Summary – Differentiating two guys, a friend and one that has feeling for you
Ms Diha has asked me a question in the comment section of MBBDDH Attitude. First of all, thank you for the question, I will try to explain my opinion on the matter. To all fellow friends reading, feel free to add in to the answer. Together we can chip in all our experience to help each other.
For those who are interested, there is also an article I wrote on How To Know Whether He / She Is The One. Enjoy.
The question – “(Translated to English) How am I supposed to know that a guy likes me? He and I have been friends since primary school, and we became closer these few months. He seems to care so much about me and always offer to send me back to Shah Alam. Once he took a vacation oversea and he SMS’ed me almost everyday, updating his whereabout. He just recently broke up with his girlfriend and he said that he has given up on her.
So how do I know whether he really likes me, or I’m just a rebound?”
A disclaimer (as advised by my lawyer) – Everyone is different, and the method described here may / may not work for you. But I still can guarantee you that it will work for about 80% of the population of the world
That said, here what you should do
Step 1 – Sense the vibe
I’m sure you have pass this step, since you already has a hunch that he is attracted to you. This first step is important. Simply because the heart will be the first to detect if someone else is attracted to you. However, it may not be accurate if you yourself are attracted to him. You will then see everything he does as a sign of his affection for you. Differentiate this first, whether or not the vibe is from you or from him. And then move on to step 2
Step 2 – Ask yourself : Are you attracted to him?
It doesn’t matter if the world’s most eligible bachelor fall for you if you just didn’t have any feeling for the guy. So confirm this first. In your case, I can see that you are attracted to him. So you can just move on to step 3.
Step 3 – Is he worth it?
It’s confirmed. You can sense the vibe from him. He definitely have feeling for you. And so are you. Next you need to determine whether he is ok. You don’t want to be involved with someone who robs bank don’t you?
I admit the 3 steps will not help you to know his true feeling, but still the 3 steps are important to know what exactly you want and whether or not that thing you want is exactly what you need. Moving on..
Step 4 – Watch and jot down the signal
When I say watch for signal, I really mean it. Take a piece of paper, and write it down. If he smile or make effort to “accidentally” bump into you on his way to class, jot that down. I will describe why later.
Some other examples of signals a guy may do
- Going all out for you – When you ask for a call at 11.34am, he actually ask what time is it now according to your watch. And when you are sick, he may buy some hot chicken soup for you. You know what to do right? Pretend that you’re sick and let him know.
- Selfless act – Ask him for help in something he will not gain anything. Maybe pick up a friend at the bus station for you since you are sick
- Make effort to know you – A real love for a guy is when he actually make the effort to know you. He will notice what you like to eat, and what you don’t. He will take note that you are a flower-lover type or not (He may be planning to buy you flowers later on)
So did you write everything he does down? Let’s go to step 5
Step 5 – Analyze and return EXACTLY how much he gave you.
This is very important. Some guys go all out just for a friend. Some will only do that for girls he like. So how to differentiate this?
Easy, if a guy give you a present for birthday, return the favor by giving him a present during his birthday. and most importantly is to NEVER overdo it. If he send you an MMS, you reply back by sending him an MMS. If he introduce you to his friend, you do the same. EXACTLY the same.
Why the words “exactly”? Because a guy who has feeling for you will take this as a hint and will go all out even more. He will always want to show that he loves you even more. If you give him a present during his birthday, he may start giving present during Valentine, or just “because he thinks of you”
You will be able to see how exactly he is trying if you wrote down what he did the first time (Step 4). At one time, his action will just give him away and you can see clearly how much he likes you.
Step 6 – Be flexible
When involving human emotion, nothing is black and white. All the advice above may be spot on and solve your problem entirely. Or they can just solve nothing. So be flexible. Remember, a guy who is attracted to a girl will try in every possible way to show her how he feels. Your mission is to give him a push until his action give his secret away.
- I wonder –
Based on your experience, how do you know if someone has feeling for you?
———- Personal Note ————
Appreciate the question Diha, hope this helps. For everyone else, feel free to shoot me an email or ask questions here. I will try my best to answer them
Photo Credit – LinhNgan