Summary – What you should NOT do when people hurt you

This entry is actually dedicated to a friend of mine. Hopefully it will be of use to all of us, especially me.

When people hurt your feeling, calling you names, what would you feel. Definitely rock bottom down. Well, we are human, and it would be very weird if you don’t feel a thing. “Why do people have to say such things?” I can very well say that each of us have or will meet this type of people in our life. The type of people who joke around by hurting other people. And when we say that that is just cruel, they insist that they were just joking. and that we should have sense of humor. The funny thing is, when the joke is on them, they are not that humorous at all.

Don’t we all knew this type of people at least once in our life?

What should we do? I don’t exactly know. Everyone had their own way of dealing with them. But I know exactly what we shouldn’t do…

1) Never run away from them

There will be millions of people like this around the world. Yes, believe me… if you think he is bad, you ain’t seeing anything just yet. There are people even worse and they are all around us. If you give in and run away from the first person, I can assure you lots more will be heading your way. and you will spend your life running.

So be strong. do your very own research on how to deal with him. Either speak to his face that you hated when he make fun of you, or just treat him as invisible man (my favorite). It’s your choice. But never run away… if not, you will be running all your life.

2) We should never let this people affect our life.

There’s a Malay proverb – “Jangan marahkan nyamuk, kelambu dibakar”. Which generally means that if you are mad at something, don’t punish everything else but that thing. Why should you hate yourself? Why should you change? Why do you have to feel miserable for what he did or said?

There are many more important people, worthy of our tears. worthy of our attention like our parents, best friends, and even spouse. These are the people who we deserve our attention, should be our reason for creating or ending a blog. NOT the person who hurt us. So the next time we are going to be hurt by these people, just remember that they are not worth the agony.

So please guys, what would you advise this friend of mine? Any other way to deal with this kind of people?

————— Personal Note ————————–
There’s a quote from Princess Diary that I remember. “You can only be hurt if you allow it to hurt”. Just ponder about it… we can never control people’s mouth. So we should always make a concious decision to NOT allow the insult hurt us. I know it’s easier said than done. But seriously it works. Helped me through a lot of rough time.

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This post has 11 comments.


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  1. Pocket
    03 Sep 07 2:37 pm

    its harder to do than said bro…
    its harder…
    it is always harder…

    Its easy to throw a staepler to someone when u’r somebody with stripes on your shoulder…
    who wanna sack u over a Material Handler?
    But then again its not a good move.

    Try it when u’r just a clerk n the opponent is a senior… u’ll be sacked before u could say
    ‘it was her fault… she’s callin me names…’

    Its hard to ignore people like dat.
    they just kept on coming with bullet n knife that will cut n hurt u. u just cant ignore the pain when its bleeding inside n your eyes is watering your pillow.

    But then again… ignoring those would only be the best move.
    What else can u do?
    Staepler? 😀

  2. banji
    03 Sep 07 3:27 pm

    Sorry to hear that bro…

    And it’s true that things always harder than said. Anything in life especially when emotion is involved. We can just say do this do that.. but in real life it’s really that hard to do.

    But at least, we know what to do.. So much better than enduring all the pain but don’t know what to do. That’s why some people commit suicide, because that is according to them the best way to end all thing. Just a note : “As a muslim, the problem will not only be unsolved, it is to be suffered forever in hell”

    Quoting – “But then again… ignoring those would only be the best move. What else can u do?”

    This would be a good way to avoid the pain. What else can we do?

    Of course there’s always the difference between suppressing the pain and dismissing the pain.

    Hopefully things will get better bro.

  3. Zura@Kak Long
    04 Sep 07 5:06 am

    kak long selalu menghadapi situasi yang sebegini. Kita cuba berubah bukan kerana diri kita tetapi kerana mahu diterima. At last, I could not take it anymore..kalau dah sampai menghina ibu kita, biarlah kita tidak dicintai mahupun disukai. Ramai lagi yang mahu berkawan..yg penting famili..bukan begitu??:-)

  4. Banji
    04 Sep 07 7:25 am

    menghina ibu tu dah kira cross the line. kalau org tu sanggup hina ibu org lain, maknanya dia sebenarnya menghina ibu dia sendiri.

    betul apa yg kaklong buat tu,nothing is more important than family.

    tp kalau kaklong bleh share, mcm mana kaklong manage ur feeling at the time?

  5. dihaKJ
    04 Sep 07 12:51 pm

    i still dont how to deal with these peeps la banji..
    nk cite pon panjang.. dulu yes, i tried to run away from these type of people.. cume nye now, i think, i shud just let them go and live my own life.. but still sumtimes, mereka ini go over the border line.. i slalu jd org tgh tau, i mean, jd org tgh scr tidak rasmi.. so mcm, A is telling all the tidak puas hati tentang B to me. tapi from what i see, si A nih pon buat jugak ape yg si B nih buat. i nk tegur la perbuatan si A nih.. but i dont know how.. sebab2 utama is si A nih lebih tua dari diha dan a bit susah untuk menegur org2 yg lebih tua nih.. takut nti dikatekan kurang ajar pulak.. so, i pon tal tau la cane.. and now mcm its getting worse pulak i nengok.. so i try to avoid myself from her.. ntah la.. all i want to do is focus on my studies.. itu je..

  6. banji
    04 Sep 07 2:13 pm

    diha – jadi org tengah lah yg paling susah… kite jadi mcm emotional dump.

    yg jadi masalahnya ialah bila semua perkara negatif tu akan lekat kat kite, sebab kite jadi tempat lepaskan perasaan.

    saya tak tau apa yg sebenarnya berlaku, dan kemungkinan besar apa yg ditulis tak relevan. tapi ini pendapat saya…

    diha sendiri tau yg paling penting ialah study. so apa kata tukarkan situasi ni jadi perkara yg menguntungkan diha sendiri. here what u should do….

    tetapkan bila masa diha yg wajib study. since si A tu jadikan diha org tengah.. diha jadikan dia org tengah utk masalah diha. konon2nya diha ada masalah nak belajar. tanya apa pendapat dia. automatically sebagai org yg banyak minta tolong diha, dia akan cuba menolong, bagi nasihat etc.

    then diha cuba mentionkan kat dia yg diha nak cuba disiplinkan diri… pukul 8 sampai 11 masa diha study. takleh buat benda lain. dia dlm niat nak menolong mungkin secara x langsung akan cuba menolong. jadi kurg le sket jadi sesi org tengah tu, dan diha pun boleh lebih study.

    setiap kali dia cuba ajak diha bincang masalah dia, diha mulakan dulu bincang masalah study diha. :)

    harapnya faham apa yg cuba disampaikan ni, tell me how it goes.

  7. sharzefarish
    15 Sep 07 6:24 am

    abang banji…thank you very much for this :)

  8. Banji
    15 Sep 07 8:28 am

    sharze – the pleasure is mine :)

  9. Shweta
    25 Jul 11 3:30 am

    Bt what should we do when our family hurt us again n again?they ignore us n crack joke on us.they feel us tht we r tissue papes.just use n thn throw in dustbin.wht 2 do whn coz their behaviour we feel like orphan?we can ignore other people bt whn our family hurt n insult us,wht should we do?

  10. Azeezat
    17 Sep 11 5:37 pm

    We can never control people’s mouth. So we should always make a concious decision to NOT allow the insult hurt us. I know it’s easier said than done. But seriously it works. Helped me through a lot of rough time. YESOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  11. FUTARE
    09 Aug 12 12:43 pm

    Please keep in mind that you do not cause this people to hurt you. You are not the provoker of this abuse or insult. This people need to take a deep look inside themselves because there is something really wrong with them. I have applied this criteria for so many years; it has helped me to not feel victimised. It is so much easier when you understand that you are not the cause why these people behave the way they do. Just look at them and think how miserable their life is, how empty their hearts are that they feel the need to hurt just because they think they can when the truth is that they do it because there is something terribly wrong with who they are and the life they live.
    Hang in there and choose not to listen. Choose to understand that you are better than them. Choose to believe that your life will be so much better than theirs….in so many ways…I promise it will happen.

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