Summary – Are you toxic?

There’s a quote “all we need is love”. And that love will conquer all. that may be true, but there are many kind of love. One type of love will actually do more harm than not being in love. It’s called toxic love.

Here’s how to identify if you have one. Remember, these are all examples of toxic love.. not to be followed 🙂

1) Obsessed with the relationship
You immediately get angry if he didn’t call or SMS you last night. For you, he should be crazy about you and shouldn’t stop thinking about you. Only you!

Just wait when he forgets the anniversary.. That may be his last day on earth.

Healthy love – There’s a very fine line between being obsessed and being in love. One way to know is to see the whole condition from a third person’s view and imagine being treated the same way. Will you be comfortable?

2) Insist to be the same
You are a fanatic believer of “Couples need to share the same hobby and interest”. You insist that she should try bowling just because you love bowling. And when she clearly doesn’t like bowling, you threaten to break up with her.

Or simply you support political party A, while she support political party B. You keep babling every night to have her change her mind and take offense if she didn’t.

Healthy love – When you’re in love with someone, you should accept her for what she is. Not what you expect her to become. True that we have to better ourselves. That’s maybe the only reason to change.

3) Neglecting social life
Why does he need his friend when he’s already got you. He should have dump all his other friendship and focus only on you. There shouldn’t be any emailing that you’re not informed, or SMS behind your back.

Healthy love – People need some space for himself. Being in love doesn’t mean that he has to sacrifice other friendship. It’s important actually to remain friends with other people. It will keep him alive and sane 🙂

4) Unreasonable jealousy
She should give all her attention to you, not anybody else. If she had to choose between her brother and you, she should choose you. And most importantly, she should not in any way look at another man when she’s with you. If she does, she will have to go back home by taxi.

Healthy love – there is a quote that jealousy is the sign of love. I would add “Reasonable jealousy is the sign of love”. Jealousy will always be there when you’re in a relationship, but the more important thing is how we react to it.

5) Avoiding the unpleasant
When you’re in a relationship, you demand that only good things happen to both of you. You don’t want to argue, and when there’s an issue raised like he is actually a drug addict, you prefer to ignore the issue and pretend it didn’t happen.

Healthy love – When there’s an issue raised, both of you should discuss it openly and try to find the solution. Relationship is not about accepting the good things only, it’s about you and your spouse providing support to each other in those low time.

/end

Being in a toxic love is very harmful to your own health and the spouse’s. These factors also may be the one thing that will lead to breaking up between couple. So if you do love your relationship, avoid toxic love.

– I wonder –
Anything I missed?


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Lucky Draw Update – God’s Slave has increased her chance of winning by posting about the contest in her blog. She received 22 entries.. You can do the same and thus increasing your chance of winning 🙂

Penguin

Summary – 6 sure tricks to overcome fear

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice,

“Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?”

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t dear,” she said. “I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.”

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: “The big sissy.”

/end

🙂 I love the joke. Just love how simple the mind of children can be.

I still remember that there was time when I was still children that I’m terrified of the sound of thunder. And the fact that my parent switched off the television just make it harder to ignore 🙂

I’m not sure how, but over time, I seem to lose that fear. It makes me wonder though, how can we overcome our fear?

1) Knowledge
This is what I think destroy my fear entirely. I may have learnt more about lightning and thunder and understand that the sound of thunder is actually just loud noise. No danger there. And that if you can hear the sound, means you are still alive and safe.

When you know how to swim, your fear of water will slowly fade away. It will help if you actually enjoy swimming.

2) Check what starts the fear
Some fear start at the subconscious level. Maybe you are afraid of height because once in your childhood you’ve fallen from a tree. You may not remember the incident, but the fear of height has developed from it.

All you need to do now, is to try to trace back the exact root of your fear. The more we know about it, the more ready we will be to overcome it.

3) Face it one small step at a time
This is one of the most important step in overcoming you fear. We can say we are no longer afraid of spider, but there’s no point when there is one and we just walk away. Face the fear.

Maybe we can try this, find a dead spider first. Take it in our hand and examine it for a while. That shouldn’t be a problem right? Later maybe we can try with live small ones,

The change must be gradual. Don’t overwhelm yourself with Tarantula or Spiderman just yet 🙂

4) Get help from friends
There must be at least one friend of yours who doesn’t share the same fear. Get help from them. For example, you are afraid of computers (which is ironic, since you will not be able to read this if you are). Have the friend at your side while you swith one on.

5) Just throw the fear away
What would you do if you are afraid to see blood, but there is an accident happening right in front of you. Do you walk away?

No, you shouldn’t. What you should do (besides calling for ambulance) is to throw that fear away for a while. People may be dying there, and you worry about some blood?

6) Ask – can you die?
Some fear is very ridiculous. Like fear of birds. Just ask yourself, can you actually die if a bird peck you? There’s never an incident recorded from history of people killed by a bird. So why then are we afraid?

This is actually a good mantra to repeat when you are overcoming your fear. “The worst case scenario is I die, and there’s no way I’m going to die from this”

Conclusion – We may be content with our fear, but why living with one? overcome them and be a better you.

– I wonder –
What’s your fear?

———– Personal Note ———–
One of my fear was needle. I’m stressing the word WAS. But one time, I was diagnosed with a dengue fever and admitted to ward. There, they poked me with needles so many times that I lost count. That time on, I am no longer afraid of needle 🙂


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Opportunity

Summary – It’s not luck

Believe it or not, there’s actually a secret. How often do we read in the newspaper of people winning $1 Million, Some win cars and others win houses and more cash.

Are they just lucky?

Of course they are… But luck alone will never help anyone to win a contest. The actual secret that help them win is actually the fact that they participate in the contest

I’ve seen many times in the internet when a contest was announced with very attractive prize, cash up to hundreds of dollars, and when asked how many participate, there are only about 20 readers. And guess what, that blog actually receive hundreds of visitors everyday with 1000 over RSS readers.

We can be a genius with words, or we can design the most beautiful art but if we didn’t make the first move of joining a contest, we will never win anything.

Forget everything about being shy, or procrastinate joining to another time or that wait and see attitude. If you see an opportunity, just grab it.

True, I may have a hidden agenda in this post to promote LessonInLife’s First Lucky Draw announced yesterday. The lucky draw is still open until the 27th March of 2008. And you can easily participate by posting a comment at the contest post..

But the truth is, we always do the same thing to other opportunities in life. If for example, the girl of our dream sits alone in the cafe, most of the time, we will just avoid from introducing ourselves to her. This is the wrong attitude. There’s no way she can know you if you didn’t introduce yourself to her.

Or sometimes we were presented with a business opportunity. And everything about the business are convincing. Still we take our time and take that wait and see attitude. Most of the time, the opportunity will just pass us by leaving us regretting not doing anything then.

So guys, let’s try to change this attitude. It’s very simple actually.. You see an opportunity, you grab it.

– Disclaimer –
I’m totally against gambling. And this post is never meant to promote gambling. Also, when you are deciding on your business investment, be sure to do research first. In this specific case, research fast 🙂

– I wonder –
Have you ever won anything before? Tell us the story.


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FruitfulTime TaskManager

We are going to have a lucky draw this week. This is the first time a contest ever be held here in LessonInLife, so I’m really excited and hope that everyone reading will participate.

The prize
There will be 3 winners and the prizes are 3 license keys to FruitfulTime TaskManager and 3 spots for Premium 125X125 Advertisement here in LessonInLife for one whole month. The total prize worth is USD $150 or equivalent to RM450.

About FruitfulTime TaskManager – I have tried the software on their 10 day trial offer. It basically a to do list software that helps you get things done in a more organized way while keeping track of your long to do list. You will have to download the software at their website and if you win, you can use the key to continue use the software. Personal review – definitely worth more than USD $30, and you will be getting this impressive taskmanager software free here if you win 🙂

Tell me about the contest
There are three ways to participate – Leave comment, subscribe via email or post about the contest in your blog. Each participation will give you entries. The more entries you have, the more chances your name will be picked.

The winner will be selected randomly. And by random I mean, like picking a name from a jar of names (literally).

The contest will start from 16th March 2008 to 27th March 2008 (Malaysia Time). The winners will be announced on the 28th March 2008

Winners must reply the email sent to you in 48 hours after the announcement, or the winning will be forfeited and another lucky winner drawn.

How to participate
There are three ways to participate. You can choose one, or do all three.

1) Leaving comment to this contest post.
Just leave your comment to this post. I will count each comment as 2 entries.

What to comment about? You can comment on these items

  • How to further improve LessonInLife
  • Or just introduce yourself
  • Or ask me questions..
  • Or a simple “Hi banji, I’m in!”

2) Subscription via email
Click Here. A new page in your browser will direct you to the form. Enter your email address in the form. You will receive an email immediately asking you to confirm. Logon to your email and confirm. Once you had confirmed, I will count that participation as 10 entries. The more entries you have, the better chances for you to win the lucky draw.

For those who may not be familiar with subscription. By subscribing, you will receive LessonInLife’s article automatically via email everyday. This will not only save you time, it will also guarantee you that no articles are missed. You will also be able to read them at your convenient time.

No string attached, you can unsubscribe anytime you want and rest assured, that your email address will not be used for other purposes. You have my word.

3) Posting about this contest in your blog,
All you need to do, is to put up a post in your blog about this contest / this blog with at least one link to this post, inform me via the comment section for me to verify and you will earn yourself 20 entries.

That’s 10 times more chance of winning!

The entries can be about anything, the contest, the blog etc. And I will reciprocate by linking back (dofollow) to you in this post.

For those who may not comfortable with subscribing or posting about this contest in yuor blog, you can enter by leaving comments. However, bear in mind, participant that do all which subscribe, post and leave a comment will have 16 times more chance of winning than those who just comment.

Still, it’s a lucky draw.. Anyone can win. 🙂

Terms & Condition

  • In addition to the announcement of the winners in the blog, winners will be sent an email informing him/her of the winning. He/she must reply the email in 48 hours or his/her winning will be forfeited and the prize be given to another lucky winner.
  • Readers who already subscribe to email, automatically receive 10 entries. Still, You must leave a comment to participate
  • My general policy on commenting applies as stated in the Disclaimer.
  • I reserve the right to modify any terms & condition as I see fit. And all results are final.

Remember, it’s a lucky draw, anyone can win, but you can only win if you participate 🙂

Blog Post Promoting The Contest


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