Meminang

Summary – Help needed & the story of my engagement

In exactly one month from now (just after Aidiladha), I will have to do something I’ve never done before. I will lead my family and talk on their behalf for my brother’s engagement. In a simpler word – “Meminang”. It’s an honour bro..

Like all other first time things, I have no idea as to what to say or do. I know that this is all just for the sake of formality. The engagement has received green light from both families. Even if I said “Assalamualaikum, so kira jadilah ye? Bye”, the engagement will still be on (No worry brother, I’m not going to say that :) )

Public speaking has never been a problem for me, it’s just that I still have some time to prepare for the speech, so why not ask my elite consultants (Which is you) for some advice or tips. Any scripts or dialogue structure (for example, first greeting, then talk about the weather then the talk) I should follow?

Which reminds me of the chaotic story of my engagement :)

————— Personal Note ————–
I’m not so sure about you guys, but my family is quite strict about one thing during engagement. That the groom-to-be must not attend the discussion. I have no problem either way.. but since it’s what the family wants (Now I feel like I’m in some Godfather movie), I better abide by them.

So while they were discussing about my engagement and the details of the wedding, there was I in my car, a few hundred meters away from my fiance’s (the mrs) house.

The thing is the mrs’ family actually wanted to see me. All her uncles and aunts actually were there just to see who will be the new addition to their family. The mrs kept calling me on the phone asking me to come over. What should I do? I was so torn up right then… and it worsen with filantera coming over asking me to join them. He said, my soon-to-be father in law specifically ask me to join them. Can you see the dilemma?

And that’s not even the worse part, I actually was just wearing a plain old tshirt. Now what if they all suddenly come out and see me. That’s not going to be a very good first impression now would it?

I then kidnapped my brother (asking him to follow me) and we went to this “bundle” shop (A shop selling used clothes). After searching.. I found a nice shirt (“kemeja”) and bought it. Time’s running up and filantera was getting hungrily crankier because he cannot enjoy the feast. Then I went to search for a laundry and get the shirt ironed.

When I get back, apparently the discussion and the feast were over. My family was actually waiting for me. The mrs was frustrated of course, not able to introduce me to the family. but accepted my excuse of going to buy the shirt. (She will read this tomorrow.. hehe no problem, married her already) and I managed to abide by that tradition imposed.

Personally, I don’t see any reason why the groom shouldn’t be in the discussion. At least give him something to eat.. right?

A clear example of “telan mati emak, luah mati bapak, go buy a shirt from bundle shop then,” :)

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This post has 8 comments.


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  1. 24 Nov 07 1:40 am

    Aiyooo..my famili lom ade yg nak btunang2 or kawin since there’s only 2 of us..me and my sist..My sist..adoi..ulat buku…me myself org ckp ulat bulu..ape tak nya..dah byk collection but my sist…none(tak pernah bercinta)..Agagagaga..hope u paham what’s the collection is..bkn la collection..it’s a rude word 2 use..byk ex² la..but nak bt camna..tarak jodoh kan..tgu je la..agagagaga…

    As for the engagement thing..my family same as u la..Kekonon masa nak meminang iteww..lelaki itew tak leh dgr perbincangan..only after majlis selesai then lelaki itew leh pijak rmh pmpn..Walaupun dlm famili i lom ade yg lalui proses ini(meaning me & my sist) i tau bab kan lam tv selalu ade je tercongok lelaki itewww duduk tersipu2 mcm pmpn..my mum selalu bising..ape ni..lelaki itew tak harus ade di situ..klo nak dtg..dok lam keta..bermeter² jauh..dah selesai br dtg..Agagagaga

    I actually tak tau ape tujuan tak leh dtg itew..tapi i tak kisah la..dia ade ke..tarak ke..janji dah selesai tunang..kawin..Agagagaga..klo nak saksikan upacara menyarungkan cincin..i nak upah cameraman..tangkap video..Agagaga..berangan..jauh lagi saat2 iteww..agagaga..

    Mrs. baca ek ur blog…Nak say hi..”Hi Mrs..,how are u??Kandungan ok?? :)”

  2. 24 Nov 07 9:11 am

    heheheh… n all the other story bout the to’kadi with the henpon… huhuuuu… quite a story to tell …
    although i really hope all go well during mine… there will be a story to tell bout the whole day …
    just hope it’s a good story to laugh about

  3. 24 Nov 07 12:15 pm

    as a simple person and and not comfortable with all the traditional or formality (yes, i ni jenis takleh bawa majlis) seriously i will faint if somebody ask me to be in charge in any feast like this. Don’t know what happen to me if my time come, and i have to face it.

    the thing that i know, i had make a damage on my sister engagement feast, I just wore a plain t-shirt with Hawaii short, i am just 14 or 15 on that time. We still have the photo..haha.

    But i think..you will just okay, I think in charge in this thing is just an easy thing for you. Good luck, bro.

  4. banji
    24 Nov 07 1:58 pm

    aRa – baru le tahu skrg.. adik ulat buku ialah ulat bulu huhu heheh. takpe hal2 jodoh ni takleh nak komen sgt. apa yg kita boleh buat hanyalah merancang dan berusaha, jadi tak jadi.. up to him, actually bukan jodoh je, semua benda sebenar nya :)

    sama ye family kita. agaknya dulu belajar satu perguruan kita nih. hm still sampai skrg tak berapa nak faham hikmahnya, mungkin nak bagi tak malu lelaki kut kalau peminangan ditolak. ataupun pertunangan ni lebih kepada dua family nak kenal each other. ntah lah.

    The mrs mmg tiap2 hari baca blog ni :) tapi dia chose to be silent reader only…

    nanti kalau ada apa2 news dari rumah ara (majlis kawin ke), jgn lupa jemput… (muka tak malu hihi)

  5. banji
    24 Nov 07 2:01 pm

    DaPocket – cite lain2 tu nanti2 kite cite. kadang2 bila tengok balik apa yg berlaku, sebijik mcm cerita drama kan? tapi mungkin sebab berlaku kat hidung kita sendiri tu yg jadi interesting tu.

    InsyaAllah, urs akan jadi terurus. tapi pengalaman mengajar kita, rancanglah apa pun… apa nak jadi dia jadi jugak heheh

    can’t wait…

  6. banji
    24 Nov 07 2:06 pm

    Amirahsyuhada – jgn risau.. bila tiba masanya, semua akan fall into its places just nicely. semua akan berjalan lancar. sy sendiri gelabah tuhan saja yg tahu, tapi dek kerana satu peristiwa… terus jadi berani tak bersebab.. but that’s another story lah hehe

    the photo must be priceless now, a formal well organized feast will never be the talk of a gathering. but when u showed up with ur hawaiian short, im sure… your family will have a good laugh whenever talking back about the old memories… u actually make the feast memorable :)

    InsyaAllah, I’m sure I will do my best for my brother here :) thanx

  7. 24 Nov 07 5:50 pm

    Congrats to DaPocket!

    Hehe. Yea la i dun understand why the fiancee cnt join in. InsyaAllah mine will be next year when i’m home again and i’m thinkin of gettin him a ring too, n ask my dad to put it on to his finger.. 😀 😀 Of coz he has to wear baju melayu same kaler with me! Or engagement’s out! Lol.
    He made a pantun but unfor it rhymes with my name, so cant go with ur majlis. Unless the Da Pocket’s soon to be fiance’s name is Intan. Haha..
    Neway, buat lah pantun2. Yang berbunga2. The girl mesti suka :-D. Or direct pun takpe, tak pening kpale nk balas2. Hehe. I’m sure you will do great too Banji!

    Share the story later ye. 😉

  8. banji
    25 Nov 07 9:11 am

    intan – let me be the first to congrats u then… :) and I pray all the best to you,

    a pantun.. hm my highest achievement in pantun is just a representative of my class back in high school. And even then I was slaughtered hahah So I wouldn’t boast on it heheh anyway, thanx for the idea. still need to remember one or two right, just for emergency use only

    I will definitely share the story here…. :) with pictures

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