Summary - The correct method of giving advice

Note : The above idiom is roughly translated to “Like pulling hair from a pot of flour, the hair should not snap and the flour should not be a mess.” Generally it means to do something with extra care not to do any damage.

warning is basically a harsher way of advising. So what is the correct way of giving advice?

I’ll explain through a story. One fine day, two boys were at the mosque when they saw an old man perform the ablution (taking the wudhu’). Now these boys were quite knowledgable about wudhu’ and they knew immediately that the way the old man was taking the wudhu’ was wrong. They knew they had to advise him. So what they did was to go to the old man…

Boys - Sir, if we can have your time, the two of us are actually discussing, I’m saying that this boy is taking the wudhu’ wrongly, while he said that I’m the one who do it wrongly. Can you please be the judge of that?

Old man - sure, why not.

The boys each then performed the ablution, each took wudhu’ the correct way. After both of them were finish. The old man embarassingly admitted that their wudhu’ were actually perfect, and that his was the one which is wrong. He understood that the boys were trying to advise him and thanked them for that.

/end story

Giving advise is a good thing to do, it usually will benefit both of the giving and the receiving ends. Sometime the person giving the advice may actually be the one who need to be corrected. However, the method of giving advice is my main objective here.

I believe everyone has pride or ego. Everyone will feel attacked and humiliated if being told that they were wrong. It’s human nature.

We cannot give advice in hidden meaning like the story at all time, sometime (usually) they might not get it.

We just need to consider the person’s ego at all time. Because if not, he might feel offended and throw away the advice blindly out of ego. In the end, nobody will benefit. Isn’t it more important for the person to at least hear the advice and think about it?

Of course there are always exceptions, some people, you just need to give it direct to their face.

Examples of where ego will be affected, children advising their parent to stop smoking, wife advising the husband to help in the house and vice versa, workers advising the boss on how to manage better.

By the way, the story above is actually a true story. And the boys are actually Hassan and Hussin, the grandchildren of Rasulullah

Have you ever given out any advice, brilliantly delivered? Or are there any other methods / examples of giving advice out there that can be shared?

————— Personal Note ————————–
There was one time, my boss drafted a letter, But maybe he was in a hurry, there were a lot of grammar mistake. And this letter is important because it is addressed to the DOSH (department of safety and health). I’m not that good in English but I have no choice. I corrected it and inform him about it after. I said that the letter was placed on my desk, and that I thought he asked me to correct it. He just smiled. And from that time, every letter he drafted goes through me first. (padan muka) heheh

Related Post

• Unbelievably Arrogant
• 5 Mistakes We Did Unknowingly When Shopping
• Ask The Reader-How To Decide Without Hurting Anyone?
• Blog Warming Session
• 4 Uncommon Ways To Escape From Pervert

Summary - Warning given in an accident

Have you had an accident that when you think back, you were actually the luckiest person in the world at the time. Any minor changes in the accident may resulted in you being … well, dead.

Yesterday, there was an accident involving one of my tankers. Leaving the details out, I can say that the driver was very lucky. Any wrong action at the time, he will be dead for sure, plunging into a cliff nearby. The pictures above showed the trailer disconnected from the prime mover (the front part of a tanker). Alhamdulillah the driver was not hurt and all palm oil were recovered. Happy ending.

Back to the topic, I personally have had a lot of near (death) experience. Not that I am seeing the light or anything, like there’s one time, I was driving back from Kedah to Johor. I am very sleepy at the time, suddenly I realised there’s a lorry approximately 100 meter in front of me. I hit the brake immediately and manage to stop exactly behind the lorry. (the lorry was moving very slowly). Shocked, I headed to the nearest RnR and sleep for over two hour there. Apparently I’m down with fever, not any fever - the dengue itself. But that’s another story.

In my opinion, there are two ways you can react to this.

• You will be braver, and eventually become those of Mat Rempit or Tokyo Drift material.

• or you can do this. Imagine that the near miss “fatal” accident is actually a warning given by the Almighty, probably it would sound like this - “If you doesn’t change the way you drive or do things… that exactly what will happen in a day or two. Don’t say I didn’t warn you then.”

Have you guys had such near miss accident? How do you talk yourself out of the trauma? Care to share?

Related Post

• Memories - Spongebob Squarepants
• I Should Apply To Be A Bank Manager…
• The Last Day Before I Become A Father
• The Secret To Being Calm Your Entire Life
• 3 Personal Tips To Become Better Public Speaker

Summary - Wednesday smile

Not all forwarded emails are junk. I actually have a folder in my pc for those interesting ones. The problem about sharing forwarded emails is that most of the time people are already familiar with them. Here’s one I would like to share with you…

Source - Forwarded Emails
Subject - Kids Say the Darnest Things

What Is The Proper Age to Get Married?

“Eighty-four, Because at that age, you don’t have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom.” (Judy,

“Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a wife” (Patrick, 6)

What Do Most People Do On A Date?

“On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.” (Mike, 9)

When Is It Ok To Kiss Someone?

“You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, ’cause she’ll want to have videos of the wedding.” (Jim,10)

“Never kiss in front of other people. It’s a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours.” (Kally, 9)

Is It Better to be Single or Married?

“It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them” (Lynette,9)

“It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid. I don’t need that kind of trouble.” (Kenny, 7)

/end forwarded emails

Do you guys have any experience with your children, when they said the darnest thing?

————— Personal Note ————————–
Do you remember the PETRONAS advertisement for last Hari Raya, where the couple actually hates the grandfather. They even set up another table for him to dine alone. In the final scene, the children play tea, and set up a table for their parent. “Nanti bila mama abah dah tua, mama abah makan sini”, “Abah jangan lupa pakai pampers tau”Funny, how so much we can learn from the children

Related Post

• Any Tips For Hypertension?
• Why Flash Gordon Cannot Finish His Work
• God’s Existence
• Exercise Like Mad, But Still No Result.. Why??
• Ramadhan Tribute #2 - Culture or "Ibadah"

Summary -Don’t forward emails blindly

I again received this forwarded email yesterday. Actually, this has been around for quite a long time, and it is my belief that the email is very dangerous to muslim’s faith and it must stop. I will explain why. I have attached the full version of the email in the Additional Ideas section. (Why? because I want to keep the entry short, I was hoping you read my opinion on the matter first, I don’t want it to be further forwarded… blindly)

However, to sum the email up… There is this person who claim he had seen Rasulullah in his dream, and Rasulullah gave him a few points, asking him to convey them to all muslim around the world. And the emails are followed by a warning, that bad things will happen to those who choose not to forward and that good things will happen to those who did.

My explanation on why the email is very dangerous

• The last “wahyu” from Allah (Surah AlMaidah Ayat 3) generally translates - “Pada Hari ini telah Kusempurnakan untuk kamu agamamu, dan telah Ku cukupkan kepadamu nikmatKu, dan telah Ku redhai Islam itu sebagai cara hidup mu”. Saidina Abu Bakar actually cried after the verse is read. Because he knew that Rasulullah’s responsibility to teach Islam had been completed, and it is a sign that Rasulullah had reached the end of his life.

• So if Rasulullah appeared in the dream of this person, telling him to distribute the message, don’t you think that this shows that his work /responsibility is not yet finished?

• Even when he is still alive, obviously there are people who did not accept his teaching. Does it mention anywhere in the hadis or HOly Quran that these people were doomed with unfortunate events? No… so why is the email if not forwarded will then bring bad luck?

• The major portion of the email is actually describing the fate of those who received the email, whether good or bad. And I believe, those who forwarded it, did so not because he/she wanted to convey the message of Islam, but because of fear of being cursed. Am I right? Is that the foundation of Islamic teaching? “Berdakwah” out of fear or to gain rewards.

Conclusion - Don’t believe everything in emails. Most of the time there are hoaxes. Think first before you forward it to your friends. This particular email, actually is very dangerous to our faith.

Related Post

• Announcement : Pop Quiz :)
• LessonInLife’s First Lucky Draw (Closed)
• Pay Yourself First
• Things You Delightedly Do Anytime Of The Day - Hobby
• Award for Work Excellence

Summary - Tips : Never go to bed angry

First of all, on behalf of my dear wife, I would like to say thank you for all the wishes. All those kind words and wishes are actually prayer (Doa). And we pray to Allah that we will be given the strength for the years to come and the same blessing if not more is given to you.

We are just one year old. Very new if compared to some of you. There’s so much to learn about marriage. And I sincerely hope that maybe you guys can throw in any tips on how to live a happier life as husband n wife.. Tips from bachelors /bachelorettes are also equally welcomed. I have met some of my bachelor friends who actually offered great tips. Maybe you read it somewhere or from your observation of your parents. Do share… however insignificant you may think it is. As for myself, I’ve seen a movie that actually gave a great tips to happy marriage.

Never Go To Bed Angry At Each Other

Argument in a marriage is very common. If you never come across an argument in your marriage, something is very wrong. So why we cannot continue the argument tomorrow? Simply because sleeping is when our subconcious mind works the best. Have you ever wonder about a problem until you sleep, and you found out that you know the solution exactly tomorrow. Or how dreams can actually show your innermost desire and guide you.

Subconcious mind is a very powerful tool. However like any other powerful tools, if used wrongly, it can be very dangerous. You see, if we go to bed, hating each other with the argument unsolved. The mind will start trying to solve the problem. Since the solution actually requires the two of you to sit down and talk, the mind will not be able to solve it. And thus, it will revert to the next method which is to write it down somewhere for the mind to work on another day.

Subconciously your hate and anger to your spouse will be recorded, and accumulate with more arguments. It will be no surprise, if one day, the both of you will see that there is no more love, only hate. Which is why you should never go to bed angry at each other. Solve everything before hand

If you know any other tips, do share ya. Let’s learn from each other.

Related Post

• Announcement : Pop Quiz :)
• 5 Scenarios Where Procrastination Is A Must
• 10 Doable Steps To Have 27 Hours Per Day
• Or You Can Do This (Part 2/3)
• How To "Forget" and Move On