I may not have any children just yet. But I have seen examples of “what in my opinion” mistakes parents do while bringing up their children. And these are not examples from tv series or anything. They were actually happening and done by my very own neighbours.

Mistake 1 – Don’t team up. When the father scold the children, the mother must not join the father and scold them. Instead she should play the comforting role and try to explain to the children why they are being scolded in a comforting but stern tone.

Mistake 2 – Do not go against each other. the mother should not go against the father and defend the children unless the children is innocent. In short, both parent should have the same opinion on the matter and the children must know this. It is still recommended that the parent discuss their argument behind the children to avoid lost of sense of authorization.

Mistake 3 – Never spoil the children. It’s a dirty job, but still somebody has to do it. Remember Anakku Sazali? Never spoil the children with love so much that the parent do not dare to scold them or punish them. Children are very understanding, and if explained properly, they will know what were expected of them.

Mistake 4 – Be smarter than the children. They will always test the boundaries of their limitation. Doing so doesn’t mean that they will become a bad person in the future. Some parent prefer to let the children explore themselves, which is good. What I am saying is that parents must always offer guidelines for those angels. For example the children may cheat sometime to see how you react. If no action is taken, they will assume it is ok to cheat.

————— Personal Note ————————–
These are just my opinion. Not being a parent myself, I hope some parents may enlighten me perhaps on their own experience. Children are not some experiment we can redo if we don’t like the results. That’s why we need to learn parenting skills. Read books, google the net.. There is just no other way. Some people claim that their ancestors need not learn this things and still they grow up alright. True.. but we are so connected via internet, why not we learn from each other and avoid repeating those bad-result experiments, Right?

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One afternoon, a very wealthy businessman came to one beach to relax. He saw one fisherman using his net to catch some fish. The fisherman is very skillful that with each throw he would get a lot of fish. Seeing this as an opportunity the businessman approached him.

Businessman -You sure have great skill there. If you want, I can loan you some money for you to start your business.

Fisherman – Really? I am not that good with business, you tell me what should I do with the money

Businessman – You could buy a boat so you will be able to catch more fish

Fisherman – Then what?

Businessman – With more fish, you can hire more people to help.

Fisherman – Then what?

Businessman – You can then afford to buy a bigger boat and employ people to work for you

Fisherman – Then what?

Businessman – (Getting annoyed) Then you can quit your job and spend more time with
your family. Isn’t that what we want in the end?

Fisherman – Why bother doing all that when I am now already spending most of my time with my family. Thank you for the offer.

Businessman – (silence)

/end story

Both of them are actually wrong.

The businessman is very optimistic and highly ambitious, which are very good qualities to have.

However he should know already what to achieve with his way of life. His final answer actually should be to improve the quality of life for the fisherman and his family. If he still don’t know what he wants with his life (Which generally describe me and maybe major population of the world), he would probably never get it forever.

The fisherman is worse. He may know what he wants with his life, but he doesn’t have any desire to improve himself. He is just plain lazy. And maybe sometime relate this to being thankful to Allah (Syukur and Redha). He could at least try right?

Quoting – “Allah will not change the fate of any person if that person did not even attempt to change it”

————— Personal Note ————————–
As you may have noticed, I loved this type of story. Why? because it is very easy to remember and very easy to relate the lesson hidden with real life application. Remembering my years of studying, I once flunked my subject simply because I got carried away with my other activities. No objective… No priorities and no plan to achieve it. Hopefully the story help

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There is always this fear when we are about to get married.

• “Is him/her the right person for me?”

• “Should I just wait for a better person?”

• “There are also maybe something irritating about the person that we fear we will have to live with for the rest of our life. Am I the only one who can see this?”

Fear not my friend. You are very normal as I believe all living person will have the same thought.

When people asked me this question (Yes… people do ask me this type of question), I usually just quote a phrase – Do not expect to have a wife as perfect as *Siti Fatimah when you are not any nearer to being Saidina Ali. *Siti Fatimah is the wife of Saidina Ali, one of the four Great Caliphs of Islam. Both of them are said to be an example of perfect husband and wife.

There are two points to remember.

• Nobody is perfect. A marriage will be perfect if you know all the flaws of your spouse and still you loved him / her regardless, and of course vice versa.
• Satan hates marriage. Why? Because it will be some sort of firewall for us from doing the forbidden /sin. They will try to sabotage the whole marriage by any means necessary. So most probably those doubt within you is just some persuasion from this nasty creature. A’uzubillahi Min Assyaithonirrojim. Nothing else.

Just think rationally with both wisdom and your heart, with a lot of prayer to Him (Solat Istikharah). You will know what to do.

* Correction made pointed out by flighteng. Appreciate it

————— Personal Note ————————–
I remember when I got married, the Murphy Law somehow applies. According to the law, anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Nothing big, just that some of the convoy got lost, and in the end… Only the groom (which is me made it to the reception). Luckily everyone arrive just in the nick of time as if everything is according to plan. I still smile whenever I think of this. Any of you guys have funny wedding stories?

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Hi again, i just came back from my vacation, feeling very refresh (hopefully). I noticed there are a lot of thunderstorm every evening at my place and it suddenly occur to me that I don’t know anything about lightning safety. So I look it up. Better to know this before we are fried, right?

1) It is recommended to wet your clothes with the rain. This is simply because it is always better to have the current go over you than through you

2) Lightning can strike before rain. So take precaution before it rains.

3) Never use an umbrella or your handphone during lightning. There was even one case I read in the newspaper that one Malaysian had to be admitted to hospital for using handphone and got struck by lightning

4) Do not take shelter under a tree, instead try the inside of a building. Much safer.

5) There is this “Lightning Defensive Position” we can try. Squat down with your feet together and close your ears with your hands. Do not lie down or touch any metal or anyone beside you. Just remember, the lightning always try to find the tallest object around. So if you are on a field alone. the position will not do much

6) Stay in your shelter for about 15 minutes after the rain stopped. This is because lightning can strike up to 15km away from the thundercloud even after the rain had stopped.

————— Personal Note ————————–
Talking about lightning, I always imagine that if one can survive after being struck by lightning, he or she will have superpowers. heheh I for one is obsessed with the idea of superpower. So any tv series with such theme immediately falls in my favorite list. We may not be able to fly or stop time. But I think we are still using so little of our potential. Just compare ourselves with world athletes around the world. Anyway…. GOOD TO BE BACK!!!!

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