Run Away

Summary – Problems are meant to be solved not hidden hoping it will go away.

Today, one of the machine in the mill had a breakdown. When we had a look, we can see some scratches at the shaft (Actually there’s more damage to it, but let make this simple). I then asked “How is this get scratched?” The operator said he know nothing of it and the workshop personnel back him up by saying this is normal. I was surprised at the answer, because damage like that cannot be normal. Something must have cause it. And for the workshop personnel to say it normal means that they’ve encountered the damage previously but were lazy to follow up and investigate. They just replaced the shaft.

Yes, there is such thing as wear and tear in the industry but I know wear and tear when I see one. This is not wear and tear.

In short, we investigated and solved the problem. The reason I highlighted this is because it a typical practice for us to hide the problem rather than face it. Investigation to find the cause of the damage is very tedious and time consuming, Yes I know. But it had to be done. Or else the problem will keep recurring.

This is not only bound to engineering problem, but to all of our life problem. If we somehow hurt our loved ones’ feeling, usually we will just try to apologize or worse just sleep on it, hoping tomorrow everything will be back to normal. This will not solve the problem, instead the problem will accumulate until one time, all hell break loose. Unfortunately for us, relationship is not like a machine where we can just overhaul or get a new one.

So please, if we’ve hurt our better half’s feeling, talk it over. If talking and open up feelings are not a culture in your relationship, start it immediately. You (the man) will not be weak by expressing your feeling, but of course don’t be overly emotional. and you (the woman) will be better understood if you speak up your feeling once in a while, but of course as gentle as possible.

————— Personal Note ————————–
There is a phrase taken from Dr. Fadzilah Kamsah talk on relationship in Era on how to persuade your husband to do things around the house. Somehow I remember them. Caution – husband and wife conversation follows…Wife – Bertuah saya dapat abang ni tau, abg ni baik, suka tolong di dapur.
Husband – Iye? (Hati berbunga2)
Wife – Tapi kan…. kalau abg boleh tolong saya basuh pinggan.. lagi saya terharu.
Husband – (knows already the wife actually want some help with the dishes) Ye la.. I’ll do it for you 🙂
Wife – Tq 🙂

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This post has 18 comments.

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  1. Noushy Syah
    23 Jul 07 9:03 pm

    ngeh ngeh…

    Give him a quickie kiss and say” emmm, your BBQ is gr8 sayang….next time bole buat lagi..” even if it turns out to be not the way you wish for…and cont saying,tapi kalau tambah honey and lemon grass mesti lebih sedap lagi..”

    ..perhaps you might know better, right Banji…

    …Should be dare to tell the truth and upfront especially if it involves the intimacy…find the cause and treat accordingly in order to move on.If the problem continues, be sure to talk about it.Tackle it together..

    If you are going to work things out, it has to be a team effort…kalau diam aje, how would you solve the problems, especially in a relationship..

  2. Banji
    24 Jul 07 12:02 am

    noushy – agree with that, some ppl use silent treatment to send out the message, i dont hv a problen with this with the condition that ultimately the two sit down and talk it over.

    love the bbq with honey, suddenly im hungry eheh

  3. filantera
    24 Jul 07 12:57 am

    huhuhuh agree and agree

    maybe sesetengah tu lebih suka wat action of “do nothing” when suppose they “do something” kan….

  4. Banji
    24 Jul 07 1:30 am

    filantera – lama x makan bbq kan? that alone is worth the trip to kedah

    tu la, do nothing memang established option dlm engineering tapi ia hanya khas utk masalah engineering je, other problem in life usually cannot be solved by changing the whole set 🙂

  5. alfattah
    24 Jul 07 6:36 am

    yes!!!women have to speak up n not just keep it to themselve n expect men to read their minds…
    communication is important to achieve mutual understanding and to keep the relationship real.
    n yes they have to approach it gently..hehe couldnt agree more..

  6. k o r o m y s t
    24 Jul 07 6:38 am

    Hehehe… and this is the basic remedy that you’ll find in most animes where the main chara would always have to face their probs or fear sooner or later and end their forever habit of running away like chickens. See? Even animes highlight such a point. LOLz xD

    This issue somehow brings out a question. If you were afraid of roaches, like freakin’ afraid, would you :

    # be a man, face the prob, inhale, exhale, inhale… then crush the roach with your feet – no slippers on! O__O Yes! YOU ARE A MAN!! *applause inserted*

    # run around the house screaming in horror thus acting out the phrase “running from your problems” LOL xDDD

    # use the cheapshot way of spraying the roach with insect spray xP one way of solving a problem smart, quick and effective – but then, you’re going to be inhaling dizzying gas fumes

    # ignore the little critter. As a matter of fact, you and it happens to be friends of two different worlds O_o another sample of “not wanting to face a problem” since after killing the lil dude, you’ll have the problem of dumping the body afterwards xDDD

  7. Banji
    24 Jul 07 7:29 am

    alfattah – yup, as u said must keep the relationship real,real meaning problem definitely will occur. however close the couple,we can never read the other person’s please let it out (of course as nicely as possible).both will so much better as long as the aim is always to solve the problem

    appreciate alfattah for not being a silent reader today 🙂 thanx

  8. Banji
    24 Jul 07 7:35 am

    koromyst – anime wise i will have to take ur word for it eheh i only watched a few

    about the roaches example i guess it’s totally up to u on how to solve the problem. as long as u are doing something about it, u are already doing great.

    so personally how do u approach ur roaches problem? 🙂 curious..

  9. intankamaruddin
    24 Jul 07 7:46 am

    good tips.
    wanna share my version.
    girl: i may not be replying ur sms tau. kredit nak abes dah. kena save.
    later, ting! ting! *dapat kedit baru*
    heheh. ur rite, most of problems in r/ship rise bcoz women n men tend to communicate in misunderstandable language.

  10. filantera
    24 Jul 07 8:39 am

    ur point is:
    the girl is actually dont want to sms more so she created the reason?


    is she really in need of credit sponsorship?plz clearify….used to face this probs sometimes….er i mean a lot!!

  11. Banji
    24 Jul 07 8:47 am

    intan – i like the phrase ‘misunderstandable language’ eheh

    maybe it’s also cultural. im not sure about others, but malay do hv a lot of ‘kiasan’ in our speech, this is of course an example of the beauty of the language, but if used excessively ppl will misinterpret the whole msg entirely.. example

    A-ngantukla tp nak tgk bola (harapkan B buatkan kopi)

    B terus ke bilik mengambil bantal

  12. Noushy Syah
    24 Jul 07 12:44 pm

    “A-ngantukla tp nak tgk bola (harapkan B buatkan kopi)

    B terus ke bilik mengambil bantal”

    Hahhaha Banji…in my case, if A said like that then I will say,it’s ok you tidolah kalau nantuk sebab I memang nak tgk bola nih…

    *coz I love watching EPL especially!! hahahhaa..*

  13. pocket
    24 Jul 07 2:33 pm

    hummm filantera… facing a lot of that cond. with the unreplied sms
    yeh?.. heh…

    if your awek beats u up a lot…
    like simply tumbuk your left dagu
    till u bleed your gum.
    how do u sit down and talk bout it?
    ‘awak awak… jangan tumbuk sy lg
    yeh.. sakit lah…’
    ‘eleh… gitu pun nak nangis…’

    hah hah!!

  14. Banji
    24 Jul 07 2:34 pm

    noushy – heheh hope you’re happy with A :p

  15. Banji
    24 Jul 07 2:40 pm

    pocket – that’s really happening aa pocket? obviously u will have to sit a bit farther la…

    But I understood your point of view. Usually not many people like to sit down and solve the problem immediately. Emotional and ego will always get in the way.

    That’s why in Islam we have that 3 days period, so you just let him/her cool down. There’s no point trying to talk sense with emotional ppl. It doesn’t mean you are avoiding the problem, you are handling it very wisely 🙂 My 2 cents

  16. pocket
    24 Jul 07 3:28 pm

    hell its not me who got beaten…
    heheh… just an idea…
    but i do heard couples which have
    those kinda issue.
    they luv each other…
    but the gal hit the guy like he’s
    a punchin bag.

  17. Banji
    24 Jul 07 5:20 pm

    pocket – I know it was not you.. just joking.

    Perhaps the couple should start doing kickboxing together… 🙂

  18. intankamaruddin
    30 Jul 07 5:43 am

    filantera: hahaha i do that to manipulate but i dont know abt ur girls. Lol!

    Ade betul eh org suke main tumbuk dagu sampai gum bleeding? Hahahha. Dagu cute sgt kot!

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