Summary - Spoon-Feeding Effect of Reading

For the record, I love reading. Always have and always will. There’s no substitute to reading. It is the only portal to knowledge. If you want knowledge and wisdom, reading is the way to go. I’m not debating this so rest assured that you are not going to read about the benefit of reading today.

However, there is one side effect of reading that you really must know. If I can name it, I will call it Spoon-Feeding Effect of Reading. It is when you read a book, and you just believe and absorb everything you just read without ever drawing any conclusion from it.

For example, John is reading a book about politics. As we all know, the political stand of the author will always be mirrored in a book about politics. John had absorbed everything he read from the book that he is now an exact clone of the author when it comes to political stand.

This is one of the side effect of reading that you must know before attempting to read anything. You must never absorb everything the author wrote and make it your opinion.

You may ask, “what harm can this do?”. Well quite a lot actually. You could end up with these effects.

• No creativity - How creative can you be if you are nodding to everything the author gave you.

• Non-critical mind - You will need critical mind, when it comes to making good decision or brainstorming.

• Lazier mind - The mind is like any other muscle in your body. You exercise them, it gets stronger. Vice versa.

• No individuality - Have you ever met a person, and you notice immediately that he is different from the rest of us. He stands out naturally. That is because he is not a clone of anyone.

Reading will always be the best way to learn. But you should also know the best way to read. What you should consider when reading a book are as follows:

• Read the book.

• Try to grasp the message in the book.

• Search your mind for your own opinion about the topic at hand.

• Compare notes between the message and yours. The author can’t be always right and he can’t also be always wrong.

• Draw your own conclusion to the matter.

You may find these steps very simple, but you will be surprised to know that almost all readers fail to practise them. It is always easier to take the author’s word for it.

Conclusion

Books and blogs are usually written by smart people. And the readers are usually very keen to learn more about the subject from these smart people. What better way to be smarter than to learn it from smart people. You just need to make it a habit to develop your own conclusion from anything you read.

Your conclusion can be wrong. It can also turn out to be a smarter approach. What ever it is, it will always be yours. Nothing beats that.

- I wonder -
Besides fiction, what other types of books do you read?

———— Personal Note —————
I remember when I was a child, people often asked what my hobby was? I will then answered almost immediately, “Reading”. I guess reading was just the easiest answer or maybe I knew that people will stop asking when you answered “Reading”.

Photo Credit - Lin Pernille

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There are thousands of tips in the internet about how to sleep. This article will be another addition to the vast collection. But what makes this article different from the rest?

The techniques described here are taken fully from my experience. And I can guarantee you that it works, at least for me. I have no problem taking power nap for as short as 10 minutes and I will feel refreshed immediately after that as if I have slept for 3 hours. This is how I do it.

1) Put up “Do Not Disturb” sign

Whenever I want to take a nap, I always make sure that there will be nothing disturbing me. My cell phone will be set to silent, The Mrs will be informed so that she will take care of everything when I’m taking the nap. In short, you are not supposed to wake up before 10 minutes in a nap.

2) Say “I want to sleep” in three level

First, I will say it out loud. Of course, do not be too loud. You don’t want to ruin the moment. Level number 2 is in the mind. I will think about the phrase in my mind. Level 3 is actually still in the mind but I convince myself that it is another deeper level (The Subconcious Mind). With that said, I will close my eyes.

Our mind is one of the most amazing object in the universe. You want something, you ask for it, and the mind will give it to you. The problem with most people, is that they don’t really want to sleep. They are still thinking about matters at work, or worse - figuring out why they cannot sleep. If you want to think about a problem, make a special session for it - a thinking session at another place another time. Taking a nap or sleep must always be a sacred place where we can find peace with ourself.

Don’t get me wrong, solving problem while sleeping is actually recommended. But all you need to do is to explain to your mind the summary of your problem, and sleep on it. (11 Missing Steps of Problem Solving You Probably Don’t Know)

3) Enjoy the show

Have you ever sit on a couch, watching commercial on television but you are not paying attention? You can see the commercial, hear the music but if people ask you to explain it, you will have no idea what you have been watching.

This is exactly what you should do when you close your eyes. Let go of your mind remote control. What ever your mind flashes to you, just watch it come and go. Do not pay attention to it and never try to control the images.

Believe me, this works everytime for me. I will fall asleep without even knowing when.

Conclusion

The secret to sleeping is actually to let go of your concious mind and let subconcious mind take over.

• Step 1 will ensure that there will be no external interference in the process.
• Step 2 will trigger subconcious mind to take over.
• Step 3 will help letting go of your subconcious mind.

- I wonder -
What do you do to help you sleep?

———– Personal Note ————
One of my brother is even more amazing. He can fall asleep in mere seconds. I know because I can hear him snore seconds after we pause our conversation. It’s either he is that amazing or I am amazingly boring. I refuse to believe the latter.

Photo Credit - Mayr

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Summary - The Yes No Question

Life is really a funny thing. It can be both complicated and simple at the same time. Let me try to elaborate. Supposedly you want to start a business. There will be a lot of things to consider such as market demand, promotion etc. I’m not even referring to other complex personal problems you will start to think like :

• Is it your passion?
• Will you be happy?
• Will you have time for other things in life?
• What if you fail?

There are so many things to consider in any decision we make throughout our life. And that doesn’t even include all the Plan B,C and D we have up our sleeve should Plan A fail (shh Plan E and F are up the other sleeve). I’m sure you will agree that this whole process we called life can be very complex.

When it is this complex, it will usually take more time to complete and more stress just to figure things out. We don’t want this now, do we?

From Complex to Simplified

The same man can stop all the noises in his head and just ask, Do I want to start a business? Yes or No? If he answers “Yes”, he will just go through his plan. Period. If the answer is “No”, then he will move on with his life.

It doesn’t get any simpler than this. This is the missing step in simplifying life - “The Yes No Question”.

Thinking about all the possibilities and analyzing the fact to ensure our success are very important in every planning. We can’t just start up a business without researching the demands, or the prospect of the business. That will be suicidal.

But all the planning will not work and will further complicate our life if we didn’t follow it up with the “Yes No Question”. Ask yourself a question that can only be answered with Yes or No.

Life is complicated enough, and when we further think about it, it will get even more complicated. I bet the man will still be thinking about his plan even after 5 years. He will still be listing down the pros and cons of starting up a business. This is all because he didn’t dare to ask himself the “Yes No Question”, which in his specific case is “Do I want to start a business? Yes or No?”

Here’s another example on the application of the “Yes No Question”. If you are deciding whether to study Chemistry or Engineering in college, just ask yourself - “Do you like Chemistry?” If the answer is Yes, then go ahead. Forget about the fear of unemployment in the future. However if the answer is No, why are you still there thinking about it. Move on to other things in your life.

Conclusion

This is how we live a simpler life. First complicate the thoughts with all factors and ideas considered, and then ask the “Yes No Question”. What ever the answer is, just pursue it.

There are no failure in life, just different result.

- I wonder -
Are you a complex person or a simple person or both?

———– Personal Note ————-
Sometime when I reread a few articles I wrote, I said to myself that all of the tips are easier said than done.

Everything then seems so much simpler.

Photo Credit - FromASecondStory

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Summary - 10 Fundamentals of Effective Planning

There has always been debate between a planner and a non-planner. The planner believes that everything must be planned for it to be effective or successful. There’s some truth in that.

And the non-planner believes that to get things done, we must reduce the steps needed for it to be done. Hence, no plan is needed. This also makes sense.

I personally believe, as always, a moderation between the two ideas is the best answer. We should always plan, but the process of planning must be so organized that it can be done within minutes.

These are what you should first consider :

1) Determine what exactly you want

Getting all excited without actually having anything to be excited about is like driving endlessly around the roundabout. Yes, you are moving. Yes, you are excited, but after 5 hours of doing that, you will still be there with a big headache and no gas.

Write down what you want. Do not just make a list in your head. That never works. If you want to buy a house, write that down - “Goal : I want to buy a $100,000 house.”

2) Set a deadline

Just saying that you want to buy a house will not mean much if you are going to buy it in another century. You might as well save only a few cents per day and still manage to accomplish that in a century.

Set a deadline that actually makes the plan worthy of your time. However, do not be over excited and set the impossible. There is no way you can buy a house in 2 months. Unless of course you just inheritted several millions dollars from your uncle. If this is the case, please consider to be my best friend .

Write this down in your plan just under Goal - “Deadline : End of 2014″

3) Aim 10% higher for goals and 10% lower for deadline

We already know this universal truth that if you want to write a blog post with 10 points, you will usually end up with only 9. Nothing else can be squeezed out. And If you aim to finish a job in 2 days, it will usually drag to 3 days. This is slowly becoming acceptable even to the best of us.

Aim 10% higher for all your goals. If for example, you want to buy a $100,000 house, aim for a $110,000 house. I can guarantee you will end up with exactly $100,000. Set also the deadline to be 5 years instead of 6 years. Again, keep everything on the logical side. All goals must be practical. Period.

4) Start with what you have now

Zero multiply with a thousand will always be zero. This is what you get if you start working with something you don’t have. If you are unemployed, how can you save that $110K to buy the house. So you should start with getting a job. It’s that simple. Being unemployed without any income and still plans to have $110K in 5 years is not a plan, it’s day dreaming.

But of course, if getting a job is part of the plan. it will make perfect sense.

Another example just to fortify this point is to plan to be a famous singer when you hate singing. There is no love for singing to start with, so your plan however detailed will most likely fail. Start with something you have, like you have the desire to become famous. Maybe you can be a manager of a wonderful talent. Just promote her untill she become insanely famous. I’m sure people will know you too then.

5) Big Big Big Picture

I’m sorry to tell you that this is usually the hardest part in a planning process. You will have to come up with all the details of your plan here. For example, if you want to buy the house, you have to figure out how to save the money, where can you get extra income, where is the best location for the house etc. In short, this is the step where you will have to do some research and figure out how exactly to achieve what you want.

Be warned. There is a dangerous trap lurking in this very step. Some people spend days and even years trying to get the full detail of the plan. It is true we need a detailed plan, but not so detailed that the plan will always remain a plan. Sometimes we just need to have a rough idea, a few supporting ideas and proceed with it.

6) Calculate the duration & milestone

Remember the $110K house we planned just now? The next step is to come up with a proper milestone for us to measure the success of our plan. In order to save $110K in 5 years, we will need to save at least $1.8K per month. Now that we have figured this out, we can easily tell if we are making progress by the end of the month.

The problem with this step is that, sometimes a goal cannot be quantified. Meaning, you cannot put numbers or percentage of completion to a goal. Typical example is like goals to be happier, or fitter.

Unfortunately, in order for us to have a concrete achievable goal, we need to quantify the unquantifiable. Maybe for those who set their goal to be a happier person, you can count the number of smile and laughter per day. Or try to give yourself a mark at the end of the day, “How happy are you today? 1 being sad, 10 being happy”.

You will need the numbers or it will be another drive around the roundabout for you.

7) Prepare for obstacle

I was once told by a very wise man that if you encounter obstacles in your plan, it means that you are on the right track. I couldn’t agree more. When you are planning for something, you will find as if the whole universe is going against you, demotivating you in every corner.

Just scrutinize the obstacle you encountered. Try to determine the lesson behind them so that you will know how to handle such problem in the future. If you do this, believe me, you have won half the battle.

In our specific example, there may be time when your car suddenly need a complete overhaul which will siphoned a lot from your saving. Be ready for such event. Set up your rules beforehand, what event, if happened, that will allow you take up some cash from the saving etc.

8] Address the weakest link in your plan

There will always be one weakest link in any plan. This weakest link is something that is involved in your plan, however due to its weakness, it is likely to fail and thus fails the whole plan.

For example, you want to direct a movie. If the star of your movie keep showing up late and postponing the shooting due to his personal problem, he is then your weakest link. And he alone will jeopardize the whole plan of shooting the movie. Your cost will double and most probably the movie will not be finished in time. So address this first, either give him a 2 hours lecture on responsibility or just fire him. That maybe the best decision you will ever make.

9) Stop planning and just start something

It’s true. Start working on your plan is actually a part of the plan itself. If you want to write an ebook, just take note the first 8 points listed above and immediately start with your ebook. It’s that simple. Why? Because about 50% of your plan will be actually devised during the implementation of the plan. Buying the house is started by a simple saving of a few dollars. And only after you actually start saving, you will better understand what you need to do to buy your dream house.

10) Review, Improvise, Continue

Remember the milestone we established in point 6. Make it a practice to review your milestone every month (It can be anytime you want). Ask yourself why you can’t reach the target set? what else can be improved?

And immediately after taking note of all that, continue working on your plan. If you followed all this steps, there’s no reason your plan will fail. No reason at all. Congratulation! Now that you know how to plan, isn’t it appropriate to plan something?

- I wonder -
Ever had a plan that failed? Care to share the reason why?

————– Personal Note —————-
I received the annual planner every year without fail from my suppliers. However, I never actually used them. I am more comfortable planning on an A4 paper. Over time, it will be filled with other junk so I make the effort of writing it all again on another A4 paper. Redundant, I know, but at least it keeps me reminded of the plan all year long.

Personally, I really need to see the plan for it to work. Anything that is inside a book cover or a computer will remain there forever a plan.

Photo Credit - John Althouse Cohen

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Summary - How Parkinson’s Law helps you get things done.

I’ve learnt about Parkinson’s Law way back when I was a student. Back then it was just like any other things that came out from my lecturer’s mouth - Incomprehensible meaningless words. There’s nothing wrong with him or his lectures, it’s just me. I’ve learnt my lesson though.

Parkinson’s Law if used correctly, will ensure that any work that need to be done WILL be done. If the deadline is 1 hour, you will finish it in 65 minutes top. Interested?

Parkinson’s Law - The What

Parkinson’s Law says that - Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.

It basically means that if you are supposed to write a 10 pages report and you set the deadline to be 2 days. It will most probably be finished in 2 days. According to Parkinson, the work will expand itself to adjust to the deadline you have set. You will start feeling the need for a more thorough research about the topic, maybe an interview or a good time spent googling. The simple 10 pages work has now expand itself to fill up the vacancy in the 2 days period.

Now that is an example of a really motivated and productive guy. Imagine what will happen to a person whose nickname is The Laziest Person On The Planet. He will start surfing the internet, watching television in the name of research, take few long nap to refresh his mind from God knows what. In the end, the 10 pages report will still only be finished after the 2 days deadline (even though based on the attitude, it will be very unlikely)

Exactly after 2 days, both of them (productive guy and lazy guy) will claim that the work done is very hard and it requires the full 2 days just to finish it.

Now this is where it become interesting. Try assigning the same work to another guy and set the deadline to be only 1 day. I can guarantee you that the work will still be finished by the deadline with almost no difference in quality (Of course we are comparing between two productive guys)

The Unspoken Law of Parkinson’s Law

1) Know the limits of low and high.
You cannot finish writing a 10 pages report in 10 minutes. That is stretching the law and you will only end up more frustrated, tense and most probably become another statistic of hypertension cases.

Experiment with the law. Let say you manage to finish the report in 2 days. Bravo! now let’s try 1.5 days. Do this until you know for certain what’s your low and high limit to Parkinson’s Law

2) Keep track.
This is actually covered in point number 1, but I think it is so important that it deserve a number too. Always keep track when you are doing the experiment. It will be a waste of time when you have done all the experiment to get your optimized deadline data but forget all about it in a year or two. Keep a book, and record everything until you can have the following conversation with your client

Client - Can you optimize the SEO of my blog for me?
You - Not a problem.
Client - When can I expect it to be finished?
You - 47 minutes.

3) Buy a timer
Now why do we need a timer when we are this motivated? The reason is because there is an unmotivated section of your mind which is equally strong, and usually it is so much smarter than your motivated section.

When you are doing your work, your unmotivated section of your mind will start to sabotage the process. Typical example is when you start to forget how much time you still have before the deadline. This is where the timer comes in. Set the sound of the timer to be as refreshingly painful as possible.

A no brainer but really, why we bother come up with a deadline if we have no idea where we are at anytime.

4) Answer to someone.
Find yourself a few friends to help you. Give them the authority to check on your progress. Now imagine that they are THE boss. I’m very sure that the work will be finished in no time. It always work for me (But with real boss)

Email them the details of your work. Maybe ask them to call you after every one hour and you must report how many pages have been done. Of course you will need to reimburse the call charges later.

The only problem with this is when the boss apprently is the laziest person in the group. You know what to do right? Fire your boss. This is the only time in your life you will be able to do this

5) Know other forms of work expansion
You set the deadline for two days, and you finish it in one. By right you have proven Parkinson wrong and that the work is not expanding. However the work does expand but this time it will be in other forms such as anxiety (wondering what if the report is rejected), or no satisfaction (You feel like starting over) or tense (arghhh)

By knowing this fact, you can save yourself a lot of therapy session in the future.

And by knowing all the 5 unspoken laws, you are finally ready to experience the full benefit of Parkinson’s Law. In another word.. your work is guaranteed done.

- I wonder -
Care to share your techniques to get things done?

———— Personal Note —————
The previous 1 week has been a very hectic week for me. VIPs were visitting the mill and you know that number infinity people keep talking about. I have that exact number of works need to be done

That was when I remembered this technique. Now the number of balance work I need to do is roughly infinity minus a few hundres.

Photo Credit - laffy4k

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Summary - 7 rules we need to establish beforehand

Having an argument in a relationship is a very normal thing. In fact, it is a known fact that a relationship without any argument is most probably doomed to fail.

Why argument is just as important in a relationship?

It is because argument will make us see the better option in any situation. We are usually blinded with our own opinion that we fail to see another point of view of things. Yes, even if that other point of view is way better. For example, we may believe that children should not be given money. All of their money must be saved in the bank for their future. Make sense right?

However, your spouse may argue that by giving them money, they will value money better as they will now understand how hard it is to save. The more they save, the better things they can purchase later on. That is a better opinion, don’t you think?

So how exactly can we mould this argument to produce positive results instead? There is only one thing you can do, prepare for it.

Ultimate Rule of Argument Is Preparation

Always establish some ground rules before everything. Do you remember the time when love is all around? The time when she is 2 hours late on a date and you are still able to smile when she arrived. Try to sit and discuss with her these simple rules during this period of time.

Discuss this - “In the case of argument, how will the two of you solve it?”. The following are some suggestion on what both of you can agree on in this discussion.

1) Only argue when the argument can help you two become better people
There is no reason to argue about who’s taking out the trash. Somebody will still have to do it. If not, your house will start to smell. If for some reason you are stuck with this pointless argument, one of you should remind the other that this argument is just not worth it.

2) Never attack each other’s ego.
No man will stand being called a coward, just like no woman likes to be treated like a slave. Define each other’s borderline and make it known to your spouse. For example, the girlfriend doesn’t like to be scolded by her boyfriend in public, so the boyfriend should take note of this and even though he is not happy, he should raise the issue behind closed doors.

As long as we’re here, no name calling either please.

3) There should always be only one person talking at any time.
An argument will stop being helpful when it starts becoming a duet presentation by the couple. This is when the two scream at each other at the same time. Seriously, how can you know the problem when nobody is listening.

It will not help either if nobody is talking.

4) Establish that there will sometimes be one winner and one loser.
Obviously the perfect argument is when the outcome is a win-win situation. However, there are some cases when the result of an argument is one-sided. For example, if the husband has been assigned to be in charge of finance, almost all argument about finance will be won by the husband. You just cannot spend $1000 on both investment and buying things at the same time.

Set up some rules on how to be a winner or a loser. For example, the winner must always respect the losers. Laughing at losers is so 7 years old.

5) Agree on a third person.
If and only if the argument is going nowhere and both parties are not preparing to compromise. A third person must be assigned beforehand. Typical examples are like bestfriends or families. This person will then help the couple to reach an agreement. He will also have the authority to make a decision on the argument and the couple must accept it no matter what.

It is always considered a good manner not to involve the third person in all argument. He or she has a life too you know

6) Any parties can step away from the argument at anytime (cooling period).
It is very normal for anger to build up in any argument especially when it involves personal matters. The couple should agree beforehand that any one of you can request to be left alone for a period of time as a cooling period. Believe me it really helps.

When you are angry, your judgment will be clouded and you will not be able to see what the better option is. I can say that this is the hardest rule of all since anger will require all your strength just to contain it.

For more tips on anger management, you might want to read an article I wrote - How To Be The Strongest Man On The Planet.

7) Practise arguing.
This may be silly, but why not? Schedule a few time in a year to practise handling an argument. Try the cooling period request, or the third person, especially the no-ego attack rule. It can be about anything. Anything that the two of you are not in agreement. Remember, the aim is to practise these beforehand rule you established.

When the time come for the actual fight, you will know exactly what to do. And when the wife ask for a cooling period, you will understand and give her. Hey! it’s in the rule right?

- I wonder -
What other rules should be established about argument beforehand?

———— Personal Note ————-
Very recently, I had an argument with the mrs. A small one actually, more of a misunderstanding. And when we were trying to discuss it very seriously, there she was, our 4 months old daughter (Zafirah) smiling endlessly at us. And we actually stopped our argument to smile back.

We quickly wrapped up the discussion and solved the argument immediately

Photo Credit - victoriapeckham

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Do you know anyone in your life that buys an item just because he may need it later. For example buying 2 dozen of chairs just in case he may organize a small function at his house in the future. The fact is that he is not planning to organize the function any time soon but that has not stopped him from purchasing.

The same person will also stock up his entire garage with all kinds of gardening tools just in case he feels like gardening. We all know he will never start gardening. Sooner or later, the house will start to be filled with junk that may already be useless but they are still being kept safe in case they can be repaired later on.

I’m sure you must know at least one person with the same attitude towards buying things. As a matter of fact, every one of us do have some degree of that attitude when it comes to buying things. We often call it planning ahead, and we like to make it easier for us by buying in bulk rather than wasting time going to the store multiple times. There’s not much we can do about it. The only thing we can do is to control the intensity of the attitude. We can control it so that it will always remain a “planning ahead” instead of an obsession.

These tips may help to do exactly that.

1) Plan only one month ahead.

Only buy the chairs if you are planning to organize a small gathering THIS month. Never purchase anything that you will not be using in this month. That also goes to all the food in the fridge. If you are not going to eat it in this month, avoid buying it.

2) Start saving money for immediate use

One of the most popular reasons people buy things that they don’t really need is because they have the money now and they are afraid that by the time the items are really needed, they will be short of cash then. Hence, they cannot afford the items

Make sense, but instead of buying this in such a way, why not we save that money in a special account especially to be spent. This account is never meant for long term investment or saving. It is to be spent. You will have a lot more money to buy things and along the way, you are actually reducing the amount of unnecessary shopping.

That’s like killing two birds with only one stones (Not that I approve the killing of birds though)

3) Keep track of THE items

What are THE items? They are basically those items that appeared from nowhere with amazing deal that may make you want to surrender your entire saving if the sale person just asked.

When I was younger, I was window shopping when suddenly I saw the entire collection of FRIENDS (The Sitcom) sold at a very cheap price. I mean really cheap and I was convinced that if I didn’t buy it then, I would never stumble another similar offer ever again. I had enough money to buy it but it will cause me a few month of starvation. I chosed to walk away and a few months later, when I really had saved the money to spend on the DVDs, I forgot where exactly the shop was and it was very frustrating.

This is the second most popular reason why we buy things that we don’t need. We are afraid that the offer will be over by the time we really need it or that we totally forget where and what items to purchase.

You can try this. Everytime you decline an offer you can’t resist, take down all the details of the offer such as shop location, seller name, price, etc. By the time you are able to purchase it, you will know exactly where to get it. And if the discount is no more, believe me it will only get better.

4) Remember you are not an immortal

This is a rather pessimistic technique, but it works like a charm. You are not an immortal, You will die someday. What’s the point of collecting things that you will not be able to use it. Even though you want to give it to your children as heritage, who can guarantee that they will not sell the items or worse dump the items as rubbish.

Don’t you think it is better now to buy only what you use?

5) Shopping Approval Form

This is an idea I use to prevent buying unnecessary items. Create your personal buying approval form that asks the following questions

• Did you plan to buy it?
• When exactle are you going to use it?
• Can the items be used by others?
• Have you settle all your other financial commitment?
• Have you shopped around for better deals?

If there is at any time one “NO” answer, you should walk away from buying it.

- I wonder -
Do you know anyone with such habit (buying but not using)? If yes, what did he/she buy?

————- Personal Note —————
I once bought a DVD player with the noble intention to catch up on my favorite movies. In just a few months, I subscribe to the movie channel HBO, Cinemax and Star Movies. And I only use the DVD player about once a month.

I know DVD player can become handy. But what the use of a handy items when you are only using it once a month.

Photo Credit - Twoblueday

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“The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, “I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we’re going to be three in this house instead of two.”

He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, “I’m glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us.”

/end joke

Happiness is such a wonderful feeling. Out of a sudden, you feel energetic and excited as if nothing else matters in the world. You jump, you cry and you smile. It really is amazing.

However, just like most of other feelings, happiness will deteriorate with time. And the quest to maintain and find happiness is really a challenging task even for the most optimistic person.

Any tricks that you use to find happiness? These are a few of mine.

1) Outsource doing things that you hate

Let say you dislike doing laundry but your spouse is at neutral with that task (means no inclination to both liking and disliking), why not negotiate the task. She will do the laundry while you cook dinner. Provided that you love cooking, both of you will be relatively happier each day.

2) Create a Survivor type happiness booth

Get an A4 paper, and write down all the emotion you can remember. Cut every words and put it into a box. Put the box in front of a mirror and every morning, allocate some time to be in front of the mirror and find the word happiness from the box. Show the word to the mirror and say it out loud why you choose to be happy today.

It can be exactly the same thing everyday, but subconcioiously this will help a lot in your quest to finding happiness everyday.

Whenever you are feeling “not happy”, you will immediately remember that ritual you do every morning, and you will know that that is the chance for you to choose happiness instead of other emotion. It is going to be easier to be happy if we have made that choice everyday conciously. Try it and tell me how it goes.

3) Set up secret journal of happiness

I’m not sure about you, but I always feel happier when I’m thinking about my past happy moments, like the first day I received the news that I’m going to be a father, or the day my daughter was born (Hm weird, it seems like a lot of my happiness recently comes from my daughter).

If you are just like me, I would encourage you to keep a secret journal of happiness. It can be a microsoft word file (password protected of course) with a few line to remind us of the event that make us happy.

Happy moments are like treasure. Treat it like one.

4) Do _____ just for fun

If you think about it, we never really do stuff just for the fun of it. I’m not talking about the things we like to do like football, or blogging etc. These activities usually have other benefits to us that we don’t really have fun while doing it.

Try to do one random things just for the fun of it. Go dancing under the rain, or go camera crazy at the zoo (Try to get every possible pictures you can), or sing a song at a friend’s wedding (make sure you don’t know a single word of that song)

You will be laughed at, that for sure, but you will also have a good laugh after that. And nothing brings out happiness better than a good laugh.

- I wonder -
Any secret tricks that will sure make you happy?

———– Personal Note ————-
A quick flash back to my Journal of Happiness,

Photo Credit - Jaja 1986

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Introduction to Decluttering / Cluttering

For the benefit of readers who are clueless as to what is decluttering, it is when you clear your computer table leaving only three things; keyboard, mouse and the monitor. Everything else is just clutter and can be placed elsewhere.

If you practise the concept of decluttering religiously, you will start to create this mindset that everything need to be decluttered, from your kitchen to your wardrobe. This article will illustrate why you still need to have a cluttering mindset.

To understand cluttering, try to do the opposite of clearing your computer table. Put everything in your room on the computer table. Even though you organize everything into alphabetical order, it is still considered as clutter.

Why Clutter Is Just As Important As Declutter

Now that the introduction of the idea is out of the way, allow me to explain why we should not cast away that cluttering mindset just yet.

Cluttering mindset is the foundation of ideas

I’m sure you are familiar with the word “Brainstorming”. It is when you set a segment of your meeting to throw every ideas that come to mind even though it is illogical. They are not to be debated, at least not yet. If you’re interested, I actually had written a sketch script that describe accurately how a brainstorming session should be run.

The problem with decluttering is that we tend to throw everything out the minute they are put on the table. Brainstorming doesn’t work that way. Every single ideas are important even though it doesn’t make any sense.

For example, if a team of rocket scientist brainstorm, one idea that may come up is to go to outerspace by building a 20km high building and provide an elevator to go up. This may sound silly, but the idea can actually be further refined. I recently saw a documentary in History Channel that research is being done to develop the strongest fibre to be the foundation of space elevator. This very idea if worked may be refined from that silly tall building idea.

Once you have put everything on the table, I mean every single idea you can squeeze out, then only you refine everything and try to make use of the illogical ideas to maybe spark another new ideas. That’s my friend is how all the professional thinkers are doing it.

Conclusion - A has 2 ideas, B has 100 ideas. Let say 50% of all ideas are useless. A will only have 1 useful ideas but B will have 50 useful ideas. You do the math. (Wait, that is the math)

- I wonder -
What are your most illogical ideas in your life? (This should be interesting)

———– Personal Note ————-
When I was a child, I was obsessed with Transformers (The cartoon). My first dream was to collect enough money for me to construct my own robot with aluminium foil etc. The idea was obviously illogical, but from that idea my brothers and I started cutting paper and build our own paper transformers and toy vehicle. I think DaPocket managed to sell his for 20 cents

There! a story of how brainstorming can actually makes money

Photo Credit - Jacob Botter

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The Problem

Have you ever had that day where you just don’t know what to do, despite the mountains of things you can do? It worsen when you actually know what you are supposed to do but you just don’t want to do it. Am I making any sense here?

For example, you know you have a blog entry to write, the ideas are pouring but when you switch on your laptop, you just end up spending your day browsing through millions of other blogs or socializing via twitter instead. At the end of the day, no entries were written. And there goes another day of your life.

This is NOT another case of procrastination. It’s more like doing everything else except for the one thing you need to do. It happens to me all the time and I’m sure it happens to you too. Can I ask? How do you overcome it?

Ths Solution

This is how I overcome the problem everytime I encounter it.

I am often overwhelmed with a thousand things to do, like researching, visitting others’ blogs, stumbling interesting articles etc, when all I really should do is write an article here in Lesson In Life. What I will then do is to rediscover what my immediate role at the time.

There is only one rule to this technique - There should only be one role to play at any time.

If I am a blogger, I should be blogging.. Period. Something is definitely wrong if I declare myself a blogger when I’m not even blogging. Realizing this immediately gives me more focus and clarity to write. Try it, you will be amazed that something so simple can do wonders.

The same goes to your career. Something is definitely wrong if you are a fireman but you like to show off how brave you are by creating fire.

Or if you are an assistant manager but the manager has more work on his table than you.

Conclusion - if you are a blogger, you blog. Everything else should take second place. Apply this to everything in your life, and your life will be so much simpler.

- I wonder -
If you can pick any one role to accomplish something today, what will you be? A blogger? A kitchen slave? A student? or others?

——— Personal Note ———–
What I usually do when I am supposed to be writing

Photo Credit - Striatic

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