Archive for the ‘Dealing With Emotion’ Category

Summary – WARNING : one of the hardest thing to do in life

The Scenario

Imagine you are in a room. Guess what, there’s a bomb in the room next door and that bomb will only starts to countdown when you enter the room. To make things more interesting, you are a bomb expert, and if anyone can disarm that bomb, it would be you.

What would you do?

The bomb will only tick when someone enters that room. You can be evil by ignoring it, and it’s someone else’s problem. Or you can lock the door to the next room, and finish what ever your business is in this first room (taking your time).

If you choose the latter option, which is taking your time. Will you be worried about the bomb next door? The room is locked, and the bomb is not ticking yet. Why should you be worry?

This is actually the secret to being calm. Which is to live now. Not in the future or in the past, but now.

The Past Person

Some people like to live in the past. They may have done something good, or bad in their past, and they really love to think about that. For example, a man may have received so many rejection from girls that he now doesn’t have any confident to speak to girl. A lot has change to this guy, he may have good job, with good money. His behavior also may have changed to better, but still his mindset is in the past. He still prefer to think about all the rejection he had and thus fail to live in the now.

The Future Person

Another set of people, like to live in the future. They worry too much about their life. What will happen if they didn’t have enough money for retirement? or if there is an accident? Or what if their teenagers rebel and join a cult.

Now this is a tricky one. Don’t stop thinking about the future. But try to differentiate between planning for the future and worrying about the future. Take the retirement issue for example. He can worry all day long, but still he can’t do anything about it. Unless of course he can find an extra one million that day. What he need to do, is to plan how much is enough, and try to work in reverse on how to achieve that amount. As long as he stick to his plan, he shouldn’t be worry at all.

The Now Person

Live in the now. Coming back to the bomb disarmer in the room. What he should do is to take his time, watch some movie, or order some Burger King. Enjoy his “now”. But in the same time, prepare all his tool for the bomb, and maybe brush up his knowledge on the most recent bomb cases. That’s planning.

He should open the door only when he’s ready. And at that time, only focus about disarming the bomb. Nothing else. He shouldn’t be thinking about the movie he just watched or the burger he just ate. Just the bomb.

Don’t you think he is a very calm man?

– I wonder –
Which are you, a past person or a future person?

——— Personal Note ———-
I must admit, I am a past kind of person. I like to linger my mind to the past. My reason is so that I will not forget all the memories since all of them are that precious to me. In my opinion, doing this sometimes is OK. Just don’t let any of the past experience affect you.

Don’t you agree that living in the now is very hard to do?

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Glass of Water

Summary – The Glass of Water Theory

In a lecture on stress management, the lecturer picked up a glass of water and asked his student “How much this water weigh?”. One student estimated the weight to be about 500g.

The lecturer then asked “Do you think you can hold the glass of water with your hand stretched?”. The students replied “Easily.”With a smile, the lecturer continues “The truth is, it is really easy to hold that glass of water. But what will happen if you hold that glass for an hour? Your hand will start to feel pain. What will happen after a day of holding the glass of water? you may pass out from the pain.”

“The same goes to stress. Most people can handle their own stress. When you work, you are given a lot of work to do, problem to solve, and other stress. Being your job, you will always be able to handle it.”

“But what will happen if you keep carrying that stress on your shoulder even after work? What will happen if you keep bringing your work and problem home? and what will happen if you sleep every night thinking about your unfinished work?”

“You will collapse eventually”

“So always leave your burden and stress periodically. Leave your work at your workplace. Don’t bring it home. Pick it up tomorrow when you’re there and you can do something about it. You can’t do much about it at home. So why bother. Your stress and burden will then be more bearable and easier to manage.”

So guys.. Enjoy your Sunday ๐Ÿ™‚

Photoย Creditย :ย flickrPrince

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Lucky Draw Update – God’s Slave has increased her chance of winning by posting about the contest in her blog. She received 22 entries.. You can do the same and thus increasing your chance of winning ๐Ÿ™‚


Summary – 6 sure tricks to overcome fear

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice,

“Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?”

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t dear,” she said. “I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.”

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: “The big sissy.”


๐Ÿ™‚ I love the joke. Just love how simple the mind of children can be.

I still remember that there was time when I was still children that I’m terrified of the sound of thunder. And the fact that my parent switched off the television just make it harder to ignore ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m not sure how, but over time, I seem to lose that fear. It makes me wonder though, how can we overcome our fear?

1) Knowledge
This is what I think destroy my fear entirely. I may have learnt more about lightning and thunder and understand that the sound of thunder is actually just loud noise. No danger there. And that if you can hear the sound, means you are still alive and safe.

When you know how to swim, your fear of water will slowly fade away. It will help if you actually enjoy swimming.

2) Check what starts the fear
Some fear start at the subconscious level. Maybe you are afraid of height because once in your childhood you’ve fallen from a tree. You may not remember the incident, but the fear of height has developed from it.

All you need to do now, is to try to trace back the exact root of your fear. The more we know about it, the more ready we will be to overcome it.

3) Face it one small step at a time
This is one of the most important step in overcoming you fear. We can say we are no longer afraid of spider, but there’s no point when there is one and we just walk away. Face the fear.

Maybe we can try this, find a dead spider first. Take it in our hand and examine it for a while. That shouldn’t be a problem right? Later maybe we can try with live small ones,

The change must be gradual. Don’t overwhelm yourself with Tarantula or Spiderman just yet ๐Ÿ™‚

4) Get help from friends
There must be at least one friend of yours who doesn’t share the same fear. Get help from them. For example, you are afraid of computers (which is ironic, since you will not be able to read this if you are). Have the friend at your side while you swith one on.

5) Just throw the fear away
What would you do if you are afraid to see blood, but there is an accident happening right in front of you. Do you walk away?

No, you shouldn’t. What you should do (besides calling for ambulance) is to throw that fear away for a while. People may be dying there, and you worry about some blood?

6) Ask – can you die?
Some fear is very ridiculous. Like fear of birds. Just ask yourself, can you actually die if a bird peck you? There’s never an incident recorded from history of people killed by a bird. So why then are we afraid?

This is actually a good mantra to repeat when you are overcoming your fear. “The worst case scenario is I die, and there’s no way I’m going to die from this”

Conclusion – We may be content with our fear, but why living with one? overcome them and be a better you.

– I wonder –
What’s your fear?

———– Personal Note ———–
One of my fear was needle. I’m stressing the word WAS. But one time, I was diagnosed with a dengue fever and admitted to ward. There, they poked me with needles so many times that I lost count. That time on, I am no longer afraid of needle ๐Ÿ™‚

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Summary – Never base your decision on emotion

Let’s assume you found a wallet. Inside there’s about $1000 and an identity card. You will be able to return the wallet to the owner with the address attached to the identity card.

There’s a catch anyway. You actually knew the owner. The owner is actually one of your sworn nemesis or enemy. He is an actual bad person, always calling you names, and always hurt your feeling by making fun of you.

Will you still return the wallet to your enemy?

The right thing to do is of course to return the wallet to the owner, irregardless of how bad he is. That’s the way we actually have to practice.

When given a choice, always do the right thing and never let emotion cloud your mind.

Today, here in Malaysia, everyone is talking about one thing – The General Election. For those who votes, you will be facing choices, between two or more opposing political parties. What ever your choice will be, please do one thing.

Never let emotion lead your decision. You by now should have your principle on the matter. Follow that principles.

People will always be people. They will annoy other people, and talk behind everyone’s back about other people. Usually on the bad side of things. Why should you let this interfere with your judgment? Discard these gossips and make the right choice based on your principles.

Come to think of it, even though there is no election going on, we should never base our decision on emotion. Don’t you think?

——— Personal Note ———
I will be heading back to Kuala Lumpur immediately after I cast my vote. Tomorrow I will start working and apparently a lot of projects to oversee.

For my Malaysian friends, happy voting!

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