Summary - Why get into trouble

I am in pain! not any kind of pain, the kind of pain that you suddenly do not have any desire to eat, all food taste ordinary..

I bit my tongue….

Do you remember the song P.Ramlee sang in the movie - Tiga Abdul? “Sedangkan Lidah Lagi Tergigit, Apa Pula Suami Isteri?”. Roughly translated, even the tongue sometimes bitten, so does the relationship between husband and wife. Which means difference in opinion between husband and wife is very normal and will happen.

It occurs to me, the tongue obviously will be bitten once in a while, because it is located right in the vicinity of teeth. So it’s no surprise if the tongue get bitten. The risk is always there.

Relationship wise, arguing and difference of opinion is just as normal, but maybe unlike the teeth and the tongue, we can just minimize the risk of having an argument. Maybe by setting up some rules to follow. A few that comes to mind would be like

• Family will always come first. So it’s a big no no to ask your spouse to choose between you and his/her family.
• Some people may have a few sensitive issues that he does not like to be brought up. For example, let say the boyfriend doesn’t like it when you comparing him with your previous boyfriend. Then avoid it, Why get into trouble, right?
• The girlfriend hate it when the boyfriend criticize her cooking, so guys.. Just don’t go there.

These are only a few examples I enlisted, Feel free to add some more rules.

In the end, the whole objective of having a relationship is for you to support, complement and provide comfort to each other. If there is a possibility of avoiding crisis or argument, just do that

- I wonder -
Is there any other rules that you think important to establish with your spouse?

———— Personal Note ———–
I really am in pain.. it’s hard to enjoy your food when everytime you chew, it hurts. So guys, be thankful for your painless tongue

I just sent the mrs to Bangi yesterday. She will be there to help her sister with a secret project or something. When it comes to family, we should always give way..

I’m living a bachelor life now huhu……… (Thanx to azuwachan for the correction )

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Summary - The secret of happiness is “Both of you”

So why do you think married couple cheat on each other like previous joke? The first thing that come to my mind is that they are not happy. Do you agree? Yes, I know that there are thousands of reason why a couple cheat: culture, not educated, lust etc etc. But I strongly believe that not being happy is one of the major factor.

So how can we have a happy relationship? This is secret to happiness, but there is one condition to reading it. It must be read by both parties.. the husband and the wife, the boyfriend and the girlfriend. If you can’t tie him to the chair forcing him to read this, you can just email it to him later

The secret is - You put your partner’s happiness first before you (Both of you).

As simple as it is, this will need both of you to practise it for it to work. You see, when we are single, we always take care of ourself. If we are hungry, we cook and eat, if we are happy, we smile to nothingness. So logically when we are attached to someone, we want that alone life to change, right? Before we are hungry, our better half already asked or order food. If we are sad, he/she will comfort us.

I mean, how would you feel when it’s raining outside and you’re hungry, and there’s no food, when suddenly your doorbell rang and it was your boyfriend soaking wet with a burger or “nasi lemak” in hand. You were not even asking. (I think this incident is from a novel that the mrs have me read hehe)

That is happiness. the feeling when you know that someone is looking after you, taking every possible opportunity to make you smile and comfy. Wait for you to eat together. Give up the chicken wing just because he know you love chicken wing.

And now imagine both of you are doing the same thing. How can you not be happy then. Remember.. the secret lies in the word “Both of you”.

What do you think? Do you agree?

—————– Personal Note ——————-
I dedicated the entry to my soon-to-be-married bro. I wish all the best with you. Trust me, it’s going to be a tough road ahead. So many unknown things, and the worse part is you are not going to find the solution in blogs or books. You will just have to equip yourself with knowledge, and start from there to solve everyday’s problem.

However, knowing how resourceful you are.. I’m not at all worried, you will do just fine bro happy planning the wedding!

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Summary - Ask question.. and be forgiving

Reading previous post by Ms Azuwachan, kept me thinking… we really don’t actually know who we are. don’t you think? Yes we know all the basic stuff, name, dob, favorite food etc etc. But we will only know our true self if we think about it. For example, by asking what’s the reason Azuwachan is a quiet girl, she will learn more about herself, maybe that she like to have control of her feeling, she observe and learn from things and people around her etc.

Which lead to a more interesting question, do we know who we really are? Do I know whether or not, I am a humble person, or an egoist? what makes me angry? What makes me smile? Even if I make a list of 1000 things that make me smile, I can guarantee you that the list will never end.

So a conclusion I can make is

• We really need to know about ourself, and the only way we can do that is by asking question. Ask question like, what kind of people I like or hate, or when people beg for money, what’s the condition that I will spare him/her some change?

• The answers to your question will give you a clearer picture of who you are. and it will act as a guide to you living your life.

• The answers will be a never-ending list. It doesn’t need to be perfect. As long as you know yourself better… you will do just fine

An interesting scenario very related to this - Let us assume a girl is 25 years old, and she has a boyfriend. One problem with the couple is that they always quarrel with each other. And when asked, the girl will say that the boyfriend never understand her. It can be the other way around, the boyfriend claimed that the girl never understand him.

According to the idea presented, that we will never completely know ourself, don’t you think the girl should give the boyfriend a break if he misunderstoof her sometimes? I mean, for 25 years the girl is learning about herself and still doesn’t quite know who she is. How can she expect a mere mortal that she just knew for 2 months to completely understand her.

So please give your spouse a break if he/she misunderstood you. He/she is definitely trying his/her best. And I really think that deserve to be appreciated, at least by a simple forgiveness once in a while, don’t you agree?

A question for you… what do you think is the most important question we need to ask ourself? Can I know your thought on this?

————– Personal Note ————-
Just an update, dearest mother is getting better. Yesterday, the bp had dropped from 193/120 to 140/94. She was discharged from the hospital and now is staying with me resting. Thanx to all wishing and praying for my mother’s health. Only Allah will repay your kindness.

Another good example for today’s entry, we never know our blood pressure unless we go see a doctor and check

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Summary - Please do the test but keep the result to yourself

I actually prefer not to do a relationship topic two days in a row, but this is an important topic very related to the entry of freedom yesterday.

Quoting it - “…But please… never tell your spouse you are doing experiment. Anyone.. and I mean anyone doesn’t like being toyed with. Be very careful…”

It is very common actually for people involving in a relationship to test each other. Some go to great distance like this person Siti (not her real name). Siti want to test her boyfriend whether or not he is faithful to her. She asked a friend of hers to mistakenly call her boyfriend and chat away. She wants to know whether or not the boyfriend will flirt with her friends.

What do I think of such behaviour? Brilliant… In my opinion, girls need to be more careful with the candidate of her future husband. She must know as much information as possible on his behaviour or attitude before she surrendered her heart for this guy. it is sad but true, that there are a lot of bad people out there, and we should try to filter them out by any means necessary

BUT (yes, there is a but)

please… do not do the test, and then brag to your boyfriend that he had been tested and he failed/succeed. Seriously… there is no good can come up from that revelation.

• The guy will feel like he’s being played and assumed stupid

• The guy will feel like the girl never trusted him

• The guy will never trust the girl ever

• The guy will get revenge and tested the girl.. it will all be a vicious circle

My point is this… For girl - please test your spouse, you should be sure of everything before making that leap of faith. But please don’t tell him you tested him, keep the information to yourself. If he failed, find another reason why you should not be with him. If he succeed, reward him handsomely :p

What do you guys think? 

—————- Personal Note ————-
I really think the mrs had tested me a couple of time during our get-to-know-each-other phase. But alhamdulillah, nothing is revealed to me, and the fact that we end up married must mean that I succeeded heheh

A little secret for all the woman out there, guys also tested the girls, but usually it doesn’t involve a third party. hm the type of test done.. that would make a great entry to this blog, don’t you think?

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