Summary – WARNING : one of the hardest thing to do in life

The Scenario

Imagine you are in a room. Guess what, there’s a bomb in the room next door and that bomb will only starts to countdown when you enter the room. To make things more interesting, you are a bomb expert, and if anyone can disarm that bomb, it would be you.

What would you do?

The bomb will only tick when someone enters that room. You can be evil by ignoring it, and it’s someone else’s problem. Or you can lock the door to the next room, and finish what ever your business is in this first room (taking your time).

If you choose the latter option, which is taking your time. Will you be worried about the bomb next door? The room is locked, and the bomb is not ticking yet. Why should you be worry?

This is actually the secret to being calm. Which is to live now. Not in the future or in the past, but now.

The Past Person

Some people like to live in the past. They may have done something good, or bad in their past, and they really love to think about that. For example, a man may have received so many rejection from girls that he now doesn’t have any confident to speak to girl. A lot has change to this guy, he may have good job, with good money. His behavior also may have changed to better, but still his mindset is in the past. He still prefer to think about all the rejection he had and thus fail to live in the now.

The Future Person

Another set of people, like to live in the future. They worry too much about their life. What will happen if they didn’t have enough money for retirement? or if there is an accident? Or what if their teenagers rebel and join a cult.

Now this is a tricky one. Don’t stop thinking about the future. But try to differentiate between planning for the future and worrying about the future. Take the retirement issue for example. He can worry all day long, but still he can’t do anything about it. Unless of course he can find an extra one million that day. What he need to do, is to plan how much is enough, and try to work in reverse on how to achieve that amount. As long as he stick to his plan, he shouldn’t be worry at all.

The Now Person

Live in the now. Coming back to the bomb disarmer in the room. What he should do is to take his time, watch some movie, or order some Burger King. Enjoy his “now”. But in the same time, prepare all his tool for the bomb, and maybe brush up his knowledge on the most recent bomb cases. That’s planning.

He should open the door only when he’s ready. And at that time, only focus about disarming the bomb. Nothing else. He shouldn’t be thinking about the movie he just watched or the burger he just ate. Just the bomb.

Don’t you think he is a very calm man?

– I wonder –
Which are you, a past person or a future person?

——— Personal Note ———-
I must admit, I am a past kind of person. I like to linger my mind to the past. My reason is so that I will not forget all the memories since all of them are that precious to me. In my opinion, doing this sometimes is OK. Just don’t let any of the past experience affect you.

Don’t you agree that living in the now is very hard to do?

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This post has 24 comments.

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  1. 22 May 08 8:47 am

    Actually, a bit of past and future is good.

    Remember past mistakes, so we do not repeat them.

    Plan ahead, so we know what to do when the time comes.

    Most importantly, is to live in the present, of course.

    What does past, now and future has to do with being calm our entire life anyway? -_-

  2. banji
    22 May 08 12:44 pm

    Deimos Tel`Arin – Appreciate the question. let me try to further elaborate..

    What I meant by being calm is to not have any worry. No worry that our past mistake will still be repeated, no worry of a future we can’t do much about.

    But of course, the two (past and future) exist for a purpose too. As you said, the past is for us to learn from, and the future is for us to hope for. I’m not disagreeing to that πŸ™‚ just that we need to know how to differentiate these two

    1) suffering our past and learn from our past
    2) worrying about our future and planning for our future.

  3. 22 May 08 3:47 pm

    Ah, I see it now. Okay.

    Your article can be summed up in four (4) words then.

    “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.”


    Gotta love this song by Bob Marley.

  4. banji
    22 May 08 4:24 pm

    Deimos Tel`Arin – πŸ™‚ And how many words are there in that song by Bob Marley? How many instrument used?

    I wonder if that song will be accepted, if there are no music, no words, and only one fellow repeating the words “Don’t worry, be happy” over and over again

  5. 22 May 08 8:48 pm

    I am a now person. I think I always have been. This is why I become so annoyed with people who not only live in the past but live in the past, and if that’s not futile enough, with alternate realities playing out…ie, with the “what if this had happened” or “what if he didn’t have you” or “what if she had said THIS?” or “what if he had done THAT?” scenarios?

    I have a friend who does this and I seriously want to sometimes just say, “SHUT UP!”

    Then I have a friend who alternates potential realities in the future and awfulizes each and every one. They have NEVER EVER come to pass as she would anticipate. Why does she continue?

    She continues because living in the now is too painful for her.

    If she actually stopped projecting into the future – like my friend who projects alternate realities [that could NEVER happen due to the nature of their being passed] to the past…if they both just STOPPED, they would have to sit in the NOW and face their life.

    That’s just too painful for some people.

    I like this old tired cliche… If you have one foot in tomorrow and one foot in yesterday, you can’t help but to be anatomically crapping/pi$$ing on today. The meaning is well-received for me anyway.

    REALLY good topic.


  6. 22 May 08 9:25 pm

    I think I’m a now person, which is why I keep on being positive and optimistic.
    but sometimes I’m a future person, especially when it comes to exams, hehe.. couldn’t help it πŸ˜€
    and sometimes I’m a past person, especially when I recall back the sweet memories with friends and families.

    the conclusion is, we cannot run from being these three. at least that’s what I think πŸ™‚
    good or bad, that’s the individual choice.

  7. 22 May 08 9:49 pm

    If you have one foot in tomorrow and one foot in yesterday, you can’t help but to be anatomically crapping/pissing on today.

    i like this, uncle..and it’s soooo true.. πŸ™‚

  8. banji
    22 May 08 10:55 pm

    Samsara – Now that you mention it, yes, there are people who like to live in their alternate reality. “If only I took the job, I would become filthy rich by now” – This is said in regret. This person should think about millions of people worldwide without a job. And when he keep on saying things like that, he is not only dragging his spirit down, he is being the negative source in the company.

    What he should do is to stop that immediately, come back to earth and just do his work the best he can. At least he will be better at something right?

    Thank you Samsara for this extra point of view.

    Do you have any idea on how to make these people put both of their leg in one place – (Today)?

    azuwachan – Very true. All three (past, now and future) is there for a reason. It’s for us be inspired by them and not consumed by them

    fairuzniza – I like it too.. Funny and in the same time inspiring quote will usually stuck automatically in my mind πŸ™‚

  9. 23 May 08 9:33 pm

    I am past person and now person. More on past person I think. My personality now is come from my past, that people sometimes found that so hard to understand me. I always avoid or think about future, i really hate that, its happened because a failures from my past. My past make me a very negative person, and I only think about what i have to do now and it makes me so relax.

  10. 23 May 08 9:51 pm

    I am a past person – I believe that past experiences is what shapes the current me, and it’s my past that defines who I am. Just like you’ve said, I tend to dwell on things that have already happened – like how I’ve embarrassed myself in front of my friends, my painful college years and etc, but it feels good that those past experiences have made me to motivate myself to change for the better πŸ™‚

    Being slightly pessimistic in life and almost an introvert, I am definitely not a future person – I don’t hold much optimism for the future, and don’t expect returns or anything. I will only focus on what I currently have, what I currently need to handle.

    Well, that makes me a past-now hybrid!

  11. banji
    23 May 08 11:49 pm

    amirahsyuhada – The good thing is now you know that you are a very negative person. I’m assuming by negative, you meant that you prefer not to dream big into the future to avoid disappointment, is this assumption correct?

    If it is, it’s actually up to you. If you want to change, I would suggest dream small dream first. Maybe to cook the most delicious food in the world πŸ™‚

    Hope and dream is some of the best thing in life

    teddY – Very true. our past experience are the ones that shape us into what we are now.

    Reading through your comment, I am actually impressed that sometimes being slightly pessimistic in life can help us living in the now better πŸ™‚

    There’s always new things to learn everyday. Welcome to the blog Teddy

    24 May 08 3:09 am

    I am a little of all but i must say that is one of the best articles I have read in along time I have anxiety depression cancer twice broke both my feet last year and would love to have a copy of that to reae could you email it to me kinda like the serenity prayer but different I need to leave that bomb locked up in that room why tackle something if you really dont need to great blog

  13. banji
    24 May 08 10:01 am

    LUCKYLADY – Thank you.. I’m sorry to hear about that unfortunate last year. But I’m sure in a way, all that challenge is shaping you into a better person now, right? Surviving all that and you can still have be happy with your life is not an easy thing to do. Kudos

    I would love to send you an email. But just to be sure, are you referring to this article?

    Welcome to the blog Luckylady πŸ™‚

  14. 03 Jun 08 1:08 pm

    I agree that living in the present keeps one calm. I think the secret of posessuing true joy in the present lies in developing the gift of appreciation. We must appreciate that all things work towards good, that we are part of a greater universe, that we have everything we need to be happy, and life is good. Being appreciative of the “here and now”, even when it is less than perfect, creates true joy.

  15. banji
    03 Jun 08 5:36 pm

    Genie – Agree, Being appreciative will make us more alive at any moment. We will appreciate every breath we took, and every color we see πŸ™‚

  16. Jothi
    12 Mar 09 4:09 pm

    the article is really good… i feel all those who have negative thought (due to past failures) must read this article… Bcoz i am of that kind…
    I am a person gifted with good talents( pencil sketching, chalk carving, sports..)… as i have not recieved any recognition from my parents, teachers..etc. i felt like what to do with those thing.. and even not spending little time for those…

    But now (after reading this article)i ve decided to make some thing new ( and small) with my gifts…

  17. 12 Mar 09 8:20 pm

    Jothi – Thank you for reading Jothi. If you do have friends that may benefit from the article, feel free to share it with them.

    If you don’t mind, please snap a few pictures of your art and send it my way. With you permission of course, I will put it up here in the article πŸ™‚

  18. Jothi
    19 Mar 09 12:43 pm


  19. Jothi
    19 Mar 09 12:45 pm

    I have a question… but i dont have a clear/correct answer to it..


  20. 31 Mar 09 11:33 pm

    Jothi – If your question is meant for the defining success, I will delightedly share my opinion on the matter πŸ™‚

    Was that your question?

  21. […] The Secret To Being Calm Your Entire Life […]

  22. […] The Secret To Being Calm Your Entire Life […]

  23. Sheryl
    24 Aug 11 3:35 am

    I have to say I balance all three. I always look at the past because Past dictates your future. I try to learn from my past so my future will be smoother. What I mean by that is I was in a 5 year marriage and got divorced. By looking at my past pattern, I was able to admit that I was such an evilish jealous woman. Although my husband belongs to a band and a wrestling team so naturally, he was surrounded by women. Now I realize that he wasnt always flirting, he loves the attention but he always reminded me that his heart belongs to me because they are just fans.

    To make the long story short, by analyzing what i did in the past, I have kicked Jealousy’s ass out of my system! I am very proud to say that i have overcome jealousy. im now in a relationship where jealousy is handled more maturely. And Im able to live a life with less worry if my mate will cheat.

    I appreciate this article because sometimes Anxiety comes and goes. I have so much worry about the future that sometimes Im up until 3 or 4 am and have to get up at 6am! Its awful.

    We all know the right thing to do in situations, but sometimes it helps that it comes from someone else. It makes a bigger impact!

    Thanks for the article, It has helped me today. im at work and anxiety came over me. hearing about Government shutdown and Economic Armageddon, Just puts fear in my heart that were all just sitting ducks.

  24. Penny
    13 Mar 12 7:10 am

    I am a future person. I am a worrier. I sit around and imagine the worst possible scenarios always! Sometimes it is in preparation for the future sometimes there is no way to prepare so it just makes me panic about the now. Everything is more important than it needs to be things that should feel natural feel like a risk. I have to force myself to be calm. The thing is it was never this bad but recently a man has been involved and things aren’t stable. He says he likes me but I just worry all the time. I know that this worry will only push people away and make things worse. It’s just things have been up and down with him and when they were down I never saw it coming. Now I don’t know what to do. I didn’t mind being a future person when I was more of an optimist now I’m just waiting for things to get worse because I don’t see them getting better. I understand that optimism has nothing to do with what I believe will actually happen but rather the way I choose to perceive what happens and the way I choose to respond to what happens. I know what needs to be done I am by nature though a very intense person. It works in my favour at times but right now it’s ruining things.

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