Advice

Summary – An experiment on giving advice with a twist

It’s time for another experiment. Hm I guess I should create another category just for some of the experiments I proposed here.

The objective of this experiment to bring up the hidden life-consultant in you. I bet, there must be once in your life that another person came to you and asked for your advice. The advice may be about career, relationship or just plain stress relieving talk.

Some people argue that they just don’t know how to give advice to people. I will have to disagree. Advice is simply our personal opinion on a matter and whether or not the advice will do more harm than good is really beyond our knowledge. Although please refrain from giving really bad advice like commit suicide etc. Here goes –

The Victim
Think about a friend of yours. Of all your friends, choose the most problematic. He may be on the verge to commit suicide due to stress, or maybe is convinced that he is alone in the world and that nobody really cares about him. These are just examples of how problematic the friend is. Feel free to choose any friend with any problems.

A reminder, don’t call him up just yet :) We are just going to brainstorm some advice for him,

The Analysis
Now try to analyze him. What do you think his REAL problem is? if he is thinking about committing suicide due to stress, then stress is the root of the problem. Again, redefine this problem. What’s causing him the stress? Repeat the redefining process until you have identified the REAL root of problem.

The Advice
Based on your experience and knowledge, how do you advise this friend of yours. It is important that you write those advice on a paper. Just pour it all in. Be as simple and frank as you can be.

The REAL Experiment
Guess what, advising your friend is only the introduction of the experiment. The actual message in this entry is for you to take your own advice. For example, you advise your friend to be more appreciative of his life and what he was given. Redirect that advice to you. Figure out how to be more appreciative of your life and what you were given.

It is almost a fact that we are so much better at criticizing other people than we are at looking at ourselves.

Practise this once a week and we might finally be able to see our own self from other’s point of view.

– I wonder –
Anyone actually do this experiment?

———- Personal Note ———-
This is a totally unrelated personal note. Today after work, I will be heading back to my hometown in Kedah (about 500 km drive). There will be an election this 8th and I’m casting my vote there.

It is so tempting to write a political post here, with all the heated discussion on the matter. But, rest assured, if I will ever do that.. it will be posted on another blog, not here. See you guys tomorrow :)

Photo credit – Laughlin

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This post has 4 comments.


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  1. filantera`
    06 Mar 08 8:41 am

    yep…………to comment others are so much simpler things to do:)

    but, even a perfect surgeon still need somebody else cut his appendix:p

  2. 06 Mar 08 12:09 pm

    there’s a story of ghandi.
    once, there comes a mother with her son. her son loves to eat sugar, so her mother, worried about her son’s health, asks ghandi to advise the son to stop eating sugar.
    And Ghandi says ‘come to me tomorrow and I’ll give him one.’
    So she comes again the next day with her son to see Ghandi. As they see him he says, ‘son, do not eat sugar.’ full stop.
    the mother is angry. why the hell that Ghandi says that only, and not more??
    So she asks why, and Ghandi answers,
    ‘ In order to advice people, one has to have the same discipline. If I eat sugar and I advice your son not to eat suger, it means nothing.’
    so the moral of the story, see your own self before you advice people. Cakap mesti serupa bikinla kan :)

  3. amirahsyuhada
    06 Mar 08 11:01 pm

    i will be grateful if someone do this experiment on me..

  4. banji
    07 Mar 08 11:44 am

    filantera – good analogy, the best way to see ourselves is through someone’s else’s eyes.

    but, it would be best to be able to do just that ourselves right?

    azuwachan – good story azuwachan.. before advising other people, we should direct that to ourselves first. If we are very sure, we are a good example.. then only we can proceed.

    Even though, I really think the mother is the more suitable person to advise the child on diet. She should only go to ghandi for advice about philosophy etc heheh

    amirahsyuhada – the best person to see the good and the bad in you is of course your bestfriend. Maybe your spouse since he will usually has made peace with accepting both the bad and the good :)

    But the experiment is actually meant for US to look into ourselves. Not to ask from other people

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