Archive for the ‘Funny / Sunday’ Category

love

A friend sent me these quotes (thanks, you know who you are). According to the email, these are how some children answered when they were asked to describe what is love. I have no idea whether the answers were truly from those children but I still find the quotes interesting.

Rebecca [age 8] - “When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.”

Terri (age 4) - “Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.”

Danny (age 7) - “Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.”

Nikka (age 6) - “If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.”

Noelle (age 7) - “Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.”

/end quotes

It’s Sunday, and here in LessonInLife I don’t think anyone deserve to be stressed with heavy topic on a Sunday :)

But can I ask, how would you describe love? (The catch is you must use only examples like what Rebecca, Danny and Noelle answered)

Photo credit -  Huong Lan

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evil

It’s Sunday. And as always it’s light reading today. Enjoy your weekend!

A charity organization discovered that within their city live a very rich person who has not donated even a single cent to charity. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

“Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you have never given out a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some way?”

The man mulled this over for a moment and replied, “First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?”

Embarrassed, the charity organization rep mumbled, “Um … no.”

The man interrupts, “or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?”

The stricken rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

“or that my sister’s husband died in a traffic accident,” the man’s voice rising in indignation, “leaving her penniless with three children?!”

The now humiliated rep, completely beaten, said simply, “I had no idea…”

On a roll, the man cut him off once again, “So if I don’t give any money to them, why should I give any to you?”

/end

Lesson learnt

  • Don’t abandon your family just to avoid donating money. That’s just wrong :)
  • If family do not help family, who will?
  • It is almost sinful to justify your wrongdoings simply because you had done worse

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Pontiac

Summary - Problem solving attitude 

The following is a story forwarded to me via email. I’m not claiming it is true, but the idea is there :). It’s Sunday, enjoy!

This is a real story that happened between the customer of General Motors and its Customer-Care Executive. A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors:

“This is the second time I have written to you, and I don’t blame you for not answering me, because I sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family of Ice-Cream for dessert after dinner each night.but the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we’ve eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. It’s also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem. You see, every time I buy a vanilla ice-cream, when I start back from the store my car won’t start. If I get any other kind of ice cream, the car starts just fine. I want you to know I’m serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds: “What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice cream, and easy to start whenever I get any other kind?” “

The Pontiac President was understandably skeptical about the letter, but sent an Engineer to check it out anyway. The latter was surprised to be greeted by a successful, obviously well educated man in a fine neighborhood.

He had arranged to meet the man just after dinnertime, so the two hopped into the car and drove to the ice cream store. It was vanilla ice cream that night and, sure enough,after they came back to the car, it wouldn’t start. The Engineer returned for three more nights. The first night, they got chocolate. The car started. The second night, he got strawberry. The car started. The third night he ordered vanilla. The car failed to start.

Now the Engineer, being a logical man, refused to believe that this man’s car was allergic to vanilla ice cream. He arranged, therefore, to continue his visits for as long as it took to solve the problem. And toward this end he began to take notes: he jotted down all sorts of data: time of day, type of gas uses, time to drive back and forth etc.In a short time, he had a clue: the man took less time to buy vanilla than any other flavor. Why?

The answer was in the layout of the store. Vanilla, being the most popular flavor, was in a separate case at the front of the store for quick pickup.

All the other flavors were kept in the back of the store at a different counter where it took considerably longer to check out the flavor. Now, the question for the Engineer was why the car wouldn’t start when it took less time.

Eureka - Time was now the problem - not the vanilla ice cream!!!! The engineer quickly came up with the answer: “vapour lock”. It was happening every night; but the extra time taken to get the other flavors allowed the engine to cool down sufficiently to start. When the man got vanilla, the engine was still too hot for the vapour lock to dissipate.

/end story

Remember: Even crazy looking problems are sometimes real and all problems seem to be simple only when we find the solution with cool thinking.

Don’t just say its “IMPOSSIBLE” without putting a sincere effort. Observe the word “IMPOSSIBLE” carefully. Looking closer you will see, “I’M POSSIBLE”…

What really matters is really your attitude and your perception.

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Question

It’s been quite a week. Actually quite a month. There were some major breakdown in the mill and I had to go see to them. Why there were breakdown? if only some answers are easy :)

Anyway, as always here in LessonInLife, Sunday is the day for a break. So enjoy your Sunday with these questions. I’m sure some of them are very old school, I still find them very interesting. However I’m not sure there are any answers at all to these questions

1) Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

2) Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice?”

3) Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive?

4) Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

5) Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

6) Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

7) If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

8] If you’re in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

9) Does killing time damage eternity?

10) You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

11) Do pilots take crash-courses?

12) If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

13) If Barbie’s so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

14) If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?

15) If you can’t drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

16) Why do they call it “chili” if it’s hot?

17) Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

18) If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

19) Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?

20) How come wrong numbers are never busy?

21) Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

22) How do you get off a non-stop flight?

23) How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

24) Why do the signs that say “Slow Children” have a picture of a running child?

Source : Shanemcdonald Photo Credit : Bast

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sleeping

Today’s Sunday, and here in LessonInLife, we tried to make your Sunday as relaxing as possible. Thus usually we will only post light entries for the day.

Listed below are a joke I received via email on the top 10 things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk. Enjoy!

10. “They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”

9. “This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to.”

8. “I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!”

7. “This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!”

6. “I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance”

5. “Actually I’m doing a “Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan” (SLEEP) I learned it at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.

4. “I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress.”

3. “Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.”

2. “I wasn’t sleeping, I was trying to pick up contact lens without hands.”

1. “Amen”

Moral of the story : Sleeping on the job will definitely get caught :)

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