A friend had written in her blog asking advice on how to move on after a break up with her ex-boyfriend. Many had advised her to start a new hobby, do things to distract her from thinking about him etc. In the end, she said that all those ideas have not worked and only making it worse.

In my opinion, she had approached the problem wrongly. In case you’re reading this. These are the most important steps you must do first.

1) Ask youself – Do you really want to move on?

• The problem with people nowadays is we don’t really know what we want. We said we want to forget the ex-boyfriend and move on but the truth is we are the happiest when thinking about him. So ask yourself, do you really want to move on or not? Establish this first or any attempt to forget him will be useless

2) In order to forget, stop trying to forget

• This is also where people usually go wrong. We cannot force our mind to forget. It will only remember even clearer. Take sleeping for example, try forcing yourself to sleep. You will end up stay awake the entire night. So step no 2 is to stop trying to forget. Stop immediately!

• So what do you do now that you stop trying to forget. You learn from the experience. If your boyfriend is abusive, list down how to identify abusive people for your future reference. Learn everything you can from it and (THIS IS IMPORTANT) whenever his image come up to your mind, reanalyze your experience again. Do take note that this is a very difficult process. It is always much easier and happier to just day dreaming of him proposing to you but you should avoid this.

• Remember, whenever you start thinking about him, NO day dreaming and start listing down lessons. Your mind will slowly associates the memory with “listing down lesson” and hate it so much that it will automatically stop the memory from ever resurface again

Try that, and tell me in two weeks time 🙂 Good luck!

————— Personal Note ————————–
I personally love to listen to people’s problem when they talk to me about it. I usually prefer not to offer any advice but just an ear. After people let out all their problem verbally, they will usually have a clearer picture of their problem and its solution.

I personally love to listen to people’s problem. It usually will enrich me with the experience without having to go through them.

p.s. – How about you guys? How do you move on after a break like that?

Assalamualaikum guys.. As you may be aware, I just returned from my “Balik Kampung” trip to Kedah. My bus was scheduled to arrive at 12.00 am. So, as always the mrs and I came a bit earlier at around 11.45pm. When I approached the counter, the attendant told me that there may be a bit delay to the bus arrival as the bus just arrived in Alor Setar. I fully understand that. It’s very hard to organize such dynamic arrangements. So I asked her when would the bus arrived here. She told me very convincingly that by 12.45am, the bus will arrive. “That’s fair” I thought to myself, so both of us help ourself with late supper and chat to kill the time.

By 1am, the bus was still no where to be seen. I again approached the counter and asked the whereabout. To my surprise, the girl just smile and said “Biasalah, janji melayu.. katanya tak jalan lagi dari alor setar” I was really shocked. My wife was so furious she claim want to kick the poor flower vase at the place. (which I doubt will break and will only hurt her leg heheh)

So what is this “Janji Melayu”? Yes, I’m familiar with the term. It is when we promise to do something at a specific time but almost very sure will not follow the time.

Why do “Melayu” associated with this type of attitude? Are we proud having this attitude? Where nobody will take our words seriously..Where our words actually is worthless.

For those who read this, Malay or Non-Malay, can I assume that you are at least have some interest in improving yourself? We need to change this term “Janji Melayu”. Forget about everyone else. We are the one who must first change. When we promise something… Let us make sure that the promise is well kept.

If we say, tomorrow at 7am, we will wait at someplace, let the other person know that, that WILL SURELY HAPPEN. To change a culture is not an easy thing to do. But we can surely change our attitude. Once that changed, show other people the importance of that change. Don’t aim to change the attitude of the whole company or university just yet. Aim small. Maybe with your friends.

It is my believe that we are given “akal” to guide the rest of our organs (~hands, leg, eye, and especially mouth) to do good. If our mouth utter words that is worthless. What’s the difference between us and those without “akal”

————— Personal Note ————————–
Do excuse today’s entry which is a bit personal and emotional. Can you blame me? I fully understand that sometime the unexpected happens. And sometime, we can plan all we want but it is always up to Him in the end. I’m just very frustrated when promise now doesn’t carry any value at all and they expect me to accept that. Oh ya, the bus arrived at 2.00 am

Summary – A conversation script to illustrate how to handle difficult customer
I read this in a book about how to manage difficult person. I found it very interesting and had tried the same tactics in my line of work. The story and script are obviously rewritten based on my memory.

One day, while working in the ticketing counter of an airline company, Asni was approached by a fierce looking man, namad Latif. He is very rude cutting the line straight to the counter and slammed the counter with his fist so hard, everyone was shocked.

Asni – How can I help you sir?

Latif – Don’t give me that polite rubbish. I want to get on a plane to London now! You hear me!

* Let me stop you right here. If you were Asni, and you check and know that there is actually one available seat. What would you do? Give it to him? Here what Asni did

Asni – I’m very sorry sir, but there is no available seat left. Hm I tell you what, just give me 2 minutes while I try to find any other alternatives.

Latif – you better find me that seat or I will sie your company for making me missed my appointment

Asni – (picking up the phone, PRETENDING to talk to another person) Hello, this is Asni, I would like to check if all seats were taken or not?

Asni – (obviously talking to no one continues)Yes, I understand, you cannot do that. But I have a gentleman here who urgently need the seat. It’s a matter of life and death (wink at the gentleman)

Latif at this moment.. seemed touched by the effort made by Asni, started to calm down and give her a thumbs up.

Asni – Please, if there is a seat, why not give to this gentleman. He wouldn’t mind buseness class or not. He just need to be there for his daughter’s operation (again wink at Latif)

Asni – I tell you what, you help me with this one. I buy you dinner later. So how? Ok Thank a lot!!! I really owe you one

Latif – (by now in debt with Asni… amazed with his service) Thank you so much dear. I will put up a good comments on you later. Thank again ya

Asni – (smiling)

/end script

If we just give Latif the ticket, he will still be cranky all the way to London. This way, both will benefit. But of course, Asni cannot bluff all her customer. Now that would be unethical hehe..

So how do you guys handle difficult person? Any tricks?

————— Personal Note ————————–
I used to do part time in Metrojaya as a Customer Service. I still missed the worklife there. Less responsibility and you can see a lot of people. One of our daily job is of course to wrap gift. I can do any design within minutes… heheh But the best memory there, is when we are so busy wrapping (it’s christmas) and suddenly one gentleman came and bought us 1 box of Dunkin Donut, appreciating our work. We were smiling all day long

Photo Credit – PDAgrl

Summary – Lesson learnt from movies I watched
There are millions of movies (if counted from the beginning of time of course) in the world, we just cannot watch them all. Yes, we need to choose. Read the review and check whether it will benefit us or not Movies are supposed to be pure entertainment. I do not agree. If I’ going to lose two hours of my life. I better get something out of it

List of movies I watched and important knowledge gained

1) Lord of The Ring

• The most powerful and evil ring has only one power. Obsession which is desire, if not controlled properly will corrupt everything

2) Princess Diary 1

• You can only be hurt if you allow yourself to be hurt (The queen’s bodyguard advice to the princess)

3) Phenomenon

• It is human very nature to fear what they don’t understand.
• We are blessed with so much potential. Some of those we aware and some we don’t. In the end, it depends on what we do with it

4) Jumanji

• Being a grown up means you take responsibility of what you did

/end list

No, learning something from movies you watch is not a turn off. It actually
make the movie easier to remember.

How about you guys? Any lesson you learned from movies you watched? 🙂