Are You In A Relationship That Doesn't Make Sense?

Summary – Why do things that do not make any sense in a relationship?

The Story

It’s a typical love story. Boy meets Girl, Boy fall in love with Girl, Boy don’t know how to treat Girl, Boy and Girl break up.

The break up can be due to a lot of reasons. I am going to use this scenario though to elaborate.

In the mind of the Boy :”I must not show that I’m weak, she will never like me if I’m weak. I shouldn’t say that I love her. That is a sign of weakness and romantic. No girls will like me then.”

In the mind of the Girl :”All I need is a small gesture of affection. Does he even like me? He doesn’t even say hi to me when we met just now. Am I wasting my time waiting for him to approach me?”

Does this relationship makes sense to you?

Why do we do things that do not make any sense. If the boy really likes the girl, he should have said so. Or at least gave out hints of his feeling. Pretending that she does not exist just to look cool in front of her doesn’t make sense at all.

The Bigger Application

No worries. Almost everyone will do things that do not make any sense every once in a while. Some typical examples of things we do in a relationship that do not make sense are such as:

  • You love the spouse but you never show that you love her.
  • You miss her so much but you never call her.
  • You do everything to get her to love you, but when she completely in love with you, you take her for granted.
  • You said nothing is more important than her, but every chance you have, you will run to your computer replying emails and comments on blog.

I don’t think I need to put it in words that this applies to both man and woman. We do a lot of things that do not make any sense in our relationship. We should take note of them and do something about it.

Change a few things in your relationship today that will make more sense to you. If you love her, tell her exactly that. Don’t hide that emotion from her.

If you want him to adore you, be someone he can adore. He will just be annoyed if you keep annoying him. It’s as simple as that.

– I wonder –
What else doesn’t make sense in a relationship?

———— Personal Note ————
During my early days of blogging, I must admit that I had some trouble balancing my time between blogging and family. Fortunately for me, the mrs was very understanding and supportive. I quickly learnt my lesson and adjust accordingly.

In the end, nothing is more important than family.

Photo Credit – DerrickT

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This post has 11 comments.


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  1. 04 Dec 08 12:45 am

    hey hey, the fourth example hit me right smack on my nose bridge.
    everytime i’m home, the first thing i do is push the on button for
    me beloved comp. hahahahah….

    agree wit u on that one bro!!
    luv them, then tell em,
    show em, make em feel,
    atleast the ball is on her court now
    to throw back :_)

    nice post bro!!

  2. 04 Dec 08 9:32 am

    guyz are the one who always do not make sense in r/ship. i hate them! haha

  3. 04 Dec 08 5:05 pm

    Pocket – I’m sorry for that. It is totally not intentionally. I actually wrote it based on what I’ve done. This must be the hardest challenge for a blogger, balancing life and blog.

    Moon – Relationship is always about two person. So it is quite unfair to say that only guys do this :) Please stop hating us

  4. 06 Dec 08 12:47 am

    The problem is that many of these techniques work in order to attract the other person. Sometimes, you have to act completely opposite to how you feel in order establish the initial contact. For example, you shouldn’t come across as too eager while dating. These things then translate to the relationship later.

  5. 07 Dec 08 1:29 pm

    Great blog, good information.

  6. banji
    08 Dec 08 2:37 pm

    Steve C – That’s an interesting way to observe the techniques. Just to be clear, the articles are written to be applied by husbands and wives.

    Thank you for the additional view Steve

    Tim – Thank you for reading

  7. 29 Jan 09 3:00 pm

    theres a lot of thing that doesnt make any sense in relationship and it can be funny or silly things sometimes…

  8. 23 Apr 09 12:55 am

    hehe pocket terkena! 😛

  9. kk
    01 Feb 10 1:26 pm

    God, the aurther speak out my mind. I was always waiting for guys to approach me or want him to adore me. I guess, I have to change the way facing a relationship.

  10. […] Are You In A Relationship That Doesn’t Make Sense? […]

  11. julliet_aty
    20 Sep 11 6:32 pm

    the second one “You miss her so much but you never call her..” is just about my bf!!! Its worht mentioning that we are in distance relationships…

    I mean he calls once in a few days…but then the days when he doesnt call me I start thinking that those days he doesnt care about me, so I start doing the same – calling & messaging him less often… But as it turns out to be at the end he tells me that I dont care about him & dont love him, he is jelous to (i hv no idea whom) and he is frustrated! May be its also coz I started hanging out more often. Mainly in order to stop thinking about him & not call him too often, as Im afraid to be annoying! And also let him loose his interest in me – since guys r considered hunters..and if they r sure for 100% about ur feelings then they may start taking u for granted, and end up loosing interest in u!

    Lately he was really frustrated & had doubts (!) of whether my feelings to him are sincere, he demanded me to make him a surprise for him to prove my feelings! That was a shock for me! I thought I was the one who should be mad – he didnt call me last 1 week or so…
    Then I used to think that guys should be initiators in relationships (including calls, etc.), but then my frnd told me 1 good thing – Relationships are about 2 people!!! So I did a surprise for him! And he loved it! Now Im getting ready to go where he lives & look for a job there! So we gonna move from distance relationships to real ones!!! Finally! <3

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