Summary – Are you toxic?

There’s a quote “all we need is love”. And that love will conquer all. that may be true, but there are many kind of love. One type of love will actually do more harm than not being in love. It’s called toxic love.

Here’s how to identify if you have one. Remember, these are all examples of toxic love.. not to be followed :)

1) Obsessed with the relationship
You immediately get angry if he didn’t call or SMS you last night. For you, he should be crazy about you and shouldn’t stop thinking about you. Only you!

Just wait when he forgets the anniversary.. That may be his last day on earth.

Healthy love – There’s a very fine line between being obsessed and being in love. One way to know is to see the whole condition from a third person’s view and imagine being treated the same way. Will you be comfortable?

2) Insist to be the same
You are a fanatic believer of “Couples need to share the same hobby and interest”. You insist that she should try bowling just because you love bowling. And when she clearly doesn’t like bowling, you threaten to break up with her.

Or simply you support political party A, while she support political party B. You keep babling every night to have her change her mind and take offense if she didn’t.

Healthy love – When you’re in love with someone, you should accept her for what she is. Not what you expect her to become. True that we have to better ourselves. That’s maybe the only reason to change.

3) Neglecting social life
Why does he need his friend when he’s already got you. He should have dump all his other friendship and focus only on you. There shouldn’t be any emailing that you’re not informed, or SMS behind your back.

Healthy love – People need some space for himself. Being in love doesn’t mean that he has to sacrifice other friendship. It’s important actually to remain friends with other people. It will keep him alive and sane :)

4) Unreasonable jealousy
She should give all her attention to you, not anybody else. If she had to choose between her brother and you, she should choose you. And most importantly, she should not in any way look at another man when she’s with you. If she does, she will have to go back home by taxi.

Healthy love – there is a quote that jealousy is the sign of love. I would add “Reasonable jealousy is the sign of love”. Jealousy will always be there when you’re in a relationship, but the more important thing is how we react to it.

5) Avoiding the unpleasant
When you’re in a relationship, you demand that only good things happen to both of you. You don’t want to argue, and when there’s an issue raised like he is actually a drug addict, you prefer to ignore the issue and pretend it didn’t happen.

Healthy love – When there’s an issue raised, both of you should discuss it openly and try to find the solution. Relationship is not about accepting the good things only, it’s about you and your spouse providing support to each other in those low time.

/end

Being in a toxic love is very harmful to your own health and the spouse’s. These factors also may be the one thing that will lead to breaking up between couple. So if you do love your relationship, avoid toxic love.

– I wonder –
Anything I missed?

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