One of the very best example of LOVE and MARRIAGE. I have asked lot of people about the MARRIAGE, but no one can give me the answer which, I feel, relevant.

Thank you so much.

Let me first answer your last question. The whole idea of the article is to show that we can learn everything that is offered by life via experience etc to make better decision and ultimately become wiser. I can totally change the story to make the student go in the market in search for a spouse instead of food. It will make no difference. We can still extract the same lesson. I just thought buying food is a more interesting approach

While I agree that love is very subjective, and every story is different from another, I’m still a believer that there is no harm in learning from other’s mistakes or experience. You cannot apply every single lesson you just learnt but it will help you make better decision in your life.

For me, we cannot find love by research, or by people’s experience.
Love is very subjective.
Love find us.
Our love story never identical with other love story.
When you fall in love with some one, no matter what he/she is….even she/he is not rich,pretty,smart or not from religous background….you will still say you love even the whole world against you, right..
When come to marriage….this is the field that will test your love.
Is it really love or just attraction to opposite gender or just attraction to what she/he have like beauty,rich,intelligent or religious.You will find the answer….

Ask yourself, is it a ‘mistake’ when you find your beloved spouse not same as what you expect?

Banji, is it a great idea to compare between buying food and choosing spouse?

Forgiveness is one of the most difficult thing to do. And those who can actually forgive is really an amazing person. In paper, everything seems like they are forgivable things. But when certain things happen to us, I’m not so sure we will be that forgiving.

That is why it is always a good practice to draw a line what can be forgiven, and what will never be forgiven. When such line is drawn, usually we will be easier to forgive any other things as long as they are not the unforgiven things. Am I making sense here?

Fun-da-mental – That is the ultimate question now, isn’t it? How to identify that one person?

There are two methods that straight come to mind.

1) You will have to learn the hard way. Missing a few opportunities so that you will be wiser. With that extra experience, you will know better what you really want in a partner. And of course what you must avoid in the future.

2) You can choose to be more careful the first time. Research what you really want based on other people’s experience. Learn from them a point or two. Why repeat the same mistakes right? And when you have all your datas straight, you can start strategize on what will you do with your option.

Just my 2 cents, anybody else has an idea on how to find love the first time?

I have always been a believer that “The One” is actually everyone. When we really love that someone, no flaw is too big, everything is acceptable (almost). Using this principle as a base, you will start seeing everyone for what they are.. Special.

About the kebab scenario, I think the nicer word for that will be standard. We set our own standard, and everybody is entitled to have their own standard. Some people may only want rich spouse, another requires religious background. Unfortunately for that person buying kebab in your example, his standard is graphically referring to previous chances he missed. What do you think?

@k@kPOKPEK – Very true.. Love itself is sometimes not enough. We need to fortify it with compromise, devotion etc.

The most important thing is that the foundation of love must be rock solid. For muslim, we are encourage to find love based on religious factor. Another may find love based on attitude.
If the initial foundation of love itself is a fragile lust, it will collapse real soon exactly like you said.

Your next comment is equally interesting. We buy food hoping that it is the best, however, who knows the food is not even edible.

For me, the quest to know ourself will really take a lifetime to complete. Even then we might not know what we really want in life. That is why we cannot expect to know everyone completely. Love and marriage will always be a process for us to know each other and adapt to each other. What we can do, is to use certain criteria to guide us make the choice and learn to adapt with the choice we made.

For example, a man may want a spouse that is both religious and smart. He will then choose a woman to be his wife. Who can really tell whether or not the woman is really religious and smart. He has made his choice, he must learn to adapt.

Hmm, this is a very impressive statement, but there is then a huge problem… How to ever find love in the here and now…? It will ever be too late otherwise….realizing it years after it happened….

Everyone keep smiling,
gale

And the food you thought was so delicious that made you want to buy it and later when you reach home and have a taste, only then you realize the food was not even close to be called tasty. Hmmm.. have we all not being blinded by the look once (or twice)??