Summary – Please do the test but keep the result to yourself

I actually prefer not to do a relationship topic two days in a row, but this is an important topic very related to the entry of freedom yesterday.

Quoting it – “…But please… never tell your spouse you are doing experiment. Anyone.. and I mean anyone doesn’t like being toyed with. Be very careful…”

It is very common actually for people involving in a relationship to test each other. Some go to great distance like this person Siti (not her real name). Siti want to test her boyfriend whether or not he is faithful to her. She asked a friend of hers to mistakenly call her boyfriend and chat away. She wants to know whether or not the boyfriend will flirt with her friends.

What do I think of such behaviour? Brilliant… In my opinion, girls need to be more careful with the candidate of her future husband. She must know as much information as possible on his behaviour or attitude before she surrendered her heart for this guy. it is sad but true, that there are a lot of bad people out there, and we should try to filter them out by any means necessary

BUT (yes, there is a but)

please… do not do the test, and then brag to your boyfriend that he had been tested and he failed/succeed. Seriously… there is no good can come up from that revelation.

  • The guy will feel like he’s being played and assumed stupid
  • The guy will feel like the girl never trusted him
  • The guy will never trust the girl ever
  • The guy will get revenge and tested the girl.. it will all be a vicious circle

My point is this… For girl – please test your spouse, you should be sure of everything before making that leap of faith. But please don’t tell him you tested him, keep the information to yourself. If he failed, find another reason why you should not be with him. If he succeed, reward him handsomely :p

What do you guys think? 

—————- Personal Note ————-
I really think the mrs had tested me a couple of time during our get-to-know-each-other phase. But alhamdulillah, nothing is revealed to me, and the fact that we end up married must mean that I succeeded heheh

A little secret for all the woman out there, guys also tested the girls, but usually it doesn’t involve a third party. hm the type of test done.. that would make a great entry to this blog, don’t you think?

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This post has 16 comments.


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  1. filantera
    02 Nov 07 8:51 am

    test…….

    mmm dunno, i am against test like using third people actually
    1. kekadang third people tu amik kesempatan, oppurtunist! byk kes kena camtu
    2. lelaki, basically lelaki, akan layan dulu. and then baru siasat. sbb mana tau, itu kawan lama or somebody from the pass.
    3. evaluation: sometime, lelaki tu just tanya, u kat mana, u ni sapa, how do i know u ? how do u get this number……………….then the tester pegi cerita kat girlfriend-ur boy flirt with me……..
    4. sometimes love need time to grow……some people may take a minute , other a year…..some maybe even till another world cup. by that time, any new candidate come, chances are still open. still available gitu. bak kata org… before kawin, buka mata luas luas, selepas kawin, tutup mata rapat2………

    so still, there are so many ways to test each other……

    test his patient….test his kesungguhan……………

    but love actually know no test…….relationship does…

    Love does not push but is willing to wait for the relationship to grow at a rate that is satisfactory to both parties.

    Love is Kind, Love seeks to encourage and build up others. It respects the feelings and emotions of others..

  2. 02 Nov 07 11:10 am

    I would have to vote for NG for Evaluation Test of each other during relation.
    Cause no matter how u cover up even, the story is still there. n one day it might come up.
    Or simply kantoi.
    Then what will happen?
    below kinda words will be quite painful..
    ‘u tak percaya i ker?’
    ‘u guna mamat tu utk test sy? dia tu sapa i ni sapa…?’
    ‘fine … kalau u bleh wat gitu… then i’ll do the same.. u just wait’
    eheh….
    basically whatever the thing dat banji said above la kan. do not reveal the result to the ‘the tested one’ lah kan..
    if by mistake terkantoi… well prepare your 3600 patah perkataan karangan to pecify him 😀

  3. banji
    02 Nov 07 12:34 pm

    filantera – good point…result yg dapat tu pun takkan accurate right? mcm2 boleh jadi. kadang2 we are just being polite, tapi dah disangka lain. dan kalau org yg test tu plak jenis yg percaya bulat2, abih la….

    yg dimaksudkan dlm entry ni, tak bermaksud test dgn third person. tapi SEMUA TEST YG LAIN. mcm filantera jelaskan, test his patient, his kesungguhan etc

    mungkin test kesabaran dia, dgn cara datang lambat sekali sekala dlm date. :) (which actually happens to me, tunggu the mrs sampai 2 jam hehe)

  4. banji
    02 Nov 07 12:35 pm

    DaPocket – NG? stands for what ye?

    yup, the thing about secret is that it almost always will come up sooner or later. So be prepare.. with that essay. some may not be able to take it, and just walk away. that is just the risk you will have to know before pursuing the test

  5. 02 Nov 07 2:05 pm

    Adoi…just recently happen 2 me la..I tested him and warghhh…things become complicated and i have 2 tell him that i tested him..if not…aaaaa…i don’t want 2 think what might happen..I never plan 2 tell him abt that “test” thing tapi 2 la..dah complicated sgt..must tell coz if i tak bgtau..mcm2 finah and pandangan buruk kot kuar..1’st…dia mmg ngamuk..but i explain it step by step why i did that…lembut gak ati dia..mgkn pasal dia pemaaf kot..i don’t know..nak jaga ati i kot..

    Arghhh whatever la..but yeah…i learn from my mistake again…Klo nak test..plan properly..jgn main belasah je..and pasal test guna third people 2..i don’t agree actually.. Unless org 2 among famili..I’ve been through that and guess what..the third people 2 yg dpt my ex..Agagagaga..dah jodoh diaorg kot..hurmmm…

  6. 02 Nov 07 3:17 pm

    errr….trust no one?

  7. filantera
    02 Nov 07 4:28 pm

    ahahah ara~simply the oldest story in the book ….. always happen, malah kalau dikira dlm malaysia ni maybe tiap hari berlaku

    Reid: To get away with murder, you simply don’t tell anyone.~criminal minds…

  8. banji
    02 Nov 07 6:11 pm

    aRa – thanx for sharing your experience. that is why it is very important to plan the testing properly. dan kalau pecah tembelang, kite kena ada jawapan yg betul.

    susah… sebab tu kdg2 lebih baik langsung tak test.

    pasal kes org ketiga selalu end up with the second person tu, mmg kes ni selalu terjadi, ntah le kenapa.. its a rebound thing kut

  9. banji
    02 Nov 07 6:14 pm

    arsaili – it’s not trust no one per se, but more like be sure of the person before giving him your trust.

    We all must admit that some men nowadays are just beasts. There’s a lot of abuse going on both physically and emotionally. So I guess woman does have that right to test her chosen guy. It will be a little too late figuring out the guy when she is already a wife

    At least that’s my opinion, what do u think?

  10. banji
    02 Nov 07 6:27 pm

    filantera – nice quote.. in a dark sort of way hehe

    Anyway, that’s the whole point of discussing this, so that we can learn from each other :)

  11. 02 Nov 07 9:29 pm

    ya filantera.
    keep it to your self, its a secret.
    Known by two people, its a rumor.
    Known by three, its a pengetahuan am

    hahaha…

    NG?
    No Good…

  12. banji
    02 Nov 07 11:57 pm

    DaPocket – hehe tapi selalunya, bila dah dua org tahu pun bakal jadi pengetahuan am

    Orang 2 – eh ko nak tau tak? tapi jgn bagitau sesiapa ye.. bla bla
    Orang 3 – iye?

    Orang 3 – eh ko nak tau tak? tapi jgn bagitau sesiapa ye.. bla bla
    Orang 4 – iye?

    :)

  13. 03 Nov 07 12:42 am

    “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”

    i just don’t know..i got stuck with this quotes from the moment i read it..

    filantera..kisah i 2 kat drama pun dah ade..Agagaga.. Gosh..i’ve been through a lot..

  14. banji
    03 Nov 07 5:22 pm

    aRa – transformers heheh, nice quote :) thats why people always said – there’s a chemistry between us right

  15. 03 Nov 07 6:16 pm

    Banji I wanna know how guys test ther gfs!!!

    Tell us. Tell us. Please…!

    Haha. I think my bf is very childishly innocent so tak pernah terfikir nak test.

    But my Ma did the test for me (without me knowing). She pretended to be a girl. Texted him flirty msg. Called him (he dint even pick up). Yeah she tested me too..

    Btw, I prefer that he got stucked with third party rather than interrupt a test to pull him back to me. (If I did the test la kan). Biar je dia, kalu dah nak menggatal sangat. Why throw urself to unfaithful guy rite???? Leave him, u deserve better.

    Baik dia stray around sekarang dari lepas kawin nanti. Huhhuhuhu.. Menakotkan.. Rite Banji? I know ur a gud husband.. Make ur wife the happiest married girl on earth okie!~

  16. banji
    03 Nov 07 10:24 pm

    Intan – hm InsyaAllah I’ll highlight them here :)

    wah.. your ma sure does a lot of testing ya, now that ur bf already pass the test, it must be green light all the way now right? I pray for the best to both of u

    betul jugak tindakan bg dia stray around skrg dari lepas kawin.. guys ni kdg2 suka let option to still be available, and I guess so are for some girls. Even though it is written in text books that girls are relatively more loyal than guys.

    hm it may sound very cliche, but yes, it is one of my ultimate goal to see the mrs smile every single day :)

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