Summary – Love yourself first?

What would you say if I tell you that one of the most influential things in life is movies? To make it worse, these movies may have been defining how we should be happy.

I’m sure you watch romantic movies. If you do, most probably you will be familiar with these words

“You are my soul mate”
“You complete me”
“I’ve never feel whole before you”

To tell you the truth, I kind of have a soft spot for romantic movies. Only good ones, not the cheeky ones. And I love those great quotes. They are so beautifully spoken to express how special the spouse is, and how they are the ones that make you truly happy.

However I have a thought, that maybe, just maybe it’s these quotes that have been wrongly defining our happiness. Allow me to explain.

In all those romantic movies, they always try to highlight that the actor is never truly happy unless he is with the actress. or that the actress can only feel complete when he’s with the actor.

Again, don’t get me wrong.. I love a good romantic movie. But don’t you think that we should never put our happiness totally at the mercy of other people, however we love them?

And that we should always first be happy with ourselves. Anybody else, be it our parent or our loved ones will only add to the happiness?

I deliberately ask “Love yourself first?” in my summary as I myself am still torn between the idea of loving ourselves first or loving others first. What do you think? Do you agree with the idea?

—– Personal Note ——
Yesterday was quite an excitement, the mrs had an unusual pain so I quickly took her to the hospital to be checked. Apparently it was just false alarm 🙂

365 days ago, I wroteCredit Card Scam

Photo Credit –  Osvaldo Zoom

Don't want to miss a single tip? Get updates via RSS (Full) or Email

Appreciated action :

This post has 10 comments.

Pictures & Avatar next to all comments are courtesy of Gravatar
  1. 16 May 08 8:22 am

    Well, if you gotta love someone, then better love unconditionally, else you gonna feel miserable if he or she treats you bad. 🙂

  2. filantera`
    16 May 08 9:26 am

    but to simplify it, love is never equal to happy.
    to love someone, sometime will bring other feelings too.


    we cant simply live with only sugar right!

  3. 16 May 08 10:54 am

    I do think that we should love ourselves first. Even the bible somehow teaches that. The commandment of the Lord said “love thy neighbor as you love yourself.” Therefore, you will not know the meaning of loving other people if you don’t first care for and honor yourself. You cannot give what you do not have.

  4. 16 May 08 12:34 pm

    it is so true; LOVE YOURSELF FIRST, and that is the most important.
    I don’t know about others, but for me to love others is to love yourself first.
    It’s not about being selfish, but what I mean is to know what you really want so that when you have to choose something out of your life, you’ll know what’s the best for you. So that the choice you make will at least give you the satisfaction.
    But for some, they do not see this. And when it comes to making choices, they end up following other’s suggestion, which may not satisfy the self.
    But yes, sometimes to love someone is to love yourself. It all depends on the individual, finally 🙂

  5. 16 May 08 7:48 pm

    Good point taken

    Deimos Tel’Arin – If you gotta love someone, then better love unconditionally

    filantera – love is never equal to happiness

    Jane – You will not know the meaning of loving other people if you don’t first care for and honor yourself

    azuwachan – To love someone is to love yourself

    As for me, I really think that we need to be happy with ourselves first. This is the most important simply because if we cannot find happiness in ourselves, how can we find one in others.

  6. 16 May 08 7:50 pm

    salam your entry this time..[actually i always love your entries..huhu~]

    urm, love yourself before you love somebody’s true..but someyimes, when we love somebody, we [i intend to say I] always forget to love ourselves [myself] in the end..because when we love someone, we [I] will always put him or her in front, no matter what..

  7. 16 May 08 8:53 pm

    remember the romantic story of a male butterfly
    who come as early as he can to
    prove that he luv his female butterfly
    more only to find his luved one is
    dead inside the flower since she was there from yesterday?

    that is a true example of not luving yourself first.
    i mean.. what is luving without ‘the one’ to luv

  8. 16 May 08 10:41 pm

    fairuzniza – Thank you for loving the entries 🙂 Still a lot to improve

    Anyway, If I remember correctly there’s a saying “Love is blind”. Maybe that’s why we can sometimes forget to love ourselves and focus all our attention to him/her.

    Nothing’s wrong with that, except that we must try to slowly put ourselves first before others. Be happy with ourselves first before seeking happiness from others. Because, we may never know whether it’s happiness or sadness that we will get from him/her.

    DaPocket – I’ve never heard of such story. Really appreciate it if you can tell it to us 🙂

    “What is luving without the one to luv” – a great quote indeed

  9. 17 May 08 8:52 pm

    uncle..i want to share a lyric of a song with you..the song is entitled ‘menjaga hati’, by yovie and’s about ‘he’ who would just wait for ‘her’ and still be there, even ‘she’ is running away from ‘him’…

    masih tertinggal bayanganmu
    yang telah membekas di relung hatiku
    hujan tanpa henti seolah pertanda
    cinta tak di sini lagi kau telah berpaling

    biarkan aku menjaga perasaan ini, ohh
    menjaga segenap cinta yang telah kau beri
    engkau pergi, aku takkan pergi
    kau menjauh, aku takkan jauh
    sebenarnya diriku masih mengharapkanmu

    masih adakah cahaya rindumu
    yang dulu selalu cerminkan hatimu
    aku takkan bisa menghapus dirimu
    meski ku lihat kini
    kau di seberang sana

    andai akhirnya
    kau tak juga kembali
    aku tetap sendiri
    menjaga hati

    sejujurnya diriku masih mengharapkanmu

    p/s–the song had just show us that we [I] would never mind to let ourselves [myself] get hurt for the one we [I] love.., especially the last verse..hmm..

  10. banji
    20 May 08 2:02 am

    fairuzniza – What can I say, if we find pleasure in love by getting hurt. Then that’s maybe the best way for us to love.

    Hm.. I have no problem with unconditional love. A pure kind of love that expect nothing in return, and always prioritizing our loved ones than our own self. But, hurting ourselves intentionally for me will always feel wrong 🙂

    p.s. I actually found the song.. Thanks for sharing

banji Read In Your Email

Please enter your email address
    Unconventional Guides
    Advertise here
    Handbook for Life