear, there are two more secret steps that will guarantee effective decision making. – To Be Continued –

————— Personal Note ————————–
Guys, I will be going to KL this Friday and Saturday, so there is high possibility I can’t see you guys until Sunday. Apparently I have some matters at Putrajaya on Friday. Any of you guys work in Putrajaya? Can’t wait to be back. But you never know, I just might have that itch and go to internet cafe. So do come in and say hi. Have a nice weekend everyone

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I remember one story I read in my email. I’ll try to rewrite the story from my memory. One person (who we will call Tenggang) came to see an ustaz. The ustaz was at the moment teaching his student about Islam in a mosque. Tenggang rudely interrupt the teaching and asked the ustaz.

Tenggang : Ustaz, you have been teaching about Allah and Islam. I just want to ask you two questions.
Ustaz : (interrupted but stil remain calm) Yes, please ask and I’ll try to explain them to you if I know

Tenggang : You talked about Allah, Can you show me this Allah so I can look and be satisfied? Second question, It was said that Satan was created from fire. Hell was also said to be made of fire. If so, how can satan be tormented and tortured in hell when he is fire by nature?

Ustaz : (approached Tenggang.. and slap him)
Tenggang : (shocked) Why are you mad at me? Is this how an ustaz should behave?

Ustaz : I just answered both questions with the slap.
Tenggang : (still angry) What do you mean by that?

Ustaz : Do you feel the pain when I slap you?
Tenggang : Yes, what’s your point?

Ustaz : So you believe that the pain exist?
Tenggang : Yes

Ustaz : Then show me this pain. Obviously you cannot, you can’t even comprehend such a normal feeling, how would you expect to understand the physical of Allah (Zat). To know Allah is not to know His “zat”. You would go crazy if you think about it. Know Him through His creation.

Tenggang : (slightly humble) But what about the second question?
Ustaz : What is your cheek made of?

Tenggang : Skin
Ustaz : And what is my hand made of?

Tenggang : (Realizing) Also skin
Ustaz : So when I slap you, do you feel the pain?

Tenggang : Yes, Ustaz
Ustaz : Even though Satan is created from fire and so is hell. If Allah will it to hurt satan, It will hurt him.

/end story

I read a lot of debate from non-believer who actually question the very existence of God. And they were actually expecting a logical answer from us. The thing is, logic is flawed to begin with. The story serve as a good example of this. To those non-believer, before you ask for the logic behind God, tell me first, where’s the logic of you being you

• you cannot choose the way you were born

• you cannot choose the way you were going to die

• you claim that you live but you have absolutely no control of your inner organ. Try to make your heart stop beating for five seconds or ten. How to claim you are you when you can’t even explain your beginning, your life and your end

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Do you like to watch tv series FRIENDS. You know with Ross, Joey, Chandler, Monica, Rachel and Pheoebe. If you don’t, no matter. Im just quoting one scene from their show. Ross found out that Phoebe doesn’t believe in evolution. Well, he tried in many ways to prove to Phoebe that evolution is an idea she MUST accept without a doubt. Here is the transcript of the scene.

PHOEBE: Uh-oh. It’s Scary Scientist Man.ROSS: Ok, Phoebe, this is it. In this briefcase I carry actual scientific facts. A briefcase of facts, if you will. Some of these fossils are over 200 million years old.

PHOEBE: Ok, look, before you even start, I’m not denying evolution, ok, I’m just saying that it’s one of the possibilities.

ROSS: It’s the only possibility, Phoebe.

PHOEBE: Ok, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much, ok? Wasn’t there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the world was flat? And, up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can’t admit that there’s a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this?

ROSS: (After a long pause) There might be, a teeny, tiny, possibility.

PHOEBE: I can’t believe you caved.

ROSS: What?
/end transcript

The point I want to highlight is we can never assume what we thought or understand is correct and true. Even if the whole world know that 1+1=2, we must always keep an open mind that maybe there are other answers to it. Other view on things should always be considered as “another way to look at it” and not “this idea is ridiculous, go to hell!!”.

Finally, there are still so much we don’t know about the world we live in. Examples are like our minds, the ghost as in my previous post, out conscience, black hole maybe heaven and hell etc.

• Keep an open mind and be humble with new ideas.
• We don’t need to accept and agree on everything.
• What we don’t know doesn’t always be wrong and what we know doesn’t always be right. Who knows in time, we will reach the level of science where we can explain what make us alive or the existence of jinn and satan.

————— Personal Note ————————–
I’m very sorry this post is not another of my ghost theories. I can assure you, it is very exciting sharing them with you. However the topic may be too heavy for some and it is always my intention for this blog to be light and easy. (just like the radio channel). But if there are demand from fellow friends, I would be delighted to present them to you. :)About FRIENDS - I know somebody might hate them. But I’ve always like to watch the series. They are very refreshing and as you can see… educational

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To start, I would like to say that my following points will mainly be based on my knowledge on Islam teaching. Please correct me if I am wrong.

Let me first define what is ghost in malay culture. Typical examples are as follow

• “Pontianak” - said to be created from pregnant woman killed.
• “Hantu Susu” - once famous, ghostly woman knocking houses asking milk for her newborn
• “Hantu Raya” - said to look alike the owner and is super strong
• “Hantu Tinggi”, “Pocong”, “Hantu Jepun” and many more.

Why do I say, all the defined ghost are not real

• Pregnant woman killed or died is considered in Islam as “Syahid Kecil” (honoured death). There is no way those who “syahid” will become ghost.

• “Seksa / Nikmat Kubur” is a very real thing in Islam. It is supposed to be permanent until the Judgment Day. How come human spirit can haunt the living if they are in “Alam Kubur”. If they were tortured, obviously they cannot get out to haunt you. And if they were blessed with pleasure, why would they want to get out.

• As mentioned earlier, there is no actual proof that anybody has seen a ghost in their entire life. Stories we heard are almost always about “friend of a friend”. I doubt we can trace back the story to the original person. There are those who claim sensing the presence via voices, shadow etc. I stand by my first theory on this one (please refer to previous post). Jin however is a special case. I will elaborate more on this later.

• If we monitor the ghost stories all around the world. one thing they have in common, no “hantu susu” is found in England or India and no dracula is found in Kuala Pilah or Tapah :). They are all actually cultural. Meaning, it is created only from stories maybe as a joke or to frighten children for them to be more obedient.

• Some argue that maybe they are called by different name in different places. “Pontianak” may be known as vampire in certain place. Still the origin tales of vampire is different from “pontianak”. In addition, if vampire did kill people, we should be able to see bloodless bodies everywhere every now and then right?

Now, let me tell you what is real. Hm…….  maybe later, I try to keep my post short and simple

————— Personal Note ————————–
FYI, before married, I stayed alone in my house. Quite a big house actually and located about 11km in the estate. A jungle, you know how jungle was supposed to be a very spooky place. I heard lots of ghost stories, some specifically about my house. The funny thing is during my three years staying there, I was never afraid or encounter any spiritual stuff. But whenever I watch ghost movie, I mean the scary one, not the chinese ghost hopping around, I suddenly got goosebump and hearing all sort of things. Only when I watch ghost movie. Funny right?

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