Summary – Important to establish these 5 very early in a marriage

Tomorrow is going to be the biggest day in my brother’s life, DaPocket. No more a bachelor, he will then be a husband 🙂

Things will be quite different after you get married. I’ve stressed this in the past, and I think it is that important to stress it again now. However, no need to worry, the changes is only for the better.

Unless both of you had married before, you will have no idea what to expect. So this is my early gift to you.. A list of things you should establish very early in your marriage.

1) To err is human. Establish with her that you will make mistake, she will make mistake. When any of you did make a mistake, the other should be able to forgive. You may not like it if she call you when you’re working, she may accidentally called you. So please forgive her. It will take some time for her to know you.

2) New parents. Her family is now your family, and so is your family is now hers. Family will always come first. And both of you must understand that. Never ever use family as tools in your marriage. For example, “I will not let you visit your folk if you keep bothering me when I work!”. These types of talk should never come across your mind.

3) Money spending. This is a very sensitive issue. She works and you work. Establish very early how the both of you are going to spend your money. How much to save? Who will have the final say as such. Bear in mind, that in Islam, a working wife’s salary is hers to keep. You should not be using that money for the family unless she’s willingly give you the money.

4) Bad day. Sometimes bad days happen. The two of you may argue on a matter. Establish how both of you are going to end the argument. Personally I’m practising the rule that neither of us (me and the mrs) should go to bed angry. We settle any argument or hurt feeling beforehand. Alhamdulillah, so far it’s working quite well

5) Alone Time. Both of you must understand this very clearly. yes, you two now a partner in life, and must share everything. But, there will be time when all we need is some alone time. A time for us to do what we want. I am thankful that the mrs (my mrs of course) is very understanding of my blogging activity. She would give me some alone time for this. Just remember, alone time doesn’t mean that you dislike the company. You just need some time just for you.

– I wonder –
what else do you guys think, of things we should be established before hand?

———— Personal Note —————
At the moment I’m posting this articles, I am probably already on the highway half way back. Tomorrow it will be busy busy day, cleaning up the house, putting up some decoration.

Will definitely post up pictures later.. 🙂

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Summary – Is It Worth It?

Did I tell you I’m going back to Kedah (my hometown) this evening for DaPocket’s wedding. It’ll be a long drive of about 600km.

This time around, especially with the Chinese New Year around the corner, there will usually be an increase rate of accidents throughout the country. I however think that there are 4 words that if applied during driving, the risk of getting into an accidents will reduced drastically.

The words are – Is It Worth It?

Whenever you are tempted to race with another driver, say it out loud – Is it worth it? Is it worth it to be declared a winner in that dull race while there’s a possibility of being killed?

You are feeling extremely sleepy while driving. You have a choice whether to continue driving or pull over and sleep for a while. Is it really worth it to reach home 20 minutes earlier when you most probably will pass out driving and hit a pedestrian.

For motorcyclist, it is always more comfortable not wearing a helmet. But ask yourself, is it worth it to fall into a coma after the accident for the sake of 30 minutes of comfortability?

The fact is despite all our effort, road accidents still happen around the world. I”m sure everyone involved know the danger of accident but it still happen. Why?

My theory is each person must find their very own method on how to keep themselves safe. Mine is these 4 words.

– I wonder –
What’s yours?

———– Personal Note ————–
After work today, around 5pm, I will start my journey back home. I will be on leave from work until 12th. Not that I’m celebrating the new year. It is actually for preparing for DaPocket’s wedding.

Anyone in Kedah, that time?

* Kedah is the northern state of Malaysia 

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I went through my previous post on why students should save money during their study years, and I thought what better entry to complement it if not on how to save money. So this is a compilation of some ideas I have. Feel free to add yours 🙂

1) Know why you need to save money. One reason is described here

2) Understand that being frugal is not cheapskate. Don’t be ashamed to be frugal. You have to do what you need to do.

3) Never spend more than you have. That’s the only way to lose money

4) Be very careful on the day your loan banked in. It is a vicious cycle. You had finished off your loan and you’re living frugally, but when you received that money.. the chances are you will spend it innocently just for the sake of revenge 🙂

5) Befriend frugal minded friends. Friends are the closest we had during studying and usually we will do everything together. If your friends like to hang out at Starbuck, then I predict it will be a long way for you to save. 🙂

6) Avoid debt at all cost. We can never get everything in life, something are never meant for us.

7) Credit card is a no no. The golden rule is if you can’t afford it, you should save another couple of month to buy it.

8] Only buy used text book.

• Make friends with your seniors, maybe they can give it to you for free
• Always check with the seniors that had taken the course. Ask them, “Is the book really that important?”
• Make use of the library. If the text book is not that important, just borrow it from the library

9) Stop for a while when you are at the gadget shop. Seriously, when it comes to gadget, think, rethink and think again. Do you REALLY need it? Hm.. since we are at it, think again at every shop, will you?

10) Shop smart. Shop only when it’s on sale. But of course you must first eye the items to know the price before sale. Some sellers markup their price prior the sale. So it may look like 70% but it is actually only 20%

11) Stop smoking. Just imagine how much you can save if you quit. It’s a hard thing I know. Surf and check tips on how to quit. They may work for you. One friend of mine actually stopped after he had smoked until he puke 🙂

12) Exercise regularly. A healthy body is less expensive to maintain. And I’m not just talking about your studying years. It will be a lifetime reward.

13) Eat healthy & avoid junkfood. Everyone knows that junk food has no value, but we still ate it. It’s time to stop.. especially when we want to save that cents for our future.

14) Keep yourself busy. Play badminton or futsal, or join martial art. When you are busy, you will have less time to wander around the mall and suddenly come back with 12 bags of clothes

15) Live without motorcycle or car. Unless you live very far from the campus, try to avoid having one. It is convenient, true. But if you can walk or cycle to class, why not? You will be healthier definitely.

• Carpool is always an excellent idea

16) Be cheap with handphone usage.

• Downgrade postpaid to prepaid.
• Only call if you really need to.
• Two words – SMS and email

17) Cook / Share a meal. I’ve actually done the experiment. Cooking own meal is always cheaper than buying the meal. And I even cooked and bought the same food for accuracy 🙂

18) Always check for ways to have fun without spending excessively. Instead of going to cybercafe playing online game, maybe you can ask skilled friends to network some computers and play with your friends indoors.

19) Less going out. The more we go out, the more we spend. Period. So maybe instead of going out every weekend to buy several items, combine the whole errand and do one shot once a month

20) Start some business. Maybe you know how to repair computers so put up some advertisement, and just start offering the service. Remember, be very careful choosing the business. We want to make money not lose it 🙂

21) Do part time job on long holiday. Besides earning a bit extra, you will get a lot of working experience such as networking, business etc

Final Action
So after all that you finally have a few dollars saved, what do you do? It will be a terrible thing if you go out and spend it all. The final action you should do is deposit it in the bank. (22)

– I wonder –
Any other tips you think may be useful?

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Soon going to be a father, I have done quite a lot of research and book reading on what to expect. Especially all the how-tos around the baby. However, these tips I received via email are really enlightening 🙂 See it for yourself. Credit to DaPocket

Enjoy your Sunday guys!!

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