Holding to a commitment is like holding a very hot rock, the chances that you will continue to hold it is nearing zero. But with time, it will get easier since the rock will become colder.

Now the above example is a very nice way to describe motivation, but what on earth are you going to say to yourself in order to avoid dropping the rock at every single seconds. Remember, it is a very hot rock.

How to sustain your motivation 24/7. That is one of the biggest secret of motivation. Believe me, you can easily motivate a person. Some people are doing this everyday to their employees. Sure, they will be motivated, but after 1 hour or so, their motivation level will start to deteriorate and before you know it, you will have to give the exact same speech to them. And what worse is that it may not work this time.

Enough about other people, how do YOU sustain your motivation through out the day?

The Method

I don’t know about you but this is what I did. I will imagine that the things that I do have a very direct impact to my loved ones. Let’s look at that burning rock for example. Just imagine that your 1 year old daughter is sleeping in front of you, and if you let go of the burning rock, the rock will fall onto your beloved daughter. Will you let go of the rock now?

I don’t know about you, but I will definitely hold the rock firmly even though I will lose my hand in the process. I’d rather die than letting it hurt my daughter.

Applying It In Real Life

How to apply this in real life? Hm.. one example would be convincing yourself that if you cannot finish that pile of work in front of you, you will have to surrender your food and your children will be hungry for the night. Imagine the look on their face when you go home with no dinner for them. Imagine them crying themselves to sleep.

I better finish off my pile of work now.

Photo Credit – Image Editor

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I once heard a saying, that staying committed to something is harder that holding a burning rock. You will most likely to let it go all the time.

Take exercising for example, one day you were watching a documentary on how overweight people exercise their way to fitness and suddenly you got that extra boost of motivation to start exercising. You ran for 1 hour immediately after work. This went on for about a week until one day you started skipping the routine. It is now thrice a week. In a month or so you find yourself not exercising at all. You are then frustrated and blame it all on your weak willpower.

Does this look very familiar to you? No worry, every person on this planet has experienced the same thing. Like I said, staying committed to something is always difficult.

I however have learnt a technique to keep the motivation high everyday. Trust me this technique is very effective and if you practise it today, you will be seeing the effect of your continuously high level of motivation tomorrow.

This is what I do.

Excitement & Embarassment via 25% Technique

Instead of running for 1 hour daily, I run for 15 minutes. Yes, only 15 minutes. Even though I know that my body can withstand running for 1 hour, I stop running after 15 minutes. I will usually end up enjoying every seconds of that 15 minutes and getting excited for the next 15 minutes session tomorrow.

One of the most reliable way to stay motivated is to keep the excitement level high. This is what I do when I run at about 25% of what I am capable of. I know deep down that I can always do more, so everyday I will challenge myself by saying “If I can’t even run for 15 minutes, I will be very embarassed with myself.”

I don’t know about you, but it works for me.

Why This Technique Works?

1) You know you can do it anytime anywhere. It is only about 25% of your limit.

2) You will feel embarassed if you cannot finish it.

3) If for some reason you skip a day, you can redo the two day exercise by exercising at 50% your limit the next day.

4) After a while your body will begin to adapt to the 25% limit you set. You will notice that running for 15 minutes is not making you sweat anymore. This is a sign that you need to change your limit. Maybe start running for 30 minutes.

In other words, you are actually seeing yourself getting stronger. Who wouldn’t want that?

Other application

• Cleaning the house – Even if you can clean the whole house, try only vacuuming the floor every day.

• Blogging – Instead of posting one entry everyday, why not make it once every 4 days. Even if you already prepared 2 entries, publish it only after 4 days.

• Finishing an assignment – You can choose to work on your assignment all day long or you can set 2 hours everyday and finish it within a week.

Important Note

If you were to run only 15 minutes everyday your entire life, it will contradict with the whole idea of self improvement since you are not improving. This technique is meant only to help keep the motivation high every day. Once you are able to turn the exercise into a habit (action that comes naturally to you), you are free to stretch the limits accordingly.

- I Wonder -
How do you sustain your motivation? Any tips?

———- Personal Note ————
It is one of my resolution this year to reduce my weight to about 65 kg. Now that I have made this public, I will have to work even harder to achieve it.

Photo Credit – Eneas

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Summary – 10 lines you can say to yourself after a failure

I am not perfect. Even though I write a personal development blog, it doesn’t mean that I am the most developed person on the planet. We will always be in the process to be slightly better everyday. That’s exactly what this blog is all about

Personal development is just like life. It doesn’t matter whether you will end up a prime minister or a clerk, what matter is how you get there. And along this journey, some mistakes are bound to happen.

I confess that I procrastinate once in a while (Ok, maybe a lot), I sometimes manage my finance poorly (bought an external drive when I don’t actually need it). My point is, despite my articles that describe how to combat procrastinate and good financial tips, I can still make mistake and I can sometimes fail to follow my own advice.

This is where it becomes a problem. For the average guy like us, each failure can have some effect like depression, stress etc. How then can we effectively come back from a failure. For example, how can I remanage my finance after an out of control shopping spree? Should I start back from zero? Or is there any other way?

These are some suggestion on how to make that come back; a few examples of lines you can say to yourself to reset your life after a failure.

1) Behold! My experiment on making mistakes has completed. Procrastination really takes about half of your life.

10) Get up and just do something

Conclusion

We all fail ourselves at some point in life. We have two options. Making the come back easier or harder for us. The answer should be obvious – Always aim to make things easier for you.

- I wonder -
What do you say to yourself after a failure?

————– Personal Note ———–
I have a friend who diet. And whenever she failed to follow her diet and ate fatty food, she would literally torture herself by vomitting it all out. She would then be upset and depressed with the failure that even a stranger will be able to see it in her face.

Believe me, nothing good can come from this self torture. So stop it already.

Photo Credit – Hamed Masoumi

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What is temptation?

• You are on a diet, and everything you see looks delicious.

• You just got your paycheck, and somehow there’s a voice in your head telling you to spend some time at the mall.

• You are exercising in your house and suddenly that same voice in your head is telling you that all the exercise will not make you healthier.

All of that my friend, are temptation at its best. That feeling of wanting something so much when you are trying your best to avoid it. It is a part of you and thus you will never be able to stop it from haunting you your entire life.

However, not being able to remove it doesn’t mean that you have to surrender to it. You will need to declare a war with your temptation. Of course, not to all your temptation. Just the ones that are holding you back. I personally call this the greatest war of our life simply because it’s very hard to win a war when you yourself wanted to lose the war.

You will have to fight with all your might. If you want to make yourself healthier, you will have to fight that temptation to be a couch potato. And if you want to study, you may have to fight that urge to go out with friends clubbing. This war will never be easy. But it is NOT IMPOSSIBLE either. To actually win this great war, you may want to consider applying these tips.

1) Remember Why You Are Doing This

Again with the diet example, if you are on a diet, remind yourself why you are dieting. If you want a better health, print some articles about people dying of heart disease, or how older people are able to run a marathon when they are healthy. Read the articles a few times a day. Or create a blog specifically for your progress to health. You will be researching a lot of health related issues and that itself will kick the temptation of ruining your diet out of the window.

2) Make Use Of Emotion

There’s always “the shame” to help you win that battle with temptation. Publicly announce your diet plan. And if you ever want to break your diet, make it a rule that you will have to do it in front of your friends. This way, that shame will stop temptation from ever winning that round. Other emotion that can be manipulated are of course “Laziness” (Make the process of breaking your diet to be as hard as possible) and “Happiness” (Make every winning day a celebrated day)

3) Never Let Go

I actually got this idea from a tv series about “Black Hole”. According to the show, our body and gravity are in a never ending war. An example is like rock climbing. You are fighting gravity with every step we took. Just imagine halfway up, you decided to let go, you will fall down to where you started. You may get a hold of a rock but you will be terribly injured and there is no way you can climb the rock as efficient as your first time doing it.

Just like the analogy, the fight with temptation is very much the same. If at any point you give in to temptation, you will fall back to our starting point. And most of the time, the journey to return back to our current place will be hundred times harder.

So whenever you are feeling like giving in to temptation, decide whether or not you want to drop back to where you started, and bear in mind that the next time will be so much harder.

4) Don’t Give Debatable Excuse

The worst way to combat temptation is when you are being defensive. Being defensive means that you start giving excuses. You want to diet, after two weeks, you start craving for chocolate cakes. You will then start giving excuses to avoid chocolate cakes. Excuses like “Chocolate cake is bad for you”, or “There are too much calories in that cake”. These are debatable excuses which means that you will be able to argue with the excuse. You may eventually say that “If chocolate cake is bad, people will stop making them” or “It’s true that there are too much calorie, but what harm can a slice do?”

All these excuses are debatable. And when you start entertaining the conflict in you, you are losing the war by the minute. A good script to put an end to inner conflict are “I’m not discussing this” or “Period”.

5) Believe That Temptation Gets Weaker With Every Defeat

What will happen to you if you were in a competition and you were defeated at every round. Your motivation will get weaker no doubt. The same thing happens to temptation. If you keep winning the war, the temptation will eventually be weaker.

Believe in this and you will see the amazing result faster. It is when you are totally in control of your desire and from that time on, only good things will come to you. What ever you strive to do, you will get it done, your focus will be razor sharp. Now, let me be the first to congratulate you on all the success waiting for you your entire life.

- I wonder –
Any other tips on conquering temptation that I may have missed?

————- Personal Note ———-
For my Muslim friends reading, I wish you all the best with Ramadhan (Fasting Month). This is the time when our control on temptation will be tested. I actually wrote a few articles on Things About Ramadhan You May Not Know last year. Hope you will enjoy it.

Photo Credit – Phooey

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Interested? Now if only you can wired $20 for the secret to my bank account, I will email you the secret.

I’m just kidding. But don’t you think this unlimited energy is worth all the money in the world. I do. I sometimes feel so tired at work, it doesn’t make any sense since my work does not require me to do a lot of physically demanding things. And how many times have you seen a construction worker that works almost 15 hours daily doing heavy lifting most of the time, and still they can come back tomorrow for more work.

The fact is this energy comes from the mind. We all know this. Now let me share with you the correct way to harness this power.

I’m referring to the first law of thermodynamics – The Conservation of Energy. According to Newton, energy cannot be created and destroyed. It can only be transfered from one form of energy to another.

Obviously Newton was referring to the actual energy like heat, electrical, solar etc. I am just extending the law to cover our mind energy. First a disclaimer, this is just a personal application of the theory. You should never use this concept in real life physics examination.

The Mistake We Did
That said, this is what we usually do, We are feeling very tired after an 8 hour of work, the children at home are waiting to play with you. It’s the only time they see you all day so we can’t really blame them. When we reached home, we make a mistake of trying to create energy. We try to summon any energy left in our body to just entertain them. And according to Newton’s First Law, this is not possible. And that is why we will feel even more tired after that.

The Secret Is…
The secret to unlimited amount of energy is actually to transfer them from one form of energy to another. How else do you think that construction workers gain their energy. They kept reminding themselves that the money is for their family back home, and that if they didn’t work, they will not be able to provide education for their children. They are actually drawing their energy from their responsibility and love for family. And that is why they will still have the energy to entertain their children when they go back after work. They are at the time drawing the energy from the happiness brought by the children’s smile and laughter.

Just like singers getting their energy from the crowd, or a father carrying his sick children to the hospitals on foot. These are all real evidence that such energy transfer really exist. We just need to apply it in our life and voila, you are going to be amazed with the things you do.

So will everyone else.

- I wonder -
Where else can we find our source of energy to be transfered?

———- Personal Note ———–
This is my new source of energy. My 3-months old Zafirah.

Photo Credit – Suchitraprints

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Today’s entry starts with a person. It’s Alice. And Alice was sent to a motivational speech this morning, where the speaker talked about fulfilling her life purpose and make full use of her life. The speaker equipped her with all the right tools and her motivation is at the maximum level. So high that she is walking as fast as she can just to start doing her work.

People are actually noticing the change in her pace. She is finishing up all her work, and to their surprise, she even stays up until late at night to plan the for a presentation tomorrow. Truly a super worker.

Do you know what in her colleague’s mind when they saw her working that hard? It’s sad actually, but they are actually betting that all this momentum will be over in a week, two maximum. And you know what? For a reason that I will disclose later, I actually agree with them

Why do you think this happen? Like most people, she has failed to realize one of the biggest mistake we do when we are highly motivated. Allow me to elaborate.

The Mistake – She Expect Results Immediately
Succcess is not a one day thing. Realize this fact before you even attempt to being success. Alice may be working as hard as she can but if she expect to find job satisfaction overnight, she will be disappointed.

Just like a car, when it is first invented, it is just a box with wheel going downhill. Then the inventor wants to maneuvre the car and avoid all the trees, so he invented the steering. Then maybe it rains, so he put a roof on the box. For a car to be beautifully and efficiently designed takes hundreds of years and there’s so much more areas that we can improve.

Imagine improving our life.

So take your time improving your life. Be patient, in fact be very patient. As long as you are moving forward, you will reach there. I promise

How to avoid this mistake
1) Quantify your success
This may sounds like a fancy word but it really is not. People can always say “I want to be successful”. But when we asked them to define successful, I don’t think they will know the answer.

So find your answer. What is success to you. Maybe for Alice here, her success is to get an acknowledgment from her boss that she had done good. So once she know her definition of success, she will need to work on it. Maybe producing daily summary of work done, or proactively suggest ideas in a meeting.

She will be successful when the boss recognize her or know her name.

2) Aim for little success
This is the most important solution of all. You need to wake up everyday knowing that you will somehow be achieving your success that day. Imagine you waking up to the day you will be promoted the new General Manager of the company. Wouldn’t you be excited to work and perform even better?

That’s my friend is one of the secret to sustaining motivation. Aim for the little success everyday. For example, Alice will aim today to finish a job and handed it to the boss by hand. And when she does exactly that, she has succeeded in the day’s aim.

I’m sure she will continue this excellent quality through out her life if she wants to.

- Personal Note -
What’s your little aim for today?

Photo Credit – OmniNate

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It’s spring cleaning today in my house. And I must say that even though I’m cleaning the house on the go daily, when it’s time for spring cleaning, there are always a lot of things to do. It can be very demotivating to see so many things to do when you are already doing so much cleaning it on the go.

The amazing thing is these things to do are just small tasks that you can do immediately like putting away newspaper for recycling, or wiping up the dust on the furniture, or arranging the DVDs. Little things that somehow there’s so many of them, you just feel very very demotivated.

I don’t know about you but I find these techniques to be quite effective especially for motivating us to do all the tedious small tasks.

1) 100 Items And You’re Done
Whenever you are picking up socks or taking out the garbage. Count and shout the number of task you have done. An example –

You are picking up socks, shout “ONE!”
Then straight away do the garbage and shout “TWO!”

The rule is you must not stop unless you have done 100. I’m getting excited even writing about it

2) The Amazing Race “Insert Your House Here”
Cleaning the house is not a one time thing. You will be doing it for the rest of your life. Why not make it a race. Create a list of things to do and do all the thing on the list (duh!). But you will have to time how long it takes you to finish the list. For example you take 3 hours this week. Next week try to do the same task in 2.5 hours. If you break that record, make a big deal out of it. Go out at a fancy restaurant with your loved ones to celebrate.

I wouldn’t tell her what’s the occasion though.

3) Soundtrack Yourself
Burn a cd of songs that you really like. Play it while you’re cleaning. You can sing to it, you can even dance to it, but promise yourself that there will be no repeat for the playlist. When it’s over, it’s over. So motivate yourself by saying that if you can’t finish by the time the songs are over, you will have to do the work without any music.

Hopefully the fear of boredom will help clear the area a bit faster.

4) Attack The Giant First
Just like in war, we need constant motivation through out the war. In this war for cleanliness, it is recommended that you do the bigger thing first. For example, moving the heavy furniture. Do this first and the rest will feel like the easiest thing to do.

5) In-Law’s Visitting Scenario
This is actually my favorite. I noticed that I can clean the house faster and better when I keep convincing myself that my in-laws are coming. I notice this when they actually came to my house a few months ago. My house never looked cleaner.

6) The One-Minute Rule
This rule is actually proposed by Gretchen from The Happiness Project. According to the rule, anything that you can do in one minute time, should be done immediately. No question asked. For example, you come back after work and you see an umbrella misplaced. You can of course choose to ignore it and do other thing. But if you are applying the one minute rule, you will pick up the umbrella and put it to its rightful place. Why? Because it will only take you less than a minute to do that.

- I wonder -
Any other ideas on how to motivate ourselves doing those tedious little tasks?

———– Personal Note ———–
Now that we have a new member of the family, our daughter Zafirah. The mrs and I have come up with an agreement that one of us will have to look after Zafirah at any time. I’m telling you. A lot of my existing schedule were thrown out the window

But I’m more than happy to do that just to see her smile. Did I tell you that she is now smiling

Photo credit – Givepeasachance

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Summary – You want something, go get it. Period!
MBBDDH is nothing new actually. It’s a negative attitude that may very well be the one thing that will bring us down irregardless of what area we are in. That I can assure you.

MBBDDH stands for “Maybe Busy, Better Don’t Disturb Him”.

Have you ever wanted to call a long lost friend but in the end, you just cancel it because you think that he may be busy, and you are only disturbing him? He may actually be wondering why nobody is calling him? In the end.. it’s everyone’s lost since the friendship is ruined.

MBBDDH is not an attitude specifically for calling long lost friend. We are actually doing that in most of the things in our life.

Example 1 – The Blackout.
The electrical supply to your house is cut off. you just leave it as it is thinking that somebody else may have called to report.

• Result – you spend half a day without any electricity.
• What you should do – Call the electrical company to report. They may be able to fix the trip in just a few minutes.

Example 2 – The Promotion
There’s a vacancy for a job superior than your position now. You don’t go to your manager for his recommendation, you just hope that they will know that you are qualified.

• Result – the human resource had employed another person for the job.
• What you should do – Get recommendation from your manager and go to human resource asking to be considered. You must promote yourself even though you consider yourself as a very popular employee

Example 3 – The Broken Heart
You like a girl, she seem to like you too. You befriend her, flirting every now and then but never officially tell her that you like her.

• Result – After one year of being friends, she think that you just want to be her friends. And she move on with another guy.
• What you should do – tell her that you like her.

Conclusion - I remember a quote from the movie “The Pursuit Of Happiness” which goes something like this – “If you want something, go get it. Period!”

That short sentence is one of the most effective words I’ve ever seen. When we want something, why do we let our shyness, or our fear to stand in our way. Those feeling will never help us achieve what we want, so why bother entertaining them. Toss them aside and just go ahead.

- I wonder -
Any other example of where MBBDDH attitude is used?

Photo Credit – Hamed Masoumi

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I was cleaning my house yesterday. Well it has been left for quite some time so there’s a lot to clean. And it is very hard to keep that motivation up when there’s so much to do.

What I do is this..

I started with my bedroom. As always there will be things that I need to move from my room to another room. Maybe a travelling bag which was supposed to be in the store. Or my MP3 cds that were supposed to be kept in the car.

Here is where I learn something about sustaining motivation. I noticed that I can easily lose motivation if I immediately bring the items to its place. For example, if I found the MP3 cds in my room, and immediately brought them to the car, I will usually be more tired and often decide to postpone the whole cleaning to another time.

So I come up with a new system. When I clean the bedroom, I will just leave all the items to be removed from the room just outside the door. I just pile it up there. And when I finished with the room, I will start clean the next room and move the items to another room while putting a few of the items in its rightful place through out the process.

By the end of the day, I have cleaned the entire house, and all the items are put in place (My proudest moment)

Conclusion – So this is my theory. When you are working on something, put all other works outside the door. Just a few cm outside. It can pile up to be a mountain of stuff but that shouldn’t bother you because you are working on this side of the door.

If you entertain every additional work or those minor minor things that comes up while you’re working, you are already losing your motivation.

Our attention and concentration is not infinite. Just like money, if we spend it, we will be left with less money. Period. There’s no way a person who does 100 jobs in 24 hours will have better quality that a person who does 50 jobs in 24 hours.

- I wonder -
How do you keep your motivation sustained?

———– Personal Note ———–
As requested by Fairuzniza, I attached two very recent photos of Zafirah My new motivation in life

This is taken on 1st of June, She still had some level of Jaundice. But I just love this one

I think that should be her first smile ever in her life

Photo Credit – Tifotter

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It’s been a while since I last answer questions from readers . A new friend of mine, Evan was discussing with me on an interesting topic, which is on how to stay motivated.

Basically Evan knows what he want and he wants to take control of his life, trying to get back in shape, get better grades and be more organized. However, the problem is after a while of working on that, he will lose motivation and everything’s back to square one. To start back the whole routine is very tiring. Where did he go wrong?

I’m not going to list down motivational tools. Instead I’m planning to go into an area not popularly approached but nevertheless equally important, which are the rules of staying motivated. Yes, there are rules.

How many of us actually read motivational books and blogs, or go to seminar and feeling all fired up to start gaining control of our life, when suddenly after a few weeks, we return back to our original condition, unmotivated and lazy.

I know I have.

This is what I think happened. There are two hidden rules in all motivation. Allow me to explain.

Rule 1 : You must want to feel motivated

All motivation require us to actually want to change. But what happen when we don’t actually like the feeling of motivated itself. Everything is already a failure even before we start.

You must first want to feel motivated. Not to change but to be motivated. Believe me, everything will change once you have that desire to feel motivated.

My personal suggestion is for you to have a mantra set in your mind. “I want to feel motivated” or “I love being motivated” should do the trick.

Rule 2 : Never Use Motivational Tools When You Are Not Complying Rule 1.

This is quite complex. But let me give you an example. Has any doctors ever told you that when you were prescribed with antibiotics, you should finish all of the medicine even though you are cured. Why? Because, by not finishing your antibiotics, the virus/germ will only be weaken and not completely killed. If they survived, they will become more immuned to the medicine. And that’s why sometimes you will need a stronger dosage of medicine.

The same goes to motivation. This is our medicine. However, if you really don’t want to feel motivated yet you still read those motivation stories for example, you will definitely not be motivated afterward since you just don’t want it.

In the end, slowly you will feel that these stories no longer work to motivate you. And you will start looking for other means to motivate you.

My personal suggestion is to only read motivational stories when you really want to be inspired. Don’t read them and then just procrastinate things. Do this : Whenever you read any motivational stories, get up immediately and do something about it. Don’t be immunized by not taking action immediately.

Hopefully this will weaken the virus inside

- I wonder -
What are your personal tips to stay motivated

——— Personal Note ———-
I always like to use the sand in a cup of water approach. Sand will always settle down at the bottom of the cup. We have no choice but to regularly stir the water to get the sand occupying the water volume evenly. The same goes to motivation and other things in life. It’s one of those thing that we must keep doing. The sand doesn’t stay float forever.

Oh ya, to everyone reading, feel free to contact me should you have any questions. I’m not claiming I will have the answers, but I will definitely offer my best insight on them

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