Summary – The secret of happiness is “Both of you”

So why do you think married couple cheat on each other like previous joke? The first thing that come to my mind is that they are not happy. Do you agree? Yes, I know that there are thousands of reason why a couple cheat: culture, not educated, lust etc etc. But I strongly believe that not being happy is one of the major factor.

So how can we have a happy relationship? This is secret to happiness, but there is one condition to reading it. It must be read by both parties.. the husband and the wife, the boyfriend and the girlfriend. If you can’t tie him to the chair forcing him to read this, you can just email it to him later πŸ™‚

The secret is – You put your partner’s happiness first before you (Both of you).

As simple as it is, this will need both of you to practise it for it to work. You see, when we are single, we always take care of ourself. If we are hungry, we cook and eat, if we are happy, we smile to nothingness. So logically when we are attached to someone, we want that alone life to change, right? Before we are hungry, our better half already asked or order food. If we are sad, he/she will comfort us.

I mean, how would you feel when it’s raining outside and you’re hungry, and there’s no food, when suddenly your doorbell rang and it was your boyfriend soaking wet with a burger or “nasi lemak” in hand. You were not even asking. (I think this incident is from a novel that the mrs have me read hehe)

That is happiness. the feeling when you know that someone is looking after you, taking every possible opportunity to make you smile and comfy. Wait for you to eat together. Give up the chicken wing just because he know you love chicken wing.

And now imagine both of you are doing the same thing. How can you not be happy then. Remember.. the secret lies in the word “Both of you”.

What do you think? Do you agree?

—————– Personal Note ——————-
I dedicated the entry to my soon-to-be-married bro. πŸ™‚ I wish all the best with you. Trust me, it’s going to be a tough road ahead. So many unknown things, and the worse part is you are not going to find the solution in blogs or books. You will just have to equip yourself with knowledge, and start from there to solve everyday’s problem.

However, knowing how resourceful you are.. I’m not at all worried, you will do just fine bro πŸ™‚ happy planning the wedding!

Don't want to miss a single tip? Get updates via RSS (Full) or Email

Appreciated action :

This post has 16 comments.

Pictures & Avatar next to all comments are courtesy of Gravatar
  1. 26 Nov 07 4:11 am


    We all need a person in our life, who can be our mother, even if we are eighty years old. Who can understand that we need care. We wish to be pampered. We want someone to take our face in lap and comfort us. Yes, we can deny all this, but we need someone who cares for us….thus in a relationship, we need our spouse to care for us, and it’s vice versa….that is happiness!!..

  2. 26 Nov 07 7:13 am

    have to agree on putting the partners happines upfront.
    n have to agree on both parties have to do it

    or else…it’ll be me pleasing u n my pleasure? is ditched down the drain πŸ˜€ hahahah…

  3. 26 Nov 07 11:29 am


    “You put your partner’s happiness first before you (Both of you).”

    Quoted for truth, mate.

    I have been in a relationship for more than 3 years.
    (both of us are preparing ourselves for the next stage, i.e. marriage)

    At first, our relationship was full of quarrels, fights, bickering etc over tiny matters.

    Now, my wild temper is more or less domesticated, though sometimes sudden short outburst still occur, luckily I manage to realize my error very quickly.

    Always remind myself, why do I woo her in the first place? Because I like her, love her. If I like her, love her. I would want her to be happy. She would not be happy if I piss her off, unintentionally, or intentionally.

    With that in mind, the volume of senseless fights between us reduced drastically.

    By the way, Congrats to your bro!

  4. 26 Nov 07 12:36 pm

    Aiyooo…i have to read this alone..but if somehow “that guy” appear in my life..i’ll make sure he…and also me..tercongok depan pc reading ur entry..this entry..Agagaga..Seriously…

    Marriage..don’t playΒ² bak kata Phu Chu Kang..Agagagaga..It would be a big change in life..Hurmm..takut lak…Agagagaga..

  5. 26 Nov 07 2:22 pm

    banji untuk org single takde ke.. πŸ™‚ iskk..iskk..

  6. 26 Nov 07 5:24 pm

    noushy syah – we definitely need that person, being alone will drive us to the edge, like what happened to tom hank in “Cast Away”. It will be no difference between stranded on an island and being alone in a populated place. and like you accurately put it, we wish to be pampered once a while. We may look tough and all but deep down, that’s exactly what we yearn for πŸ™‚

  7. 26 Nov 07 5:28 pm

    DaPocket – hehe it will be very disappointing when you’re going all out with the pampering, but she left you dry.. the thing is… if she really is that kind of person, you will have to come up with another method.. no problem

    but if she actually misunderstood, and is assuming you don’t like to be pampered.. (which of course u do) then things can go horribly wrong. That’s why certain things need to be crystal clear upfront πŸ™‚

    Assumption is a bad thing in a relationship

  8. 26 Nov 07 5:35 pm

    Deimos Tel`Arin – good job. thats a very good way of maintaining a relationship. Sometimes we must put ego aside, and prioritize on maintaining the relationship first. This is very hard to do.. so well done.

    I must inform you though that the difference in opinion is not going to be any lesser especially when you are married. Only then you will see her true color and she will see yours. There will be arguing (I wouldnt say fight), and you will have to come up with varieties of ways to avoid them, or at least handle them…

    In the end… it all boils down to how much you love her πŸ™‚

  9. 26 Nov 07 5:43 pm

    aRa – heheh by that time, most probably I will come up with a book or something πŸ™‚ (you don’t need to switch on ur pc) huhu

    Anyway, sometimes it is good to be afraid of marriage. Because then we will have the drive to learn as much as possible about it, and being an anxious knowledgable bride is always better than a brave clueless bride. πŸ™‚

  10. 26 Nov 07 5:45 pm

    tic – utk org single… hehe idea yg menarik, akan diusahakan πŸ™‚ soalan yg mencabar.. mcm mana nak describe happiness pada yg masih single, tanpa memburukkan marriage life… hmm (my mind is racing) hehe

  11. 26 Nov 07 7:21 pm

    Banji..if u already come up with a book..Can i have 1 with ur signature for free??Agagagaga..

    Yeah…agree ngan tic..ni org single menyingle pun nak tau gak..Yo la..kena lak i slalu blur2 kan..Agagagaga

  12. 26 Nov 07 9:41 pm

    For free tu tak tau la… but i think regardless of me being his most handsome brother… i’d still be in the line to get his first edition πŸ˜€
    even though he can always give me a copy during Hari Raya or something…

    i’d have to say putting people’s happiness upfront is quite a hard thing to do…
    its like
    u have fifty cents…
    she have fifty cents…
    both wanna have the thumb size candy which cost sixty cents…
    u give her the ten cents…
    n u wont be able to buy the candy
    u dont give her the ten cents…
    both wont have the candy.
    give it to her instead?

    i want candy tooooo….. ^^;

  13. 26 Nov 07 11:43 pm

    DaPocket…Interesting…abt the candy la..Agagagaga..
    Why don’t u share it??2 pun klo tak kisah ade air liur ar..Agagagaga..Saw Britney did that..Agagaga..See..usually,when u love someone,tak salah sharing kan..anyhow,she’s the one u love rite!!!

  14. banji
    27 Nov 07 12:26 am

    aRa & Pocket – I’m just joking about writing a book. There’s still SO many things to learn, grammar, language etc. But yes I do have a few idea on what to write πŸ™‚

    aRa – entry tentang happiness for single people.. coming right up πŸ™‚

  15. banji
    27 Nov 07 12:28 am

    DaPocket – According to this entry, both of you will insist to give all respective’s fifty cents, but since on 30 cents each is required, both of you will agree to give that 30 cents away..

    then you bought the candy, and instead of eating them, both of you insist that the other should eat it. You are just saying that you want it. She will also do the same, asking you to have it.. In the end, the candy is never eaten and both of you will smile looking at the candy 40 years later πŸ™‚

    that scenario should explain the entry hehe

  16. […] A fellow Malaysian Blogger who goes by the name – banji also shared his views about living a happy life with your significant other, as highlighted in his post in the following linkie: http://lessoninlife.com/2007/11/26/secret-of-happiness-to-be-read-by-couples/ […]

banji Read LessonInLife.com In Your Email

Please enter your email address
    Unconventional Guides
    Advertise here
    Handbook for Life