Archive for the ‘Dealing With Emotion’ Category

Summary – What you should NOT do when people hurt you

This entry is actually dedicated to a friend of mine. Hopefully it will be of use to all of us, especially me.

When people hurt your feeling, calling you names, what would you feel. Definitely rock bottom down. Well, we are human, and it would be very weird if you don’t feel a thing. “Why do people have to say such things?” I can very well say that each of us have or will meet this type of people in our life. The type of people who joke around by hurting other people. And when we say that that is just cruel, they insist that they were just joking. and that we should have sense of humor. The funny thing is, when the joke is on them, they are not that humorous at all.

Don’t we all knew this type of people at least once in our life?

What should we do? I don’t exactly know. Everyone had their own way of dealing with them. But I know exactly what we shouldn’t do…

1) Never run away from them

There will be millions of people like this around the world. Yes, believe me… if you think he is bad, you ain’t seeing anything just yet. There are people even worse and they are all around us. If you give in and run away from the first person, I can assure you lots more will be heading your way. and you will spend your life running.

So be strong. do your very own research on how to deal with him. Either speak to his face that you hated when he make fun of you, or just treat him as invisible man (my favorite). It’s your choice. But never run away… if not, you will be running all your life.

2) We should never let this people affect our life.

There’s a Malay proverb – “Jangan marahkan nyamuk, kelambu dibakar”. Which generally means that if you are mad at something, don’t punish everything else but that thing. Why should you hate yourself? Why should you change? Why do you have to feel miserable for what he did or said?

There are many more important people, worthy of our tears. worthy of our attention like our parents, best friends, and even spouse. These are the people who we deserve our attention, should be our reason for creating or ending a blog. NOT the person who hurt us. So the next time we are going to be hurt by these people, just remember that they are not worth the agony.

So please guys, what would you advise this friend of mine? Any other way to deal with this kind of people?

————— Personal Note ————————–
There’s a quote from Princess Diary that I remember. “You can only be hurt if you allow it to hurt”. Just ponder about it… we can never control people’s mouth. So we should always make a concious decision to NOT allow the insult hurt us. I know it’s easier said than done. But seriously it works. Helped me through a lot of rough time.

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Summary – Day in day out.. why be emotionally normal? be happy!

Referring to previous comments, each of us has our own favorite type of movie. Some love horror, some favor romantic comedy or others. Basically we love these movies because of the way they bring up emotion within us. Some people love to laugh, so they watched comedy etc.

I was thinking… if we can actually identify what make us happy. I mean what really make us happy. Maybe if we can do the thing a bit more often than other things in a day, our day will be a happier day. I hope you understand. No?

I have a question. I would appreciate if you would enlighten us with your answers. But if you think it is too personal, just answer it in your heart. 🙂

What things or action that once done or seen will immediately make you smile and happy?

Of course there are a lot of things. But I personally am very happy if I can make another person happy. Seriously… I would go great length to make others happy. especially children. (You should see me with my nephew and niece hehe)

For your information, it took about 10 minutes just to figure out what really make me smile. Different people will have different answers and there are a lot of happy things in the world. So don’t just be influenced by people… Search your heart for the one thing that will keep you smiling and happy (even laughing) for the rest of the day.

Once you have identified this, why not do it everyday?

Like myself, maybe I should try to stop by at the local kindergarden here few times a week and entertain the children there. (Everytime I drove my motorcycle pass the kindergarden, I will look at them playing.. and immediately smile)

or I will go back to Kedah as often as possible to see my dearest grandmother (Maktuk). She definitely will be excited and that itself will keep me “:)”

Other people may find watching sitcom is the happiest moment (with all the genius joke). Then you watch sitcoms everyday. Buy DVD of those you really like.

My point is

  • Search your heart on what really make you happy
  • Do it at least once a day (Mandatory)
  • Why bother doing other things that have no emotional value

————— Personal Note ————————–
Other things that make me happy.. (eheh just writing about them is exciting)

  • the Mrs’s laughter (it’s highly contagious)
  • chatting with my dearest brothers. Can’t stop laughing everytime YM’ing with them
  • training in Silat (I’m obsessed)
  • reading comments and message in shoutbox 🙂
  • etc 

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the world is flat

Do you like to watch tv series FRIENDS. You know with Ross, Joey, Chandler, Monica, Rachel and Pheoebe. If you don’t, no matter. Im just quoting one scene from their show. Ross found out that Phoebe doesn’t believe in evolution. Well, he tried in many ways to prove to Phoebe that evolution is an idea she MUST accept without a doubt. Here is the transcript of the scene.

PHOEBE: Uh-oh. It’s Scary Scientist Man.ROSS: Ok, Phoebe, this is it. In this briefcase I carry actual scientific facts. A briefcase of facts, if you will. Some of these fossils are over 200 million years old.

PHOEBE: Ok, look, before you even start, I’m not denying evolution, ok, I’m just saying that it’s one of the possibilities.

ROSS: It’s the only possibility, Phoebe.

PHOEBE: Ok, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much, ok? Wasn’t there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the world was flat? And, up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can’t admit that there’s a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this?

ROSS: (After a long pause) There might be, a teeny, tiny, possibility.

PHOEBE: I can’t believe you caved.

ROSS: What?:)
/end transcript

The point I want to highlight is we can never assume what we thought or understand is correct and true. Even if the whole world know that 1+1=2, we must always keep an open mind that maybe there are other answers to it. Other view on things should always be considered as “another way to look at it” and not “this idea is ridiculous, go to hell!!”.

Finally, there are still so much we don’t know about the world we live in. Examples are like our minds, the ghost as in my previous post, out conscience, black hole maybe heaven and hell etc.

  • Keep an open mind and be humble with new ideas.
  • We don’t need to accept and agree on everything.
  • What we don’t know doesn’t always be wrong and what we know doesn’t always be right. Who knows in time, we will reach the level of science where we can explain what make us alive or the existence of jinn and satan. 🙂

————— Personal Note ————————–
I’m very sorry this post is not another of my ghost theories. I can assure you, it is very exciting sharing them with you. However the topic may be too heavy for some and it is always my intention for this blog to be light and easy. (just like the radio channel). But if there are demand from fellow friends, I would be delighted to present them to you. :)About FRIENDS – I know somebody might hate them. But I’ve always like to watch the series. They are very refreshing and as you can see… educational 🙂

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