Archive for the ‘Dealing With Emotion’ Category

Summary – How to be happy when you are single?

Yesterday, I wrote an entry on the secret to be happy in a relationship. Ms Tic and Ms aRa had requested a post on how single people too can be happy. I find this quite challenging since, there is no way I can highlight the happiness of being single, without indirectly saying that being in a relationship is less happy.

That is why I’m not going to go through that route. 🙂 In fact the answer to the question is quite simple. As I previously clarified, the happiness for a couple in a relationship is when they are happy with each other. Logically, the happiness for a single (not in a relationship) person will depend on how happy he is with himself.

We can list down the many tips to become happy, but the truth is as long as we’re not happy with our own self, we will never be truly happy.

Aha! now the big question.. how exactly can we be happy with our own self? the answer to this question go beyond the scope of “single” person. Maybe these points will help.

1) Appearance

I know it’s very classic. But some people still feel ugly when looking in the mirror. Now I cannot solve this issue in one paragraph. That will require a whole book or something :). But in short, we feel ugly because basically we want acceptance from people around us. That’s where we are wrong. To hell with those people! We have no control of our appearance (most of them). It is a gift created by Allah, and if people can’t accept it, that is between them and Him. And boy.. you don’t want to argue with Him. Accept that.. and start enjoying life.

2) Life

Another very wide factor. You are not happy with your life, they are very predictable and it seems that there is no future. “Future is never there to be lived, it has to be made” – My very own quote 🙂

I know that sometimes life can be so unfair. You worked so hard to get a promotion when other lazy people is getting it. Definitely not fair… So what do you want to do about it? Quit your job? Go speak to your manager? Any action is good. why? because you are shaping your future yourself. Now the problem is when you didn’t do anything about your life and just complain.

I believe you will find my entry on the donkey interesting

3) Relationship

Everytime I wrote the points, I was actually saying “My god! such a broad topic” 🙂 I guess the key point when talking about relationship is that, “we do what we can.. and if that person choose not to be friend with us, so be it.” Everyone like to have friends, Me especially.. But what can we do if that one person just don’t have the desire to be a friend. Their mind are theirs to control, not ours.

/end list

I chose the three major factors that may influence the happiness of a person. I’m sure you will be able to list down the remaining factors. It is important to know that, these factors are never meant for “single” people. They are actually intended to all of us.

I hope as basic as it is, the guide will help shed some lights to us. Do tell, are you currently happy with yourself? If not, what is it about you that you are not happy?

Conclusion – To be happy, we must be happy. Start by accepting our appearance (strength and flaw), Work on our life and lesser thinking of other people’s opinion on you.

—————- Personal Note —————–
I love the donkey story. Somehow it stuck in my mind anytime shit happens 🙂 Definitely helps..

Another good way to be happier with yourself is actually to ask for it. Ask from Allah to be happier. InsyaAllah things will start getting easier in life.. See you guys tomorrow!

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Summary – Dendang Perantau

Yesterday my leave started, and I’m smiling all the way. Because I don’t have to think about work for the next 9 days or so. Not that working is no fun.. (in the case my manager read this), no seriously I enjoy my work (most of the time). But after a while, we just need to get away from it all.

I’m even happier with all this Aidilfitri celebration coming. But truthfully this is my first time not celebrating Aidilfitri with my family in Kedah. This year it will be here in Selangor. As you would probably know, my wife is now in her first trimester. And according to the doctor, she is not recommended to fly during this period.

I believe, every one will have that sad emotion when they cannot go back home for Aidilfitri right?

The funny thing about sadness, is that usually if we look closely, it is almost always comes in pairs. When there is sadness, there is happiness. Here what I found…

» Read the rest of the entry..

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Summary – Tips to go from sad to happy

So what do you do to be happy back after being sad? It’s Wednesday.. and in here, we’re supposed to be happy on Wednesday :)I was walking around the mill, and come up with these 10 steps on how to be happy. I know I will…. How about you? Do you find they will work?

1) Let all our sadness out. Mourn is the better word. When we are sad… just be sad, cry if you want. But before all that, make a deal with yourself. That you can cry and be sad for as long as you want, but when you’re done, you’re done. No more sadness. (of course don’t talk to yourself in public… people will get the wrong impression eheh)

2) Watch a sadder movie. This is a trick I always found useful. If you were broke, with no money.. just watch “Bersamamu” on TV3 and see poorer condition. You will immediately feel so much better. When life sometimes is very harsh on you… just know that they are more unfortunate people out there.

3) Do what ever things that make you happy. I don’t know about you, but as for now… surfing blogs and writing seems to make me smile 🙂 So that’s what I’m doing now. Can I ask? What things make you happy?

4) Remember the last time you’re happy.. I mean really happy. The kind of happiness that when you think of it, you immediately smile and laugh. (well a smile will do). For me… I just simply remembered the time when my brothers and I played our daily game of “Main-main” when we were kids. We created this imaginative game ourselves. All three of us, would pick a super power and played the character. hehe I’m sure you have your own happy memory that’s just as interesting.

5) Watch kids. I always laughed when I babysit them. Sometimes, if I’m lucky enough.. I will be able to record those funny act from them. FYI America’s Funniest Home Video is my all time favorite, especially the children videos 🙂

6) Share your happiness with friends. Make this a practice. whenever you’re happy.. share them with friends. Happiness is very infectious. So who knows you’re actually the person who brought happiness to that friend of yours.

7) To offer other people a smile or touch them with your positive values. People will feel appreciated and happy. Knowing that you make someone else happy is usually what make us happy. – Contributed by Noushy,

8] Take a deep breath and smile. Not for anyone else, but for yourself. It has to start somewhere… and a smile is a great way to start. – Contributed by filantera

9) Do nothing. If you are actually saddened by a problem, and you’ve tried everything but to no avail. Maybe the best option is to let it go.. a do-nothing approach – Contributed by Azuwachan

10) Make others happy. Like charity work, surprise a friend or help our friends in need. Usually we are what we are surrounded with. Happy environment will definitely makes a happier you – Contributed by Syahidatul

11) Play with cats or other pets. It has been researched and proven that physical contact with pets is very stress relieving. Of course by physical contact means treating them well.. not hitting them or anything. – Contributed by Syahidatul

12) Dance. Dancing is actually how our body express itself, usually to the mood we are having. By dancing when you are sad, it is just another way of letting it all go. And you will definitely feel better – Contributed by aRa

13) Smile and have people smile at you back. This is really satisfying especially when you just help them with a favor. – Contributed by diha

/end list

I’m sure we all have our own way to be happier. Care to share yours.. They will be updated in the post by the end of the day 🙂

* Thanx to my friends, I’ve compiled their suggestions in the list. 🙂 A more detailed explanation is available in the comment section. Feel free to browse them

————–Personal Note————-
🙂 Remember tips no 6, to share your happiness? This is mine… Few days ago, the mrs and I went to the clinic. And the doctor had confirmed that my wife is now pregnant!!!! 🙂 YAYYYYYYY I’m so happy I literally jumped and almost did my happy dance. I actually did but at home la haha.
I pray to Allah that the mrs and the baby are both healthy 🙂 I just can’t stop smiling….. 🙂

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Voice out

Summary – The three factors of deciding whether you are entitled to voice out your opinion.

A good friend of mine, Ms Intan had previously asked my opinion on a subject which is “When to give advice?”. Well this is what I think.

The ground rule is you should always give advice. Giving advice is basically another words for voicing your opinion or to remind. In fact I remember there’s a saying in Islam, Do remind each other, as reminding each other is beneficial to mukminin.

However as always, there will be few factors one need to consider before giving any advice.

Factor 1 – The Person Giving

  • Must be very sure of the advice. Don’t advise anyone to walk in the dark, when you are not sure where the cliff is
  • It is always better if the giver practise the advice first before advising others. However we must know that the advice will always be more important than the giver. A drug addict advises us not to use drug is a good advice. And we should take it irregardless of the giver condition.

Factor 2 – The Person Receiving

  • If the person ask for advice then it is almost an obligation for you to help. Who else will help?
  • However if the person clearly say no advice needed. we should know what to do. Some people prefer to settle their problem their way, and this is a good quality.
  • Sometime pople asked for help, but when we offered the help or advice it’s like “curahkan air kedaun keladi”. He expect us to agree and back him up. Truthfully, I always get annoyed with this people. And I usually just back away.

Factor 3 – The Advice

  • It is very important that you believe your advice is beneficial or at least better. Friend A is giving advice to B about how smoking will make him look more cool. Obviously you disagree, (advice against smoking is always better).. it would be wrong if you don’t stated your stand there.
  • The advice must be beneficial to the receiving person, not to you. For example, your best friend has a crush on a girl, and he asked for your advice. once you see the girl, you decided to sabotage this friend of yours so that you will have better chance with her. you then advise your friend to run her with a motorcycle… that’s wouldn’t just be non-ethical… that’s plain evil.

I’m sure there’s a lot more we can add to this rule. Anything else that I missed? please help add in.

Conclusion – the rule of thumb when you are not sure is to think with both your heart and mind. you usually will already KNOW the answer.

————–Personal Note————-
There are millions of reason why we should not interfere. But how do we live our life when we see a child learning to smoke in front of us.. and all we do is look the other way. Aren’t we all related?

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