“Banji.. have you put on your belt?”
“Yes, mother.”
“Banji.. are you sure?”
“Yes, mother.. you can see it for yourself”, I said while showing the belt I was wearing.
“HAHAHAHAHA.. I was referring to the seatbelt”. And all passengers in the car laughed at me. Guess what, it’s been 20 over years, and my mother still bring up that incident once in a while. 🙂
/end memory
Nobody likes making mistakes. However our life today can only be better if we learn from the mistake we did yesterday. There is also no way we can be 100% free from making mistakes. So we might as well just accept the fact that we will make mistake and keep learning from it throughout our life.
I believe that there is however another set of mistakes that we need to avoid at all cost – The mistakes we do after making mistakes. Enlisted below are some of the most common mistakes we usually do after making mistakes.
1) Refuse to admit that mistakes had been done
Some people are so egoistic that they will never accept the fact that they had made a mistake. For this type of people, mistakes are signs of weakness and being the egoist that they are, they will never admit to that.
Another type of people who fall into this category is those who were always in denial after a mistake has been made. They are so afraid of making mistakes that they deny the mistake ever happened. These are not the kind of people you want to be around with.
How can we learn from our mistakes if we never actually admit there was one?
2) Try to forget the mistakes
Some mistakes are embarassingly painful. These will usually be buried deep down in our memory with the hope that it will be forgotten. Personally, trying to forget our mistake is a very stupid move. If we forget it, it will be like buying a hideous van and burn it down right away. People will never notice the van but your money spent to buy the van is loss forever. Don’t you value your money?
3) Blame self or others.
This habit has become sort of a built-in habit to everyone. Once a mistake was done, the first thing people will do is to find whose fault it is. It will never serve any function except the illusion that the mistake has been solved. It can be important however to do this if finding the fault will solve the problem.
The worst case scenario is when we are blaming ourselves for the mistake. Once we do this, believe me, there’s no way out. Our mind will use all of its resource to further punish ourselves for the mistake. It will be like a black hole with no way out. Don’t go there.
4) No room for forgiveness.
This is sort of related to point 3. But it is very significant that it deserve its own number. Forgiveness is always the hardest thing to do. We can say anything, read all the books but when your life was screwed up by a person, it will be very hard to forgive him.
That is why, we need to have that room in our heart for forgiveness. Set up this room in our heart. We don’t necessarily need to forgive him right away, but knowing that there’s a room in there for forgiveness will definitely help later on.
5) Justify mistakes
Very similar to point number 1, the person who make this mistake will come up with justification as to why a mistake was made. Remember the girl who cried wolf? She might made a mistake the first time thinking that she saw a wolf. And when the villagers came she made excuses that she was just fooling around. You know how it ended.
Justifying mistakes does not make the mistake go away. It will not help you learn from it either.
6) Refuse to analyze your mistake
Being an engineer, when a problem / mistake occurs in an operation, the first step is always “redefining the problem”. Let say an operator forgot to switch on a pump and ruined the whole operation. I can straight away scold him or give him a warning letter. But this will not solve the problem. If he can forget the first time, the chances are he will forget it again later.
I should study if there were any possibility the pump can be run automatically and thus removing the problem altogether. Or maybe put up a checklist to help the operator remember.
Analyzing mistake is the most important things to do right after a mistake has been made. If not the mistake made will serve no purpose and you will find that your life is just one big boring loop where the same mistake is being repeated everyday
– I wonder –
What’s your biggest shareable mistake in your life?
———– Personal Note ————–
My biggest shareable mistake in life is when I was in my final year. I literally spent all my time chatting on IRC. I failed a subject and did poorly on others. That for me is my most expensive lesson in life.
I made a lot of good friends though.. I just need to manage my priorities better.
Photo Credit – Endlisnis
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Not allowing self to move on from the mistake is also a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. We just need to learn from them and then let them go.
I have made a lot mistakes that I probably could write a book about it (as for my own eyes only). To share?? hmmm. nanti membuka pekung di dada pulak ye..
I try not to make the same mistakes twice but sometimes I didn’t realise that I have made the same mistakes over and over again, until one fine day.. i sit down, think hard, analyse.. and,
– oops, i did it again.
let us all learn from our own mistakes and others and make the world a better place to live (sounds so cliche pulak).
yep, long time no comment here. sorry la banji heheh
mistake is experience.
mistake is a pit stop before victory.
mistake is immunization…
looking other way, nobody make mistake. if he learn from it. the mistake is there, so that he learn. and when he learn, it become experience:D
so dont forget your ‘belt’ ya banji this raya journey!
Avani-Mehta – True, being obsessed with the mistake done is dangerous to health. Very wise advice… learn to let go 🙂
@k@kPOKPEK I wonder if there is anyone who really learn from his mistake that there’s nothing more to learn. So he will have to learn from others’ mistakes
Come to think of it, isn’t that what we are doing studying history and all 🙂
Filantera – No problem bro..it’s good to have you back.
Making mistake is the foundation of experience. It’s a good thing. But making the same mistake over and over again, is definite NOT a good thing
Can’t wait for the journey. I’m literally counting the hours now
Well, we are human being, that’s why we make mistakes.
And after we made the mistakes, we mistakenly try to avoid what we have done, and that’s very humane.
That’s why we need people around us to remind us, like mom, dad, friends etc.
It’s just we need to be better in the time being, and try not to commit the same mistakes.
Happy Hari Raya to all. Drive safely and take care, bang banji 🙂
Azuwachan – Having people reminding us will also help us learning from mistake better. They after all are more experience and must have had similar experience before.
Happy Aidilfitri to you too wawa.. Maaf Zahir Batin 🙂
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wow, thanks i really needed this. 🙂 hope many of us will learn to utilise those 6 points, i praise God for directing me to this page in my times of need.
Lim Jia Yao – Thank you for visiting. Feel free to come back anytime 🙂
i did something to a friend a short while ago
What i did was wrong and ive done it before, with much the same result.
i havent tried justifying it, im not denying it ive analyzed it
but i cant forgive myself
please help
last time this happened i felt lost and confused for over 4 months
i dont want to repeat my mistake.
please help me
Anonymous – Hm I don’t think I can proceed without any further information. If you want, you can email me. Maybe I can help then.
i stole from a friend and got kicked out of dorm and ruined everything in my life
trying to move on but its too painful
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