Summary – Do not judge rushingly

There was an old man in a village. He was very poor, but even the king of the country were jealous of him because he had a beautiful white horse. The King offered a lot of money in exchange for the horse, but the man would say, “This horse is very precious to me, and I will not sell it for whatever price”.

One morning, he found that the horse was not in the stable. The whole village gathered and they said, “You foolish old man! We knew that someday the horse would be stolen. It would have been better to sell it. What a misfortune!”

The old man said, “Don’t go so far as to say that. Simply say that the horse is not in the stable. This is the fact; everything else is a judgment. Whether it is a misfortune or a blessing who knows?” The whole villagers laughed at the old man.

But after fifteen days, suddenly one night the horse returned. And not only that, it brought along a dozen other wild horses with him. Again the people gathered and they said, “Old man, you were right. This was not a misfortune; it has indeed proved to be a blessing.”

The old man said, “Again you are going too far. Just say that the horse is back . . . Who knows whether it is a blessing or not? It is only a fragment. You read a single word in a sentence-how can you judge the whole book?”
This time the people could not say much, but inside they knew that he was wrong. Twelve beautiful horses had come, how can that be a misfortune.

The old man had an only son who started to train the wild horses. Just a week later he fell from a horse and his legs were broken. The people gathered again and again they judged. They said, “Again you proved right! It was a misfortune. Your only son has lost the use of his legs, and in your old age he was your only support. Now you are poorer than ever.”

The old man said, “You are obsessed with judgment. Don’t go that far. Say only that my son has broken his legs. Nobody knows whether this is a misfortune or a blessing. Life comes in fragments and more is never given to you.”

It happened that after a few weeks the country went to war, and all the young men of the town were forcibly taken for the military. Only the old man’s son was left, because he was crippled. The whole town was crying and weeping, because it was a losing fight and they knew most of the young people would never come back. They came to the old man and they said, “You were right, old man-this has proved a blessing. Maybe your son is crippled, but he is still with you. Our sons are gone forever.”

The old man said again, “You go on and on judging. Nobody knows! Only say this, that your sons have been forced to enter into the army and my son has not been forced. ”

Finally the villagers learn that important lesson

/end story

I’m sure you must have picked up the message behind the story. Whether or not you believe in God, things will always happen in your life. Some are good things, some are bad things.

What’s important is NOT how fortunate or unfortunate we are, it’s how we react to that incident. If for example, the old man immediately be depressed by the lost horse, and start selling all his valuable belongings just to avoid them being stolen, will that be a better solution?

In Islam, we were taught that our whole life is in fact a test. A test for us to be a better person with each test. If we suffer from misfortune like being robbed, we are expected to be patient and try to get back on our feet, start back our life. We are not doing ourselves any good if we blame everyone. We are still not getting back our stuff.

It’s however so much easier to pass the test when it’s a misfortune. It’s more difficult to pass a test when it is a good fortune. How many rich people we know who actually love to share their wealth with the poor people.

– I wonder –
What other lesson do you learn from this story? There are actually quite a few. 🙂

———– Personal Note ————
The story was forwarded to me by a friend. Thank you.

I’m quite busy these few days arranging for a ceremony for Zafirah. She is now 14 days old. The ceremony is to officiate the naming of the baby. A bit tired today. See you guys tomorrow

Photo Credit – Freeparking

A friend sent me these quotes (thanks, you know who you are). According to the email, these are how some children answered when they were asked to describe what is love. I have no idea whether the answers were truly from those children but I still find the quotes interesting.

Rebecca [age 8] – “When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.”

Terri (age 4) – “Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.”

Danny (age 7) – “Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.”

Nikka (age 6) – “If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.”

Noelle (age 7) – “Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.”

/end quotes

It’s Sunday, and here in LessonInLife I don’t think anyone deserve to be stressed with heavy topic on a Sunday 🙂

But can I ask, how would you describe love? (The catch is you must use only examples like what Rebecca, Danny and Noelle answered)

Photo credit –  Huong Lan

Summary – Sit down and write your policy

If you are employed in a company, I’m sure you are familiar with the word “company policy”. Have you read them? I have, and I am not sure I understand what it says there. Everything is so general and I keep asking myself, what can I benefit from this. They were framed as if they were very important.

Basically “company policy” is a very general statement on how the company will react to certain issues. An example is sentences like this – “Safety first”. So whenever a choice has to be made between profit and safety, the safety issue will be addressed first. It’s a policy.

A more interesting question would be – What’s your ultimate personal policy?

The Exercise
The following is an exercise I encourage you to try. Find yourself a paper and a pen. Of course sitting down, come up with an ultimate policy for you. A sentence that will be your guide on how to choose when there’s a choice, on how to react when something happen to you.

It can be two or three paragraphs, or simple lines like these

• Always choose the right thing to do
• Loved ones are my priority
• Me Me Me
• etc

For those with religion, it is advisable to let the religion be your ultimate policy.

The Fun Part
Here comes the fun part. Unless it is based on religion, you are allowed to change the policy anytime you see fit. Record however every time you change the policy. You need to do this because you must be accounted for everything you did based on the policy. Let me give you an example

Let say you started your policy with “Me Me Me”. Which is clear that whatever you are going to do with your life must be all about you. Maybe after a year, you realized that you are happier if you make your spouse happy. Then change your policy to “Me Me Spouse” and so on.

Conclusion – The most important thing about policy is that you must abide to it. This is a must. If you are not a good law abiding person, maybe you can create a policy on how to bend the rule 🙂

– I wonder –
What is your current policy when you have a problem?

——— Personal Note ———–
Totally unrelated to the post, I would like to wish my dearest wife (which is popularly known here as the mrs) “Happy Birthday Dear”. I would have given you a nice present. But I don’t think anything can top the one given by Allah for us, our beloved Zafirah 🙂

I pray for your happiness every second of my life. Amiin

365 days ago, I wrote – Why You Shouldn’t Be Depressed On Birthdays

Photo Credit – Fly Again

Summary – You can either gain speed or weep

It has been a very hectic week. And when I look at it, it was all worth it 🙂 For those who just tuned in, I was promoted to being a father on the 27th May.

One thing that I noticed is that a lot of my routine has been affected. I have to put aside blogging for the past few days. The same goes to other habits I’m trying to stick on like doing exercise etc. Everything get pushed behind.

Don’t you think it is very frustrating when all your habits get pushed aside? like suddenly you are forced to eat a buffet after years of dieting, or forced to rest in bed due to leg broken when you have been training for a marathon months.

Personally, I do. I find my peace everyday when I write here in LessonInLife. However, due to unavoidable reason, I have to stop writing for a few days and that sometimes make me frustrated.

This is however a very wrong approach to life. We should never be frustrated when something else come in our way. By being frustrated, people will usually take more time to return back to the original plan.

For example, a man who undergoes diet, suddenly were forced to break that diet because he’s travelling oversea and he wanted to have a taste of the local cuisine there. When he came back, he noticed he gained a few kg.

If he took the normal reaction by being frustrated, he will probably give up the diet altogether and eat even more than before. “What’s the point?”.

The best way for him to handle mishaps in habit forming is to accept that fact about him gaining a few kg, and immediately starts back his diet. Why bother cursing himself about that gained weight? It will still be there after all the frustration and curse.

Conclusion – When there were speed bump in our life, we can choose to either regain back our speed or park aside and weep. Between the two, which will get to the destination faster?

– I wonder –
What’s your most recent speed bump in life?

———– Personal Note ———–
The baby was diagnosed to have G6PD Deficiency. Which generally means she will easily get Jaundice (or the Yellow Sickness) whenever she’s in contact with certain chemicals. Alhamdulillah, as of now, her level of Jaundice is under control. We will be monitoring like a hawk 🙂

Photo Credit – Andrew.Petro