Summary - 6 most efficient anger management tips

If I ask you “Who is the strongest man on the planet?” I’m quite sure that the name Superman will come up. For those still not sure, Superman is a fictional character from comic books. He was described to be able to lift even a mountain. I’m not sure what good that may do to us. However, there are more than one way to define strength.

There’s a saying that the strongest man is not the person who can lift the heaviest stone, but the person who can control his temper.

Let’s face it, a man with temper is no fun. Most of the time they are plain dangerous to be around with. When asked, almost all of them will say that they just didn’t realize how such emotion build up. It just burst like an active volcano.

Imagine if you can stop an active volcano from erupting. Don’t you think that’s superstrong? Here’s a few tips that may help control one’s temper.

1) Acknowledge that you are angry
As easy as this sound, this is the hardest step of all. However this is also the most efficient way to control your temper. I repeat, it is the MOST EFFICIENT way to control your temper. Once you know that you are angry, you will be more conscious about your reaction and that itself cools you down drastically.

2) Set OK limits
OK limits are actual limits that you set beforehand on when exactly it’s ok to lose your temper. Now you may ask “aren’t we supposed to be controlling the temper, not letting it go?”. Believe me that when you have establish this limits, it will be so much easier to control it.

For example, Let us assume you set the limit as such - “it is ok to lose your temper if somebody is hurting your loved ones”. When you know your limits, you will know that all other incident will not be worth it. Why? because they are not in the OK limit list. Imagine how many time you can avoid losing your temper this way.

It is important to have these limits. Just as it is important to be angry in the right situation. For example, a wife / husband cheating on you. You have every right to be angry. In fact that anger will make it easier for you to take action and move on.

3) Create a mantra
This is my favorite method. Personally, the mantra I always use to control my temper is “Once I spit, I will never lick the spit back”. Roughly translated that whenever I lose my temper I will be responsible to anything that may happen. No regrets or apology.

What’s your mantra?

4) Change position
In Islam, it is proposed that to control one’s temper you should change position. If for example you are standing, consider sitting down. I’m assuming there’s a theory behind it. That whenever we are angry at something, it would be best if we just walk away from being near to the things / person we are angry at.

If you are angry at losing football team, consider walking away to maybe a park or a lake. The farther you are from the match, the more relaxed you will become. How can you cool down when you are still at the match watching your team play horribly.

5) Find a safer way to let it out
In some cases, even after we cool down, the temper is still there inside. It may lessen with time but it’s still there and anything can spark it back to life. You need to get it out of your chest. Talk to your loved ones about it.

How about setting up an email account specifically for you to pour in all your emotion. Write an email of anger to that account and tell yourself he/she is reading it. That should help. I wonder if be.angry.at.me@gmail.com has been taken.

6) Breathe
If all else fail, you can try this - Breathe in and out slowlly. Just focus on your breathing. Close your eyes and feel the air going in and out. There.. you are now meditating

Conclusion - There are a lot of technique out there for anger management. They even set up classes just for this. But I truly believe that these five are the most efficient method of all.

Controlling temper is never easy. Do not expect anything less. That is why when you can control it, you can proudly declare that you are the strongest man / woman in the world

- I wonder -
How do you control your temper?

————- Personal Note ————
I’m sorry for the long absence. Work caught up with me. The thing about my line of work is that, I’m on standby 24/7 minus the overtime pay. Sometime I can get very upset thinking about it. But I have made my peace with it.

How have you guys been?

Photo credit - hypertypos

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Summary - 5 uncommon interview tips
If you google the keywords “interview skills”, you will be presented with all the basic, which generally includes -

• Dress sharp
• Speak confidently
• Research the company
• Be polite
• Etc

Can I suggest another few tips that may also help?

1) Talk to stranger.
Try this, get on a bus. It can be any bus. And immediately say hi to the stranger besides you. Please don’t just pick seats to flirt. The idea is not for you to flirt. It’s for you to practise your interview skill.

Expected results:

• You are no longer afraid to speak.
• You can generate question on the spot.

2) Redo a sketch of your favorite sitcom.
You will need the help of another fan for this. For example, you love “Friends” the sitcom. Pick one scene about 1 -2 minutes long and memorize the dialogue.

Now redo the whole scene without looking at the script. I’m very sure you will forget most of the line, so improvise. Make up your own line. It can become another story.

Expected results:

• You should be more confident in improvising your interview script whenever necessary.
• You will learn how to be witty with your words and make you memorable to the interviewer.

3) Go for a “mock” real interview.
Spend some time to go to a shopping mall and apply for a job there. Any job. Practise everything you have learn to get the job. You can try being very funny, or very aggresive. It shouldn’t matter if you were accepted or not, this is just for you to practise. So go crazy

Expected results:

• You will get used to the whole interview scenario, it no longer terrifies you.
• You can actually ask the interviewer how you can actually improve yourself.

4) Help a friend to haggle.
You have a friend, and this friend wants to buy a laptop. You should follow him and do the haggling part for him. Haggle the price until you can get what you want. After all, you have the buying power. Why not get the most out of it.

Expected results:

• You will have more confident in discussing your salary or benefit.
• You will learn a few tips on how to haggle.

5) Monitor people being interviewed.
Assuming you have a friend of a friend who interview people. Why not ask him to let you in in one of the interview session. You are not interviewing people, you are just going to watch how people are interviewed. Take note on what works and what’s not.

Expected results:

• You will have an updated and real version of interview skills.
• You will see that the interviewer is actually not that scary.

/end list

Conclusion - Being interviewed is actually not that difficult. They are not going to ask you why you fail English, or make fun of the weird society you joined. They already have all the details in your resume. What they want to see is how you behave, what’s your attitude and motivation, and most importantly how you potray yourself.

The best part is they can only see all these via the way you express yourself (listening and speaking). Concentrate on those as suggested by the 5 items above. You will do fine

- I wonder -
Any other interview tips you would like to add?

——— Personal Note ———–
I still remember my first successful interview. To tell you the truth, I was not that prepared. I didn’t research the company, I have no idea what my job scope is, and I think I was very hungry at the time. It’s a difficult time then. I needed a job ASAP.

However I believe they accepted me to the company simply because of the following conversation that happened in the interview (written from memory)

Interviewer - So banji, do you have a girlfriend?
Banji - Yes, I do

Interviewer - I must inform you that this job will require you to be sent to Sabah and maybe Indonesia. Most girlfriends will not understand this. What would you do if you were sent there and your girlfriend doesn’t approve?

Banji - Hm I can always find a new girlfriend there
Interviewer - (Laughing out loud.. both of them)

Photo Credit - Nathan Callahan

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Summary - Clean as you go

I have a confession. House chores are very boring. All those dishes to wash, corner of the house to clean. I don’t hate them. It’s just sometimes when the dishes piled up, it is very demotivating to just look at it. This attitude does not help either since it will keep piling up until at one point, I will have no other choice but immediately do it. By that time, I will often do it with a not-happy look in my face.

I was introduced to a new concept of cleaning, which is “Clean As You Go”. Basically it says as soon as you created a mess immediately clear it up. Let me elaborate through some examples

When you are done with dinner, immediately wash all the dishes. This will only takes 2 minutes tops since the amount of dishes is just a few. As a result, whenever you go into the kitchen, there will be no dishes piling up. Thus a smile on your face. (I know there’s one on mine)

You see some clutter on your desk, like crumpled paper, unused envelopes etc. Don’t hesitate. throw them away into the rubbish bin immediately. Take 30 seconds from your time to do exactly that. You will then have a more organized desk for your work

When you’re casually driving just after the rain and out of nowhere there’s a dirt flying and hit your windscreen. You can leave it there if you want and drive away. But it will be easier if you stop the car and wash it away immediately. If you wait, that dirt may dried up and makes it harder to clean.

The idea is simple. Whatever you do, be it working, watching television, dinner etc, allocate a few seconds for quick cleaning. Just a few seconds will do and you will see a great change in your house cleanliness.

Another important point you must remember is not to overdo the cleaning. If not you will end up doing a spring cleaning project all the way and you cannot finish your other works, or watching that television. Remember, all you need is a few seconds.

There’s a saying in Malaysia - Sedikit-sedikit lama-lama jadi bukit. Directly translated - A few dirt daily, soon it will be a mountain.

- I wonder -
Do you have cleanliness problem in your house?

——— Personal Note ———
I am actually practising this now. It all started when I have to do house cleaning project everytime I’m off from work. To tell you the truth, I’d rather be resting on my day off.

Tried the idea, and it works..

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Summary - 3 Size Decreasing Method

I have countlessly stress that learning is the best way to grow. You should be able to learn new thing your entire life. Take the computer for example, the minute you buy one, you will see newer and better product in the market the next hour

However I must admit, I too have had quite a rough time during my study. I experimented with a lot of methods to make studying as effective as possible.

I think it would be best for me to share a method I created and I can guarantee you that it is one of the most effective method to study. At least one student would agree with me - My previous self

I didn’t actually have a name for this method. But if I have to name it, I will call it 3 Size Decreasing Method.

Step 1: A4 Sized Notes
The same as every method of studying. It revolves around reading notes. First you will have to copy everything there is to know about the subject on your A4 papers. Let’s take blogging for examples

By now you should have 20 A4 papers of everything there is to know about blogging. Bear with me, It starts from planning, name, hosting, free or paid, registration, first post, theme, widget, about page, traffic, network, advertisement, money making, and many other details.

If you can memorize all that, that would be cool. And this method will no longer be needed to help. However, if you can’t remember every details. Try step 2.

Step 2: Half of A4 Sized Notes
Fold your paper into two and tear them into half. You should have 20 half sized A4 paper by now. Great! all you need to do now is to summarize the whole 20 pages into these 20 half page.

The only rule is your handwriting should remain the same size.

You can do however you want, you can categorize the notes, or put it into note form, or just by drawing pictures. It’s all up to you. But no cheating. The objective is to summarize one page of information into half page of information.

The next step is important. Now you must read the entire new notes and with every page you read, try to connect the summary to the original notes on your full sized A4 papers.

Step 3: Quarter of A4 sized Notes
You know the drill. This time summarize all the information from your half sized paper into these new quarter sized papers.

Remember, maintain normal handwriting font size. using the same example - blogging, I would by now have these as my points

• Concept Planning & Goal
• Technical Planning
• Writing Techniques
• Appearance
• Accesories
• Networking Strategies
• SEO
• Traffic Optimization
• Miscellaneous

I guess I just need 1 piece of quarter sized A4 paper.

Conclusion - The overall idea is to connect between summaries and the details. By collapsing the datas into summaries, we can expand them at will. And with some practice, all you will need is just to remember the summary and you can elaborate on the expanded ideas effortlessly

I’m not sure if this method is already being used or published by other people. But I can very well say that this is the best method I developed personally and used to study. You are welcomed to try

- I wonder -
You must have special methods to study. Care to share?

——— Personal Note ————
There are a lot of funny methods I see my friends practising. Once when I was in Form 5 (that’s about the age of 17), there was a friend of mine who actually studied at the grave. You see, my school is located very near to this royal grave. And that grave is very well lighted with fans and all.

When I asked, wasn’t he afraid? He said that he was terrified, too terrified that studying is the only way to distract him.

I know there’s a logic somewhere in there

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