Summary – Important to establish these 5 very early in a marriage

Tomorrow is going to be the biggest day in my brother’s life, DaPocket. No more a bachelor, he will then be a husband 🙂

Things will be quite different after you get married. I’ve stressed this in the past, and I think it is that important to stress it again now. However, no need to worry, the changes is only for the better.

Unless both of you had married before, you will have no idea what to expect. So this is my early gift to you.. A list of things you should establish very early in your marriage.

1) To err is human. Establish with her that you will make mistake, she will make mistake. When any of you did make a mistake, the other should be able to forgive. You may not like it if she call you when you’re working, she may accidentally called you. So please forgive her. It will take some time for her to know you.

2) New parents. Her family is now your family, and so is your family is now hers. Family will always come first. And both of you must understand that. Never ever use family as tools in your marriage. For example, “I will not let you visit your folk if you keep bothering me when I work!”. These types of talk should never come across your mind.

3) Money spending. This is a very sensitive issue. She works and you work. Establish very early how the both of you are going to spend your money. How much to save? Who will have the final say as such. Bear in mind, that in Islam, a working wife’s salary is hers to keep. You should not be using that money for the family unless she’s willingly give you the money.

4) Bad day. Sometimes bad days happen. The two of you may argue on a matter. Establish how both of you are going to end the argument. Personally I’m practising the rule that neither of us (me and the mrs) should go to bed angry. We settle any argument or hurt feeling beforehand. Alhamdulillah, so far it’s working quite well

5) Alone Time. Both of you must understand this very clearly. yes, you two now a partner in life, and must share everything. But, there will be time when all we need is some alone time. A time for us to do what we want. I am thankful that the mrs (my mrs of course) is very understanding of my blogging activity. She would give me some alone time for this. Just remember, alone time doesn’t mean that you dislike the company. You just need some time just for you.

– I wonder –
what else do you guys think, of things we should be established before hand?

———— Personal Note —————
At the moment I’m posting this articles, I am probably already on the highway half way back. Tomorrow it will be busy busy day, cleaning up the house, putting up some decoration.

Will definitely post up pictures later.. 🙂

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This post has 6 comments.

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  1. filantera`
    06 Feb 08 8:21 am

    good tips bro, heheheh even for those yg belum kawin:P

  2. 06 Feb 08 12:57 pm

    filantera – i know you will be able to extract the unwritten message in there 🙂

  3. 07 Feb 08 1:07 am

    Its takes sometimes to view the true colours of our counterpart! Sometimes it could take more than ten years of marriage! Sometimes they change, sometimes they don’t! Learn to accept what ever our partner’s true colours!

  4. 07 Feb 08 10:49 pm

    To err is human, is the hardest thing to do by early married couple, but that is the most important thing. Easy to say lah..for me as i am not married yet.huhu

  5. 08 Feb 08 2:22 pm

    no clue on commenting this article..Agagagaga…all i know 2-2 kena bertolak ansur and saling memahami antara 1 sama yg lain..don’t bcoz of small matter become a big matter udah..

  6. banji
    09 Feb 08 2:43 am

    Merakemas – I strongly believe it will take many many years before we can be considered as knowing our betterhalf in and out. And learning to accept any colors that may show eventually is really a good advice 🙂

    amirahsyuhada – to forgive someone after he/she hurt us is one of the hardest thing to do. Especially that someone is the one we love the most.

    But it has to be done, we can never expect him/her to perfect just like we want right? 🙂

    aRa – you heard that DaPocket? 🙂 never allow the small matter to become big matter, compromise is always the key to happiness in a marriage

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