This is the third part of How To Make Decision Series. You may want to check Part 1 and Part 2

What? You end up getting the same point using the tool described before? hehe don’t panic. It happens all the time. It actually shows that both choice is actually of the same importance and meaning to you. Either path you took will not be the wrong one. But the problem now is our mind. We can’t just let it all go. That’s where the final steps come in.

5) Solat Istikharah

I’m afraid this option is only for the muslim friends. I’m not going into details on how to perform the solat but on how actually the solat will help us.

  • First, we must know what we really want. We have done our homework and know that both option simply of the same importance. We know that whatever we choose, it is already the best decision made. What concern us now is how will the future be if we decide on A. The truth is, we will never know. So speak to Him in your doa. Ask Him to help you now. Preferably youspeak to Him out loud.Then only it will trigger your subconcious mind to chip in.
  • Perform the Solat with all concentration (khusyuk) you can give Him. Don’t think about your problem just yet. That will not go anywhere, it will still be there when you are done.
  • Allah will not answer your question like a Forum Perdana. Sometime He will give you clarity and courage to decide. Sometime you will still be indecisive but everythings turns out OK. Just believe that if you pray for Him whole heartly, everything will be taken care of.
  • Last but not least, Tawakal. (The act of doing everything withinyour power and leave the rest to Allah). There’s just something well outside our power, and it will be waste of energy to worry about it. (“Buang Karan” eheh). An example would be, our sun goes supernova. We just can’t do anything, maybe go to another planet. Other than that, why worry now? 🙂


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You may want to check Part 1 and Part 3

You will have to read this as if you were watching a tv series.

Previously on LessonInLife… “Cruel Process, Wild things and Weekend”

Like I said, usually when you reached step 3, you already have made the decision. For those who still can’t make up their mind, there’s always other tools you can use that may help.

4) Criteria Weight Solution
This tool is actually widely used in a feasibility study. Let me demonstrate it for you. Take my case criteria for example, “Manner”, “Nice conversation” and “Nice to look at”.

First I have to assign some weight or figure to the “manner”, which is the most important to me. The higher the figure, the more important it is to me. In this specific case I assign as follows
Manner – 3 point
Nice Conversation – 2 point
Nice to look at – 1 point

Then scrutinize both girlfriends, which is better in term of “manner”. If A is better, give her 2 points and give B 1 point. Here’s how to do the calculation : Girlfriend A – Manner (2 point), Nice conversation (1 point), Nice to look at (2 point). Multiply the point given to the weight of each criteria.

For example, 2 X 3 = 6, 1 X 2 = 2, 2 X 1 = 2
The total for girlfriend A = 10 points

For girlfriend B – Manner (1 point), Nice conversation (2 point), Nice to look at (1 point).
1 X 3 = 3, 2 X 2 = 4, 1 X 1 = 1

The total for girlfriend B = 8 points.

Using this tool, the logical decision to make is choosing girlfriend A.

* Please note that I am not in anyway objectify woman. The examples are just to help you better understand the weighing tool which is an acceptable means to justify your choice scientifically. It can be applies to any others such as choosing real estate, career etc. If I offend anyone, do let me know and I will rewrite everything using other examples. 🙂 To Be Continued


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This is the first of How To Make Decision Series. You may want to check Part 2 and Part 3

Decision

At first I would like to do another topic. But somehow this topic seems more relevant to one of my friends (who is reading this).

So how do you decide on thing?. How do you decide between girlfriend A and girlfriend B? or which house you should buy? There are so many way to decide on things. And I believe all of us have develop an internal system on the methodology. Here’s mine. I’m taking the girlfriends case as an example, simply because it is more fun hehe

1) Do I really need to make that choice?

  • First ask this question, because a 7 years old and/or a 70 years old definitely doesn’t need a girlfriend. Why torture yourself with the dilemma. Sometime and by sometime, I mean, all the time our mind will think about things that have no relevant to us. For example, worried about getting fat, when you are actually underweight with a lifestyle of an athlete. Stop torturing yourself!

2) There is always option C and D.

  • You are going to make an important decision. Of course you will have to check if there is any other alternative. Option C is actually to choose both options. And option D is to choose neither. Consider this for a change.
  • FYI in engineering, there is the term “do-nothing”. For example, flood happens once every year and workers cannot come to work. The company can either invest millions to construct water disposal system, or we can just declare that days as paid leave to all workers, and only loss thousands 🙂

3) Decide on your criteria (Quality that must be present)

  • For example, the criteria in choosing a girlfriend maybe manner, nice conversation, and nice to look at. Do note that the quality must be clear. If, for example, when you look at girlfriend A – “I’m comfortable talking to her”, and when you look at girlfriend B – “But she’s funny”, then you’ll be repeating that argument for the rest of your life, while singing “Disana Menanti Disini Menunggu”. No point! 🙂
  • It may be cruel but you have to know which is better in term of the criteria you define.
  • Note : Criteria can also be in negative form, for example, the girlfriend must not be smoking. If girlfriend A does smoke and B does not. Immediately choose B 🙂
  • The criteria based selection is a cruel process. If for example girlfriend B has no manner. Immediately end the decision making choosing girlfriend A. The point of this process is to make the decision and not to entertain the dilemma. So be strong ya!

Mind is a very wild thing. It can be thinking about one thing and later think about a totally different thing immediately. That’s why it is sometime good to have an organized decision making skill. Believe me, the process may look like it take a long time, but when you are so used to it, effective decision can be made in seconds.

Up until this point, usually you have come up with a decision. If not, no fear, there are two more secret steps that will guarantee effective decision making. To Be Continued

————— Personal Note ————————–
Guys, I will be going to KL this Friday and Saturday, so there is high possibility I can’t see you guys until Sunday. Apparently I have some matters at Putrajaya on Friday. Any of you guys work in Putrajaya? Can’t wait to be back. But you never know, I just might have that itch and go to internet cafe. So do come in and say hi. Have a nice weekend everyone 🙂


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Slap Is The Answer

29 May Filed under : Islam 6 comments

I remember one story I read in my email. I’ll try to rewrite the story from my memory. One person (who we will call Tenggang) came to see an ustaz. The ustaz was at the moment teaching his student about Islam in a mosque. Tenggang rudely interrupt the teaching and asked the ustaz.

Tenggang : Ustaz, you have been teaching about Allah and Islam. I just want to ask you two questions.
Ustaz : (interrupted but stil remain calm) Yes, please ask and I’ll try to explain them to you if I know

Tenggang : You talked about Allah, Can you show me this Allah so I can look and be satisfied? Second question, It was said that Satan was created from fire. Hell was also said to be made of fire. If so, how can satan be tormented and tortured in hell when he is fire by nature?

Ustaz : (approached Tenggang.. and slap him)
Tenggang : (shocked) Why are you mad at me? Is this how an ustaz should behave?

Ustaz : I just answered both questions with the slap.
Tenggang : (still angry) What do you mean by that?

Ustaz : Do you feel the pain when I slap you?
Tenggang : Yes, what’s your point?

Ustaz : So you believe that the pain exist?
Tenggang : Yes

Ustaz : Then show me this pain. Obviously you cannot, you can’t even comprehend such a normal feeling, how would you expect to understand the physical of Allah (Zat). To know Allah is not to know His “zat”. You would go crazy if you think about it. Know Him through His creation.

Tenggang : (slightly humble) But what about the second question?
Ustaz : What is your cheek made of?

Tenggang : Skin
Ustaz : And what is my hand made of?

Tenggang : (Realizing) Also skin
Ustaz : So when I slap you, do you feel the pain?

Tenggang : Yes, Ustaz
Ustaz : Even though Satan is created from fire and so is hell. If Allah will it to hurt satan, It will hurt him.

/end story

I read a lot of debate from non-believer who actually question the very existence of God. And they were actually expecting a logical answer from us. The thing is, logic is flawed to begin with. The story serve as a good example of this. To those non-believer, before you ask for the logic behind God, tell me first, where’s the logic of you being you

  • you cannot choose the way you were born
  • you cannot choose the way you were going to die
  • you claim that you live but you have absolutely no control of your inner organ. Try to make your heart stop beating for five seconds or ten. How to claim you are you when you can’t even explain your beginning, your life and your end

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