Summary – Proper Get To Know in Baby Steps

One of the simplest question in the world and yet comes with millions of different answers is this “How do you win a woman’s / guy’s heart?”

Ever wonder why the millions of different answers? The reason is because everyone is simply uniquely different. If you give a girl a flower, she may likes it and find you romantic. Another girl if given the same flower, may actually be throwing it away. If later on she starts to vomit, it’s a sign for you to move on 🙂

So how can we become the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife? How to know the correct way to treat each other? The perfect amount to treat/care for someone?

Well my friend. It is not an easy job. But the whole secret is this – Proper Get To Know in Baby Steps. Let me try to explain this method.

An example, it’s your first date. And you are afraid of saying the wrong things, discussing things that she may not like. So what do you do?

Things she definitely like
First try to talk about things that she must like. For examples, she is studying art. The most accurate assumption is that she likes art. You can try to ask her some small details about art. Whether the subject is hard or not? Don’t ask her to teach you art. She’s going out with you, not her lecturer. Just some small details.

Listen & Make a mental note
This is where people always fail. They just don’t listen. You of all person, should listen to everything she said. There are always hints in her conversation about other things she like.

It is important that you remember what she like. Why? I’ll explain it soon

Start Get-To-Know
Now we probably have some question in mind. For example, does she have sense of humor? what kind of joke she hated? This is where you will have to baby-step your way in. Put up a joke, and if she laugh, make a mental note of that joke.

Don’t immediately attack her then with your Giant Book of Joke. That would annoy anyone. 🙂 So what happen if your joke is not acceptable or hated? Simply just don’t pursue that route. Say sorry and start afresh with another approach. Ask about other things you would like to know, bestfriend, hated lecturers etc.

If all else fail, remember that list of things she like? Use them back. Of course the reintroducing of the topic must be very subtle.

Then what?
By the end of the date, you should know a lot of details about her. What she like? How she like / hate to be treated? What topic is forbidden to talk about? etc

Just imagine you go out with a person who knows exactly what you like to talk about, do exactly what he/she is expected to do.

The keyword is baby-step. You should introduce anything in small detail at first, and if she dislikes the idea, just abandon that idea and move on to the next thing.

Most people already know about this, but most of the time they do 2 mistakes :
1) They rush into things

  • The girl herself is trying to get to know you. Take your time

2) They do not listen

  • How can you know her if you do not listen. And obviously you will be repeating the same mistakes over and over.

– Disclaimer –
The concept is NOT only applied to men. It can be used by both men and women, especially husband and wife, even between friends. 🙂

– I wonder –
Anything else I missed?

——- Personal Note ——–
I am going to tell you a secret. The first time the mrs and I date, I actually bought her a rose. When she saw me standing there with a rose, she actually ran away 🙂 And after I caught up with her, (and after a lot of persuasion) she told me that she dislikes the idea of rose at the first date.

I learnt my lesson and now she is Mrs banji 🙂

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This post has 2 comments.

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  1. 05 Mar 08 12:49 am

    Mrs larik yek…agagagaga…tapi dapet di kejar and akhirnya dapet gak bersama kan…caya la…agagaga…

    Aiyoooo….topik ini…sungguh kena pada i now…i hate when a guy kan…tooooo rushing…this guy i br kenal 1++ week…suda meluahkan perasaan nya itew…i terkezut… he don’t even meet me yet…dah ade perasaan itew…takuttt…

    i lebih suka proses slow and steady…tak yah rush²…kenal hati budi dulu…ngeri la that guy…agagagaga

  2. banji
    05 Mar 08 6:55 pm

    aRa – Don’t every trust a guy who confess to you his love, when he doesn’t even know you. There are a lot of crazy people online nowadays.

    Yes, there is such thing as love at first sight. For the record, that is exactly what happened with me and the mrs. But we take a lot of time knowing each other before we made that leap. Of course the flirtation is there heheh


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