Let’s assume you found a wallet. Inside there’s about $1000 and an identity card. You will be able to return the wallet to the owner with the address attached to the identity card.

There’s a catch anyway. You actually knew the owner. The owner is actually one of your sworn nemesis or enemy. He is an actual bad person, always calling you names, and always hurt your feeling by making fun of you.

Will you still return the wallet to your enemy?

The right thing to do is of course to return the wallet to the owner, irregardless of how bad he is. That’s the way we actually have to practice.

When given a choice, always do the right thing and never let emotion cloud your mind.

Today, here in Malaysia, everyone is talking about one thing – The General Election. For those who votes, you will be facing choices, between two or more opposing political parties. What ever your choice will be, please do one thing.

Never let emotion lead your decision. You by now should have your principle on the matter. Follow that principles.

People will always be people. They will annoy other people, and talk behind everyone’s back about other people. Usually on the bad side of things. Why should you let this interfere with your judgment? Discard these gossips and make the right choice based on your principles.

Come to think of it, even though there is no election going on, we should never base our decision on emotion. Don’t you think?

——— Personal Note ———
I will be heading back to Kuala Lumpur immediately after I cast my vote. Tomorrow I will start working and apparently a lot of projects to oversee.

For my Malaysian friends, happy voting!

It’s time for another experiment. Hm I guess I should create another category just for some of the experiments I proposed here.

The objective of this experiment to bring up the hidden life-consultant in you. I bet, there must be once in your life that another person came to you and asked for your advice. The advice may be about career, relationship or just plain stress relieving talk.

Some people argue that they just don’t know how to give advice to people. I will have to disagree. Advice is simply our personal opinion on a matter and whether or not the advice will do more harm than good is really beyond our knowledge. Although please refrain from giving really bad advice like commit suicide etc. Here goes –

The Victim
Think about a friend of yours. Of all your friends, choose the most problematic. He may be on the verge to commit suicide due to stress, or maybe is convinced that he is alone in the world and that nobody really cares about him. These are just examples of how problematic the friend is. Feel free to choose any friend with any problems.

A reminder, don’t call him up just yet 🙂 We are just going to brainstorm some advice for him,

The Analysis
Now try to analyze him. What do you think his REAL problem is? if he is thinking about committing suicide due to stress, then stress is the root of the problem. Again, redefine this problem. What’s causing him the stress? Repeat the redefining process until you have identified the REAL root of problem.

The Advice
Based on your experience and knowledge, how do you advise this friend of yours. It is important that you write those advice on a paper. Just pour it all in. Be as simple and frank as you can be.

The REAL Experiment
Guess what, advising your friend is only the introduction of the experiment. The actual message in this entry is for you to take your own advice. For example, you advise your friend to be more appreciative of his life and what he was given. Redirect that advice to you. Figure out how to be more appreciative of your life and what you were given.

It is almost a fact that we are so much better at criticizing other people than we are at looking at ourselves.

Practise this once a week and we might finally be able to see our own self from other’s point of view.

– I wonder –
Anyone actually do this experiment?

———- Personal Note ———-
This is a totally unrelated personal note. Today after work, I will be heading back to my hometown in Kedah (about 500 km drive). There will be an election this 8th and I’m casting my vote there.

It is so tempting to write a political post here, with all the heated discussion on the matter. But, rest assured, if I will ever do that.. it will be posted on another blog, not here. See you guys tomorrow 🙂

Photo credit – Laughlin

People always complain that somehow their workload seems to be endless and not decreasing in number. There are always files or documents to do on the work table, and even though we spend a lot of time to finish the work, the files and documents doesn’t seem to be reducing in number, instead they are increasing.

I’m not going to venture about prioritizing or the Pareto application. Instead I am more interested in the how to motivate ourselves to clear our desk by the end of the day.

This is what I do for motivation

The secret to the motivation actually lies in this mathematical formula

This is the formula that describe why our work will always pile up. Simply, we have 2 works, and 2 more works were given, but we just finish 1. So logically tomorrow we will start the day with 3 works.

Yes, this is very logical. Everybody knows this. But the logical truth is, if we don’t finish up more work than the amount of extra work given, it will definitely pile up each day. No other secrets

We can learn everything there is to know about getting things done or GTD, but all those theory will not reduce that mountain of work if we do not finish more work than the amount of work added.

So if later, you are not interested to finish up your work, or maybe that procrastination gene kicks in, remember the formula given.

I leave the other two formulas for you to decipher

– I wonder –
How do you motivate yourself to finish the work?

——— Personal Note ———-
I spent most of the working time in the mill, however I know that back in the office, my mountain of paper work are there waiting and smiling. I’m still working on a more efficient system on how to finish the work. Currently I dedicate my 4pm especially to do the paperwork.

Summary – Proper Get To Know in Baby Steps

One of the simplest question in the world and yet comes with millions of different answers is this “How do you win a woman’s / guy’s heart?”

Ever wonder why the millions of different answers? The reason is because everyone is simply uniquely different. If you give a girl a flower, she may likes it and find you romantic. Another girl if given the same flower, may actually be throwing it away. If later on she starts to vomit, it’s a sign for you to move on 🙂

So how can we become the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife? How to know the correct way to treat each other? The perfect amount to treat/care for someone?

Well my friend. It is not an easy job. But the whole secret is this – Proper Get To Know in Baby Steps. Let me try to explain this method.

An example, it’s your first date. And you are afraid of saying the wrong things, discussing things that she may not like. So what do you do?

Things she definitely like
First try to talk about things that she must like. For examples, she is studying art. The most accurate assumption is that she likes art. You can try to ask her some small details about art. Whether the subject is hard or not? Don’t ask her to teach you art. She’s going out with you, not her lecturer. Just some small details.

Listen & Make a mental note
This is where people always fail. They just don’t listen. You of all person, should listen to everything she said. There are always hints in her conversation about other things she like.

It is important that you remember what she like. Why? I’ll explain it soon

Start Get-To-Know
Now we probably have some question in mind. For example, does she have sense of humor? what kind of joke she hated? This is where you will have to baby-step your way in. Put up a joke, and if she laugh, make a mental note of that joke.

Don’t immediately attack her then with your Giant Book of Joke. That would annoy anyone. 🙂 So what happen if your joke is not acceptable or hated? Simply just don’t pursue that route. Say sorry and start afresh with another approach. Ask about other things you would like to know, bestfriend, hated lecturers etc.

If all else fail, remember that list of things she like? Use them back. Of course the reintroducing of the topic must be very subtle.

Then what?
By the end of the date, you should know a lot of details about her. What she like? How she like / hate to be treated? What topic is forbidden to talk about? etc

Just imagine you go out with a person who knows exactly what you like to talk about, do exactly what he/she is expected to do.

The keyword is baby-step. You should introduce anything in small detail at first, and if she dislikes the idea, just abandon that idea and move on to the next thing.

Most people already know about this, but most of the time they do 2 mistakes :
1) They rush into things

• The girl herself is trying to get to know you. Take your time

2) They do not listen

• How can you know her if you do not listen. And obviously you will be repeating the same mistakes over and over.

– Disclaimer –
The concept is NOT only applied to men. It can be used by both men and women, especially husband and wife, even between friends. 🙂

– I wonder –
Anything else I missed?

——- Personal Note ——–
I am going to tell you a secret. The first time the mrs and I date, I actually bought her a rose. When she saw me standing there with a rose, she actually ran away 🙂 And after I caught up with her, (and after a lot of persuasion) she told me that she dislikes the idea of rose at the first date.

I learnt my lesson and now she is Mrs banji 🙂